ST: DIS 3x02: I-Yensch, You-Yensch

Warning! Danger, Will Robinson!

Here be SPOILERS for Star Trek Discovery series 3 episode 2!

Last week we had what I felt was a TNG mixed with ST: Beyond episode. It was brilliant, and since I’ve watched it again I still like everything that went down. Now we get to the follow-up - last week was all Michael and what she was up to; this week is the crew of the Discovery’s turn.

We pick up where we left off; they made it through the wormhole but in a Farscape moment they’ve lost control and end up ploughing headlong through a couple of miniature moon-type bodies. Eventually they meet the planet below much faster and rougher than they’d like, and to all intents and purposes are dead in the water. They need tech stuff they don’t have to get their comms and pretty much everything back up and running - so here we go, let’s take an away team out to the nearby settlement and barter for what we need.

Saru is awesome the whole episode. He’s a real brick in this and I think a much better Captain than he ever thought possible. He’s commanding, confident, and downright fantastic. I’d vote for him.

Poor Detmer is somewhat shell-shocked. Or is it something deeper? She brought the ship in, she guided them down and her piloting skills are celebrated. But she’s not feeling it - or much of anything, it seems, apart from maybe horror at seeing how many people are currently in sickbay and either dead or nearly there due to what she must assume is a result of her flying.

Saru and Tilly’s bartering aside (some fantastic aliens new to me and Ensign Tilly being a good choice as a member of the First Contact team), shit hits the fan in a Farscape way when all you want is to do a trade so you can get the hell out of there. Again Saru is brilliant as a leader of people, and the locals on the planet realise he is the Starfleet that they thought extinct. Again we hear that “we knew you’d come back” - it seems since The Burn at least 120 years before, some people have harboured hope that the Federation wasn’t completely destroyed. Paul and Hugh seem to be working things out, and although Georgiou is aggressively attempting to get everything she needs personally and screw everyone else bar maybe Michael, at the moment her needs are aligning with that of the rest of the crew. Jett Reno is still a favourite with me due to her wit and deadpan delivery, even when she is giving people a pep talk that cuts through the grease. Even poor Ensign Gene HAZMAT who was left to shovel up what was left of Leland made me smile.

Slowly but surely, Saru and Tilly realise how far ahead some of the tech is around them, and the barter situation that was going so well turns into a newcomers-at-gunpoint situation. It seems our friend Book from episode 1 is not a typical courier at all (maybe he was pretending to be a courier at the Mercantile to cover his species-rescuing ways), as every other one we’ve met so far including this new Zareh is a complete arsehole. He’s also a smart one, who figures out they’ve travelled in time and are also basically helpless. Zareh proves just how much of a dick he is, and it looks like everything is about to go incredibly Pete Tong.

In other news, it seems the Tellerites are thriving as they control an exchange, which means along with the Orions and Andorians, we have an uneasy balance of power. And then Zareh calls Saru something interesting - a “V’draysh” Captain. Apparently this was the same word used in Short Treks (“Calypso”) - a word shortened from its original for ease, like “going to” ending up “gonna”. In this case it’s short for “Federation”.

Enter Georgiou with typical intent to throw a spanner in the works, and you have your action and adventure that ends up freeing the V’draysh types and emancipating the locals. All that remains is to get their newly fixed tech back to the ship before its eaten by the planet’s ravenous parasitic ice - and be totally shocked as they finally meet up with Michael.

I enjoyed this episode - a lot. It was a massive crew effort and it’s set up such possibilities that I can’t wait to see what’s coming next. We have new worlds, capacity for new or evolved alien races, new situations and what is beginning to feel like a sprawling universe of adventures to fall into.

At times it felt like a good old-fashioned Farscape episode, and that’s a complete surprise to me as Farscape was always the anti-Star Trek. However it works well here, and with a true Star Trek ending we know we’re in good hands.

That’s all the news that’s fit to print, I think.

Soopytwist, everyone.

ST: DIS 3x01: The more things change, the more they stay the same

Warning! Danger, Will Robinson!

Here be SPOILERS for Star Trek Discovery series 3 episode 1!

I sat down the other night and rewatched the two-parter of Star Trek Discovery that ended season two, just so I would remember where we were all up to.

