Soft?

Now I know I’ve gone soft. I’m actually quite touched by this story, seen on the Beeb website just this evening. How fab is that? It’s not that he’s winning, it’s that he’s giving the money to charity. I don’t know if I’d do the same thing in his position. Or would I? Not like I could take it with me. But I could make damn good use of it before I cark it. Maybe.

And another thing: I’ve been informed recently that I have “a type”. This “type” precludes me from (probably) ever finding a bloke in Hongkie Town. Yeah, you’ve guessed it: blond. I mean, come on, my first ever boyfriend was blond, I grew up on Han Solo (and Indiana Jones), and I have a thing for others not-so-blond but kinda blond in a squint-cos-it’s-the-lighting kinda way (yes, Dean Winchester, I’m talking about you). So the next confession should come as no surprise - a weakness for semi-blondness and accents (and ARMS) taken into account.





Yeah, that’ll be Charles ‘Trip’ Tucker III (he’s from Florida, people!), from ‘Enterprise’. Which I only watched cos ‘Supernatural’ has finished, ‘Burn Notice’ doesn’t start season three until 4th June, and I have to find summat to get my mind of another interminable summer of work, work, and oh let’s see - yes, more work.

Yeah, you see, none of this is actually my fault - me dad made me watch the original back int day, I chose to watch Next Gen during secondary school (granted), and then went on to DS9 in a big way during college and Real Life. No surprise that I should lust after take a liking to a grease monkey with a luuuurvely Florida drawl and blondish hair in yet another incarnation of said series? (But just fert record: no, did not get off on ‘Voyager’ at all…)

At least we’ve got tickets to FINALLY see ‘Star Trek’ on Friday night. Cos it opens Thursday, you see. Can’t wait. Karl Urban fert PHWOOOOAAAAARRR! factor and Simon Pegg fert tee-hee factor? Aceness.

That shallot. Onion. Thing. Time for bed, said Zebedee.

Peach and lube, people, peach and lube…

Tags:
cancer ~ Connor Trinner ~ Trip Tucker ~ DS9 ~ Star Trek

HAPPY TOWEL DAY!

It’s 25th May! Happy towel day - hope you have your Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters and really really dark shades ready. What? You don’t have a recipe for a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster? Jeez, you guys are so unhip it’s a wonder your bums don’t fall off!

Let me furnish you with a recipe from The Guide (Stephen Fry style):

Take the juice from one bottle of that Ol’ Janx Spirit.
Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V.
Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzene is lost).
Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it (in memory of all those happy Hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia).
Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones.
Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Sun-Tiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian suns deep into the heart of the drink.
Sprinkle Zamphour.
Add an olive.
Drink. Very carefully.

Peach and lube people - them as know where their towels are, of course…

Tags:
HHG2TG ~ Towel Day ~ Douglas Adams

The darkness and the light

I normally have quite a good time int shower. We’re not quite talking Dean Winchester levels of enjoyment, but it’s normally a highlight of my day to get in there and splash about. Unfortunately, my shower has decided to go all Evil Bathroom Facility this last week.

Imagine, if you will, that you’re enjoying a nice warm jet of soapy water. It starts to heat up and suddenly blasts the hottest shock of super-heated near-steam you’ve ever scalded yourself with. Worth a few shouts and epithets, I think. Especially as the only way to stop it is to turn off the water and start again from scratch, trying to edge it off STONE FUCKING COLD to somewhere semi-comfortable.

Is that asking too much? Well, obviously, seeing as every shower now is turning into a cross between a mad dash from side to side in a thankfully rubber-matted cubicle and a competition to shout the foulest sentences at the highest volume.

Anyway, onto lighter things. During a discussion about earthworms (don’t ask), a few students and I came up with a fantastic idea to help predict earthquakes. ‘Everyone knows that cockroaches can sense a quake about to occur’, says a student. So I say, let’s get the government to give out millions of wee high-vis jackets to the cockroach population at large. At the first whiff of a tremor, these little legends of self preservation will take to the streets, waving their hands int air and screaming like girls as they holler ‘Run away! Run away!’ And because they’re wearing their little fluorescent jackets, everyone will see them and know that a quake is imminent.

