Tuesday, 18 April 2006

Taxi Drivers, eh.

What a lovely shot o Christian Bale that is ~ pity it's nowt to do wi today's post… Just nice to look at, eh.

Got int taxi t'other night, pretty much three sheets t'wind, asking the driver very politely (knowing I were a bit mullered ~ or Mullah'd, whatever) for Sands Street. He obliged, but barely a minute went by 'fore he felt he had to comment on me Chinese.

Odd that he thinks that, cos I can say a street name, I'm completely fluent, thinks I, but then thoroughly blunt my entire point by carrying on a conversation about foreigners speaking Chinese anyway.
Nice to hear someone trying to speak to locals, says he.
I always do, but normally in English, says I.
Why use English when you can speak Chinese? says he.
Because, says I, wondering if I really want to get into it at 1am with only two street blocks to go 'fore home, even if I walk into a place and start asking fer't menu in Chinese, they bring me the English one. Habit, I s'pose.
He started laffing, and to being wi I thought "screw you, mate,", then I had to see't funny side. Until he said he thought I were American. That kinda put a downer on things, and I were just assessing the odds of us both living if I smacked the back of his head in while doing forty mile an hour, when he said he were just guessing cos he hadn't heard me speak English. And anyway, even if he had, he couldn't tell the difference as his English wont too great anyway.

The upshot was, it didn't come to handbags at dawn seeing as how I forgave im an that, and eventually I paid im and got out, no trouble, and swayed all't way home. I were just thinking I could go one whole entry wi'owt mentioning Sharpe, but no, cos I've just thought of a blinder that summed up how lovely and warm-drunk I was:
Colonel: You sway, sir!
Lieutenant: Invariably sir… I seem to catch the wind more than most, on account of my natural willowiness.

Cue me whistling me way up't stairs an wondering if there were any more vodka in the freezer.

Still waiting fer me copies of Life On Mars from England, but I can wait… after all, I've seen't series already, I know how fab it is. I'm just waiting for DCI Gene Hunt's amazing Huntisms… I was recently reminded o this one:
Sam: A Black Car?
Leonard: A Ford... Granada
Sam: Registration?
Leonard: E… Dunno.
Gene: Sorry ~ was that like you saying the letter E and you don't know the rest, or was that like you saying..."Eee, I dunno!

Class, bring ont DVD! Anyway, that's me done, an as I've just paid me electric bill online and done all't paperwork I'm supposed to have done already, I think I'll nip out and see if I can't find Syriana int cinema.

Peach and lube.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~



American??? Ee by 'eck lad 'ave yer not 'erd a Texas accent like this'n before then? Thas not reet gud at geography then is thi? Thas reet, Texas. Jus next to 'Omebase off'v Oldham 'igh street.

Soupdragon said...

Shit! Do you moonlight as a Joe Baxi man then? (1) How come you knew he'd got Germany and Texas mixed up, and (2) How did you know I'm from Oldham???

Er, thank for reading. I think, she says, looking over her shoulder fearfully...


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