And do you know what? It made me miss ST: DIS all over again. The way they played the long game - again - to bring us everything we needed for the actual finale was just as impressive this time around as it was the first time I watched it. Season one had its own long game - the story of Lorca that we didn’t know we needed. Season two gave us a new mystery and its resolution. I liked how it ended up and where it left everyone, because now everything can be new again. Let me explain:

One gripe I had about the concept of ST: DIS was that it was set before Kirk’s time. As with the other most recent series up to that point, Enterprise, we were looking back rather than looking forward. I wasn’t overly thrilled with this, as they would have to observe certain canon and established events. I would have been happier if it happened some time after Voyager and DS9 ended, as that would put us the furthest into the future. Also, looking back is not what Star Trek is about - it’s supposed to be about moving forward. Forward motion, after all, is all there really is at the end of the day.

Now here we are with season three, and it looks like my gripe has been addressed: we’re now in the year 3188, which I believe makes it the furthest Star Trek has ever gone forward.

In short? I liked this episode - liked it a lot. It felt like a TNG plot inside a Star Trek Beyond story. Again, let me explain:

We start off with a very Beyond scenario - Burnham and the crew have been successful, but now she is cut off from not just everyone she has ever known, but everything that was ever familiar. She is 930 years in the future where things must have changed (think for example about the difference between the the place now called the UK in 2020 and how it was in 1090). She’s trying to find her ship and her crew - she has no clue if they’re in her time, or if they even survived the wormhole that brought her 930 years into the future. She “meets” Book, and gives him a pretty good Captain James T Chris Pine Kirk speech about intention and needing help. She gradually finds herself and her determination, gets back to what makes her her, and so her adventure becomes trying to not only find herself and her ship, but the Federation itself.

Book, meanwhile, is having his own TNG episode. He appears to be a courier who is not at all fazed by having to “steal” cargo from other couriers. This random woman who falls out of a wormhole breaks his ship, forcing him to work with her to get what he needs to fix it. We find out he has a rather expensive, much sought after cargo, and yet he doesn’t want anyone calling it “cargo”, because it doesn’t belong to anyone. At this point anyone who’s ever seen a Star Trek episode knows that the cargo is probably alive, presumably sentient, and Book might not be what he appears. We are rewarded by seeing that he stole the cargo to deliver it to a different place entirely - in actuality he’s rescued a member of an endangered sentient species from becoming dinner, repatriating it to a sanctuary planet which seems to be a massive wildlife preserve bent on letting them just live free and unencumbered.

After a lot of shenanigans including drugs, fights, tech and some great set pieces, Burnham finds one Starfleet contact that she can ask for help in finding the Discovery. But all is not what it seems, and again she is left to try to cling to what she believes Starfleet and the Federation are, in the face of everyone and everything telling her that there is nothing left to cling to.

She finds people to reach out to, she finds solace in the familiar, comfort in knowing there are others who believe as she does, and to borrow a line from Beyond, she finds she still believes in “strength in unity”.

Big fan of this episode. Book is set up to be an interesting mystery, and the possibilities for his story are endless. Burnham is alone but she’s more determined than ever, and we’ve already seen a new side of her during this episode. Shout out to Aditya Sahil, who was the quiet, resolute figure of a Starfleet officer - without actually being a Starfleet officer. Interesting to note that Twitter has already decided he’s the cinnamon roll in all this and must be protected at all costs. I cannot disagree.

The editing was fantastic, especially when Burnham is drugged, and the cinematography (is that Iceland?) was stark, beautiful, peaceful - and very well shot. The FX shots were not lacking, and the scenes in the Mercantile reminded me of a bazaar you might find in Farscape. We had a return to interesting Star Trek races - Andorians, Orions - even a Lurian who looked like Morn! Cosmo, the other courier, used a language that reminded me of Danny Pudi’s character from Beyond. It would be interesting to find out if in fact it was the same language.

All in all, this was a brilliant start that filled me with the same love for Star Trek as many other episodes - it had the optimism, the drive, the characters, the tech. - all the parts I love in a good Star Trek episode. I for one really hope it continues in the same vein. I want to see more of this 32nd century and how everyone in it is surviving, what The Burn is all about and how Burnham can (hopefully) do something about it. I also think we need the ship back, but I'm sure (mostly because I've seen the trailers) that everything will get sorted in the end. You know what? I’m more than happy to watch that unfold week by week.

Peach and lube, everyone. Peach and frelling lube.

On endings

No spoilers here, but I need to take stock of all the things I’m losing, or have lost, in the TV and film world.