Good idea? I thought so.

That’s it for now. Got Parents’ Day int early morning. On a Sunday.

*sighs*

Soopytwist.

Tags:
cockroaches ~ earthquakes ~ showers

Enthusiastic Porn Star!

From the case file of Twitter:

[friend who shall remain nameless:]

LMFAO, I just had to look: @TozaBoma swears like an Enthusiastic Porn Star. Ranked: 42,932nd worldwide. - http://cursebird.com/tozaboma

Woo-hoo! The magic number 42! And I'm an enthusiastic porn star! A bit like New Ruby, really....

Laters...

Screaming and squeeeing and shouting, oh my!

Just watched the season four finale of ‘Supernatural’. My first reaction?



My second reaction? A hyowj great “But that was never 40 minutes just now! Oh no no no! No it wasn’t! Oooh what a lie!”

And then I realised, while commenting on a million other people’s blogs and shite, that I should just get on an write my own drivel down. So here we are.

Danger! Danger! Spoilers Will Robinson!
Supernatural season 4 finale spoilers are contained in the following post!

First off - got to love that Zachariah dude - offering Dean burgers, beer, birds from his adolescent fantasies - even two virgins and seventy sluts, and calling him Heaven’s little Russell Crowe complete with surly attitude.

Got to love Castiel for finally growing a pair, for 'making it up as we go', for doing nasty blood-spells and choosing right from fucked up, piss-poor management - and going with whom he admires is prepared to take a chance on, and, as always, for speaking volumes with his silent eyes.

Got to love Dean for - well, being Dean, name-dropping Star Trek icons, smashing little porcelain angels, smacking Castiel in the mouth and then pretending it didn’t hurt, for talking him into getting him out of his lock-down, for doing that breaking-their-concentration-to-get-into-someone's-eye-line thing (but how does Dean know that Castiel has a lilly-white ass?), for listening to Bobby (even though I thought Bobby was wrong - me! I thought Bobby was wrong! I should have slapped myself for that!), for paying Chuck a visit to get the dirty secrets, for finally sticking that knife into Ruby, and for just being Dean fuckin’ Winchester. You got to love a character like that!

Got to love Sam, for going 'gimme a damn minute, Ruby!' like he meant it. Got to pity Sam - for being the last to know he were screwed over so fucking richly by that bitch, for believing in that fake voicemail (as arranged by Zach?), for that look on his face as he realises he's just wee-leased Woderwick, for - despite everything he's done and everything he now thinks of himself, he's still SAM (and did anyone else notice the date on his Blackberry thing was May 14th?) - for going against his instincts even though he knew he should have been listening to his brother… Purr wee lamb, he needs Dean, right? Everyone accuses Dean of being the dumb one (it’s the hair), but I’ve got to say, fuck me, does he ever see things without the slant people tend to put on it.

Got to love Ruby for dying at last. Yay!

And of course - got to love The God Who Is Eric Kripke for keeping us fucked off enough with Ruby for twenty-two episodes (not as easy as it sounds!) so that when she’s finally ganked by the brothers working together at the end, we relish it even more. Script-writing genius.

So what’s coming next? Is Lucifer seriously rising? Just who the fuck are they going to get to play him? And how’s Dean supposed to take him down? I’m guessing a swift kick to the nads and a knee-slam to the head is not going to do it this time. Zach mentioned tools - does Dean get his own fallen angel killing weapon? I’m going to go with…. Chakram. Or a pair of Chinese wind and fire wheels. Now that would be cool… Nah, I’m just messing with you - like they’d really give him any of those…

What we have to remember, kids, what we really really really have to take away with us, is that The Boys seem to be together again. At least for now. I can’t see how a little thing like Lucifer appearing (hopefully in the form of Jeffrey Combs, Bruce Campbell, David Duchovney? Or let's go for all-out hypocrisy and make it a girl - I vote for Lucy Lawless! You know it makes sense!) is going to tear them asunder. Cos as is so true in life - you have two or three blokes as mates and everything’s fan-dabby-dosey. As soon as a girl gets in the mix, it all gets fucked up. And now Ruby’s gone… We might be alright. Winchesters United against a fallen angel with a fuck-off hyowj flashlight? Bring it on!