Supernatural

With the news that season 15 would be its last, this show has spiralled out of the singular fandom, charities and help groups it had and erupted into world domination; those who watch it are fearful of the end of season 15, and those who don’t are dimly aware something is coming but have no clue of the repercussions.

The season 14 finale gave us everything I wanted in that we come full circle; everything the boys have achieved over the seasons may have been undone and now we have season 15 as either a clean-up or a meltdown. Who can say what it will be? Well the writers, obviously - but writers lie. I know. I’ve met them. I am one. What lies beyond this wonderfully meta finale is anyone’s guess and I can’t wait to see what happens. Even though every episode will bring us closer to the Actual End, I know I’ll be prioritising this show over all others and enjoying it whilst I can.

The Star Trek: Deep Space Nine documentary: What We Left Behind

Where do we start? I was an Indiegogo backer back in the day, and now the documentary is finally done and dusted, we get to see it before the north American cinema release (and blu ray for the rest of us). For those of us just joining us, this was a crowd-funded celebration doc for the 25th anniversary of DS9. All the other Star Trek franchises were hyped and re-released and celebrated by CBS/Paramount either at anniversary dates or just in the cause of making more money. DS9, again treated like the bastard child it was, was of course snubbed. So Ira Steven Behr and a load of others got together to make their own celebration doc, and here it is. We have writers, artists, network people, actors, characters - everything is in here. We have actors reading the original hate mail received by the writers in 1993 when the show first aired (think Mean Tweets but longer and much, much more hateful), very frank conversations about people and actors and make-up, some HD renderings of some of the best moments of DS9, and some special appearances that will make you squee and clap and miss DS9 all over again.

Those were the Star Trek years, indeed.

With my backer’s bundle I got access to an early streaming version of the doc, and I have to say now that I’ve watched it twice it’s awesome. All that remains is for CBS to proper convert the entire 7 seasons to HD/blu ray so that when I binge watch it again (and I will, for perhaps the 4th time in its entirety) it’ll look more like Star Trek and less like a VHS bootleg. I mean come on - have you seen it on Netflix? It looks like a worn-out VHS copy and I’m not even joking. As one of the best, most progressive, and most important Treks, it deserves better.

Anyway, that aside, it brings me back to wondering if, 2 years from now when Supernatural has been off the air for 12 months and I miss is, if I’ll be rewatching it the same as I do DS9. Something tells me yes.

Avengers: Endgame

Wow. Just wow. I know everyone else is going off like a frog in a sock about this, but I have a major problem with one element that makes me go NOPE. It feels like lazy writing and I have to be honest, it makes no sense and it’s not fair to the characters involved. I don’t mean the other heavyweights in this, I mean the character they did it to. I can’t go into details but at some point I fucking will and it won’t be pretty. There’s also the little wrinkle of a certain character not ending up how I’d like, and the fact that they didn’t fucking deserve it, and the moment of the Mary Sue pretending that the mere mention of one gay person once in the background means that Marvel is all LGBTQ+ friendly now. Not enough, dumbasses; not nearly enough. And how you shat on a few characters? Not cool, Russo brothers, not cool.

I’m mostly ok with how it turned out though, however I would have cut about 20 minutes out of it and some characters weren’t in it nearly enough. It’s always sad to see the end of an era, and everything from the moment we first saw Tony Stark build a Mark I suit is pretty much brought to a close. There are other, Tier 2 Avengers / non-Avengers movies coming out, but for right now, it’s ok for the Tier 1 Marvel Avengers stories to end like this.

Gotham

And so to the 5 season saga of how everyone came to be villains, heroes and Big Names in Gotham City. The season and indeed series finale, continuing a theme here, gave us everything we needed. With its final episode the series made good on the promise that was made to us in the opening scenes of the very first episode, when young Bruce Wayne’s parents were killed in an alleyway. We have all our major players, we have our main characters, and we even have all our second tier characters in place so that, in line with the bulk of canon, they can go on to become the other characters in comics and DCU movies.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; it’s a great, great shame that they don’t make DC movies the same way they made this DC series. Somewhere between Man of Steel and Legends of Tomorrow, Gotham knew what it was and never forgot it. It gave us humour through straight-faced characters who were not ashamed to be super villains or superheroes; it gave us some bizarre and dare I say it, batshit-crazy plot lines - but it never stopped believing in itself. It knew what it was and it didn’t shy away from it. The writers dared to go with frankly quite unbelievable storylines at times, but hey, this is a show about normal people gradually being turned into super names of all kinds, and at some point you have to just accept the fact that if other comic studios can have people turning into giant green rage monsters, then others can have humans without superpowers who are just trying to take over a city and if a vat of chemicals gets in the way, then ok, we roll with it.

Fun, balls-to-the-wall incredible and ‘out there’, it was a good series and I’ll miss it next week when it’s not there. I hope DC take note; this was the best of their TV fare.

And that’s all the endings that I want to talk about. There are others, but not the TV or movie kind. I’ll get to those, but another day.

Peach and lube, everyone. Peach and lube.

Star Trek Discovery - What if?

It’s time for some fanfiction. Because there was this time, and then there was this time…

Title: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Vulcan

Rated T/Teen & Up for some naughty language, some violence and conduct unbecoming, and maybe a frying pan.

Summary:
In the dying moments of S01xE15, the Discovery is ordered to Vulcan but gets side-tracked. What if they keep getting side-tracked so they have to keep their Acting Captain for the whole of season 2? Yes please! This is a series of one-shots detailing just that. SPOILERS for season 1 only. For those about to read, I salute you.

Disclaimer: 
I do not own nor make any profit from Star Trek in any of its forms, franchises or characters. This is all for fun, not for profit. Unless you add me to any favourites lists or leave reviews/comments.

Linky-link-link: HERE at An Archive of Our Own under my name TozaBoma (because they don’t re-edit your stuff later) and HERE at Fanfiction dot net under my name Mardy Lass.

If you even visit the page, I thank you.

Star Trek Discovery 1x15 - a season finale and a half

Warning! Danger, Will Robinson!
Here be SPOILERS for Star Trek Discovery series 1 episode 15!

Where do we start with this episode, Will You Take My Hand? Ceti eels, bread and circuses, Trills and Betazoids - it was all in here. Double-crosses - the first Prime Directive moment? - familiar actors, Orions, Qo’noS markets and dirty tattoo parlours. What didn’t this episode have?

I have to say I liked the twist to this. I honestly thought there was going to be a completely different ending - and no, I’m not talking about the distress signal. I know hundreds of people will be rushing to look up Captain Christopher Pike and find out what he was doing wandering around the Alpha Quadrant around the year 2255, but I’m more interested in how the only mutineer on the ship managed to have the backing of the entire crew to stage another mutiny right there, right then, if Admiral Cornwell didn’t back down from her desperate plan.

Also: giving the detonator to the bomb to the klingon prisoner was inspiring but also perhaps the best bit of Prime Directive I think I’ve seen on Discovery. Not interfering with the internal struggles literally on the homeworld of another race by handing over your weapon of mass distruction is basically surrendering and withdrawing to let them sort it out themselves. They have, of course, tipped the outcome in favour of L’Rell, but what choice did they have?

I loved the markets and the fact that, as Burnham says, this is life. It’s people getting on with it, whether it’s in the Orion quarter or milling around the free-flowing streets. It may have been filmed to look a little dark (literally - is it ever daytime?) and dingy, but the signs, the people, the things they were doing in the background - they were all fascinating. Maybe it’s a human thing to want it well-lit all the time and I should get over it.

I did notice the young (?) Trill lady getting her tattoos done and for a moment I really hoped it was Emony Dax. She didn’t really have any cause to be hanging around Qo’noS at all, never mind the Orion quarter, but I can’t help hoping it was. It’s very closed-minded of me - it could have been any one of several million joined or unjoined Trills, I know. I’m basically doing the same as every person who says ‘where are you from?’ and when you say your country they say ‘I know someone there called X - do you know them?’. But I just miss DS9 and while Discovery is excellent in every way, it’s still neck-and-neck with DS9 in my heart. I can’t help it.

There was a lot to think about with Burnham and her past with klingons; we were never told the exact details of how and why her parents came to be dead, but this spelt it out and the energy of the gaming place was infectious, even through a TV screen. I was not at all surprised that Tyler managed to insert himself so easily in a gambling den full of klingons - I was more worried that he wouldn’t leave. Well, worried is a stretch. More like hoping something in him would switch him with Voq and he would assert himself. I know that’s not on the cards, but again I held out hope. The fact that Tyler has now escaped a life of lab testing, of suspicion and pity from well-meaning Federation people is crafty. I know it’s a bit drastic, going into the heart of klingon territory and culture to avoid a few overly polite humans, but part of me thinks he remembers how Voq saw it and whatever part of him was Tyler liked it. I wouldn’t blame him if he just wanted a good old-fashioned klingon knees-up, to be honest. He needs it, with what he’s been through.