I would like to know what happened to Anna, though. It was implied (a white light - just a white light - like the one that killed Henrikson?) but not actually shown. Was she dragged back to Heaven to get a bloody good hiding? Or is God even at home these days? From what Uriel and Zach have said, He isn’t. Not good. Is this season 5? Is this the monumental struggle they’ll deal with for twenty-two episodes, bittersweet in their kick-ass-but-every-new-one-brings-us-closer-to-the-end-ness? Who knows. I’m certainly not going to start second guessing The God Who Is Eric Kripke. Not when he’s given us four years of fucking excellent entertainment. Sam and Dean starting out at loggerheads, then realising the other was right? Then going full circle to get back together? Who can compete with that, man?

So all that remains is to go with the girlie porn. Cos that’s what’s really putting bums on seats for this finale, right? Right? Ok then:









And that’s all I’ve got to say. I think. Will need to watch it again just to make sure…

And word has it, we might get season five in the autumn - perhaps even September. Bloody marvellous!

Peach and lube, everyone! Peach and fucking lube!

Tags:
Supernatural ~ Dean Winchester ~ Jensen Ackles ~ Sam Winchester ~ Jared Padalecki ~ Eric Kripke

In anticipation of the end…

Danger! Danger! Spoilers Will Robinson!
Supernatural season 4 spoilers are contained in the following post!

So here we are, waiting impatiently for the very last episode, the season finale, of Supernatural’s fourth year - and yet also hoping it’ll never come. It’s odd, you know. It still feels like it’s only just got started. I’m sitting here, thinking I don’t want the last episode to hit in just about 35 hours, that I don’t want season four to be over. Cos it’s only got five years to run, right? The God Who Is Eric Kripke himself stated that he is only here for five years - and so is his baby. After all, who wants a show that just goes on and on and on without an end in sight? (Yes, ‘Lost’, I’m talking to you.) And it’s only been on telly a few weeks, right? Just a few weeks ago season four started up… Or did it? I’ve sat here, thinking “Season finale already? What the fuck? Where did the first 21 episodes go?”

I had this really weird flashback, acid trip-style, of:

… red angel handprints on ROWWRR! shoulders, Henrikson and Meg (and Ronald!), raw hamburgers and fire, Mary Winchester with Director Skinner, fucking ace shapeshifters, teddy bear doctors (AND TED RAIMI!) and ‘fessing up to Hell moments, finding yourself re-hymenated in a black and white monster movie, evil egging astronauts and Sam-haaayyyne (Sow-in! It’s pronounced Sow-in, dumbasses!), Sam doing the McNasty, Dean doing the luuuurve thing in the Back Seat Of Paradise, “aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa rrrrrrrrgghh - aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa rrrrgghh - that wus scary!”, littlest Benders (who aren’t Benders, cos that was season two), the Red Gym Shorts of Porn, Proto!Dean and kick-ass Wee!Sam, sirens and me going “dude, he luuurves your car and he knows all the Led Zeppelin tracks - he is SO THE SIREN!”, and “y’know all that stuff we said under the influence? Not true, right? = LIE”, and magicians and Sam going all “I don’t want to do this when I’m old” emo, Mr Myagi jokes and The Boys having an out-of-body experience fert weekend, re-appearing reapers, torturing demons (you make him suffer, Dean! You hear me!), Sammy-Sam-Samuel and his new breakfast of champions courtesy of Ruby, Zachariah thinking Dean is the sunshine of his life, (Jeremy) Carver (Ben) Edlund writing the Winchesters Gospel, Prophet Chuck being left-handed (as is Zachariah’s host), Adam Milligan making me go “What was the point in that? It would have worked fine if he hadn’t been John’s boy after all”, Castiel getting sent home to get a right bollocking, leaving his human host Jimmy to eat, eat, and er, go shag his wife, and then Dark!Sam having it out with GivingUpGivingUpGivingAFuck!Dean before Dean goes all John and tells him that if he does piss off, he should never, ever come back…