L’Rell - what now for the ‘nothing’ that nobody wanted? And now she has her pet human - sorry, ex-klingon - with her, how will she tighten the leash on the other houses and keep order? As long as she holds the planet to ransom, she’s good. But that makes her a target and it’s going to be hard to keep the planet spinning while at the same time using it as a bargaining chip to keep the houses in line. At least now her house can come out of hiding - if there’s anyone left.

I actually enjoyed the end speech at what I assume was Starfleet Headquarters. Nice that everyone got a medal - and Tilly finally an Ensign! YES! It’s about time! She’s been through a lot this series (not least of all getting high with the dude who was in the original series as Balok, as the dude under the stairs who helped Dax find her ‘pin’ in DS9, and one of the Ferengi hustlers in Enterprise. He certainly gets around) and it’s about time this was recognised. One final touch I really liked - a posthumous medal for Medical Officer Hugh Culber. Gone but not forgotten.

And so to the very end - the distress call from one USS Enterprise. Very interesting indeed - where have they been during the klingon war and how intact are they? As an aside; I know Commander Spock was First Officer of the Enterprise under Captain Pike in the original timeline but he can’t be in this one - if this is 5 - 10 years before Kirk gets the Enterprise in the Kelvin timeline (which this appears to be), then he couldn’t have been serving on the Enterprise at this time - he would have been at the Academy, designing the Kobayashi Maru and going through his own Starfleet training. But if we do see Spock, it has to be Zachary Quinto or it’s all off. After all, he’s the best not-Spock who ever Spock’d.

Admiral Cornwell mentioned that they were off to get their new captain (someone not on Earth, then?) before the distress signal went off. I hope that in season 2 there’s a running gag whereby every time they try to get to that captain to pick them up, they get side tracked and Saru ends up ‘acting captain’ for the entire season. That would make me happy.

Do you know what? This whole season has made me happy. It had a few dips here and there, and there were times I really wanted certain characters to die, but on the whole it’s been a rollercoaster and I’ve really warmed to a lot of characters. I’ve loved the twists and the turns, and I’ve enjoyed the way they crafted something so carefully that it never occurred to you to question it until it was too late. All in all, this has been a bang-up season 1 to any series, and to have it as our new Star Trek has been even better. To begin with I was just relieved it wasn’t shit - now I’m happily calling it my second-favourite series (although with time I don’t know how that will change).

It may have taken 14 years to get a new Star Trek on TV, but it’s here and I bloody hope it’s here to stay. If this cancel this now, we riot.

Peach and lube, everyone. Peach and frelling lube.

Star Trek Discovery 1x14 - Don’t Care Was Made to Care

Warning! Danger, Will Robinson!
Here be SPOILERS for Star Trek Discovery series 1 episode 14!

Let us climb down from the heady heights of episode 13 for just a moment: Mirror!Lorca is dead, Cornwell is convinced Prime!Lorca was probably killed shortly after ending up in the Mirror Universe, and Emperor Pippa has been kidnapped and taken to the Prime Universe. In what is basically Farscape levels of holy shit how are we not dead?-ness, the Discovery is intact, most of her crew are too, and they’ve got intel needed to help defeat cloaked klingon ships. The fact that they’re 9 months late getting back and most of Starfleet has been decimated is like that moment when you think Monday is over and then a catastrophe happens and abruptly - and rather rudely - you can see yourself putting in 6 hours of messy, horrible overtime just to avoid Tuesday being your worst nightmare.

First off, what are we grateful for? Tilly. Tilly continues to be awesome. She’s doing her job and is very good at it, while at the same time spreading peace, love and understanding wherever she goes. She’s still the awkward, shy person who talks too much, but now she’s listened to. Because people know she’s awesome. Can she finally have a field commission to Ensign now?