And then I’ve went “oh yeah, that’s where the first 21 episodes went… What a ride! If this were a Magic Fingers machine, every 25c would cost 50 bucks!”

So all I have to say is….

Dean! Kick Sam’s ass!
Do it! Do it!
He’s being a twat! He deserves it!
Only you can save the world!
ALL THEIR DARK!SAM ARE BELONG TO US!

And if that doesn’t galvanise you, take a quick squiz at the masters of topical humour: Kickin’ Ass. And I’d also like to point out that I’m not the only one who thinks the great grudge match that will be Sam v Dean should be televised on Pay-Per-View.

It’s going to be a looooooong 35 hours. Oop - 34 now. I haven’t been this on edge since John Simm turned up as The Master and tried to force David Doctor Ten Tennant into regenerating…

And notice, I still don’t know the name of the season finale…

LATE EDIT: Just added this to the Buckets Of Crazy. Cos I like to play with Photoshop, apparently.

Soopytwist.

* "All your base are belong to us" - Explanation here!

Tags:
Supernatural ~ Dean Winchester ~ Jensen Ackles ~ Sam Winchester ~ Jared Padalecki ~ Hugh Laurie ~ Stephen Fry ~ A Bit Of Fry And Laurie

REALLY?

Danger! Danger! Spoilers Will Robinson!
Supernatural season 4 episode 21 spoilers are contained in the following post!

I loved it. I really, really, REALLY loved this episode. You have to understand that first. But see how I didn’t put the name of the episode in there? Do you know what’s REALLY FREAKING ME OUT? That I didn’t know the name of the episode before it started, but I was daydreaming at work and I went “Y’know, if I were writing the penultimate episode, I’d call it THIS”. And then I’ve gone home, sat down and watched the episode, and fuck me, but it had the same name on it.

Freaked. Out.

Anyway, cos of having to watch the episode twice (IT WAS THAT GOOD!), I’d like to dedicate a song to Sammy. Sammy, if you’re out there… HAVE IT!

All this talk of getting old
It’s getting me down my love
Like a cat in a bag, waiting to drown
This time I’m comin’ down

And I hope you’re thinking of me
As you lay down on your side
Now the drugs don’t work
They just make you worse
But I know I’ll see your face again
Now the drugs don’t work
They just make you worse
But I know I’ll see your face again

But I know I’m on a losing streak
As I passed down my old street
And if you wanna show
Then just let me know and I’ll sing in your ear again

Now the drugs don’t work
They just make you worse
But I know I’ll see your face again

‘Cos baby, ooh--
If heaven calls, I’m coming too
Just like you said:
You leave my life, I’m better off dead

Yeah, I know I'll see your face again

I’m never going down, I’m never coming down
No more, no more, no more, no more, no more …

Tags:
Supernatural ~ Sam Winchester ~ Jared Padalecki ~ the Verve ~ Richard Ashcroft

*wibble*

Is it hot in here? Or is that a Shelby Mustang GT500KR?



And while we’re on the subject of wibbling, is it a crime how much I’m enjoying my new swivel-everything, up-and-downy adjustable, tilt-any-way-you-want-darlin’ chair? While watching season two of ‘Burn Notice’? I’m sorry, but Jeffrey Donovan is fucking ace - and Bruce Campbell riding shotgun? Talk about no-brainer. (And just fert record: I like Fee!)



Tags:
Mustang ~ Burn Notice ~ Jeffrey Donovan ~ the mighty BC! ~ Gabrielle Anwar