We’re also grateful that Emperor Pippa has crossed over - oh yes. Who else to command a ship to go to war? I can see the fact that Admiral Cornwell has lied to everyone - blatantly - by introducing her as Prime!Georgiou is infuriating to both Acting Captain Saru (does he go back to being Number One now?) and Specialist Burnham - the only two who know her real identity apart from Cornwell and the random cool-haired dude running the transporter room. Emperor Pippa is devious, must have an ulterior motive, and ready to shiv the first person who says no to her - what’s not to like? Weyoun is alive and well in the writer’s room and it makes me smile.

Ash Tyler. Hmm. Not really feeling it. He’s a bit of a non-entity to me and especially now as he’s trying to find if he actually is anyone because Voq’s ‘gone’. Do we believe he’s really gone? I’m 50% sure that I’m not sure on that one. The thing is, I don’t care to try to trust Tyler because I just don’t find the character compelling. Sorry, Tyler fans. He should be epic - first an MIA officer who busted out of a klingon prison with a random Captain, then a spy, then a really deep undercover spy and love interest… But something in me just Does Not Care. I don’t know why.

Species re-assignment surgery - how do we feel about that? It was described as voluntary, but the ‘re-assignment’ word makes my skin crawl. I don’t know why - maybe it’s politicians in our world going on about re-assignment to ‘help’ people be something less than they are, like not gay or not needing to transition to another gender. I think that’s the connotation I place on it - something meted out by the dictatorship of an all-powerful, closed-minded government. The way the klingons seem to use it is different though - there’s a lot to be said for them mentioning it was ‘voluntary’. It wasn’t made out to sound particularly pretty, and it certainly didn’t seem it. Tyler talking about some of the procedures done to ‘him’ as Voq were harrowing, but it makes me wish Voq had survived, not Tyler. I know the sci-fi ‘what is the measure of a man? thing with human-looking Tyler actually being an ex-klingon in a human meatsuit is exciting and can be milked for a lot of metaphors. However part of me really wants Voq to re-emerge and assert control, only to find in the end that he’s better off biding his time and then taking the klingon houses by storm, conquering all of them and becoming the Chancellor in charge at last. And when it comes down to it, he won’t destroy the Discovery and everyone aboard because it was where he was able to execute his plans - and he has the humans to thank for his shelter as he worked on his top secret plot with L’Rell.

I do agree with Burnham saying she can’t forget how he tried to kill her - no matter who was ‘in there’ when he was trying it. I also liked Stamets’ face as he confronted Tyler in the corridor. I thought Stamets took Culber’s death too easily, but I see now he’s just being very professional. However, I would not leave those two in a locked turbolift for any length of time. I get the feeling Stamets would start talking until Tyler just leapt out of a window. Which wouldn’t be the worst thing.

Poor L’Rell in confinement is still getting over losing Voq, it seems - or is she? She learns that klingons have pretty much floored the Federation and she gloats for a little, but how much does she want a disordered, competitive bunch of scrapper clans warring it out instead of a mighty Empire? She’s already proven she will go to great lengths to get what she wants, so how will she spin this to get free and somehow influence what the klingons around her will do? It seems she doesn’t care either way what happens to herself as long as the humans see her laughing as the puny things die - but is that really how she feels?

I like that Admiral Cornwell gets to stand on the bridge and say FIRE, but it’s to launch terraforming pods that will trigger a spore bloom, not to destroy anything. I think Picard would have enjoyed being there. For her, I guess, it’s a reversal of the past 9 months - something is being created instead of destroyed. As she’s the only one, bar Emperor Pippa, who has had recent and harrowing dealings with full-blown war, it must be something of a life preserver to see something being created at last. After 9 months of fighting and blood and losing ships and starbases, here's something she can care about - new spores in a lovely shade of victorious science.

I like the teamwork we’re getting now that Lorca is gone; it’s like his my way or the high way style of command has gone out of the window - or should I say through the floor - with him. Saru’s style of asking and thinking about it, of co-ordinating the team instead of keeping people in the dark - it’s much more Starfleet. I like the dynamics of the ship now - (Vice) Admiral Cornwell, Specialist Burnham, Acting Captain Saru, Lieutenant Stamets, Lieutenant Keyla Detmar, Lieutenant Rhys, Lieutenant Commander Airiam, Lieutenant Owosekun, “random communications officer man” Bryce - find me a straight white dude in there. I’ll wait. Oh look what they did! They made people interested in the story, in the characters, without needing more than 1 of them! I’m not saying get rid of them like they’re a bad thing, I’m just saying it makes a nice change to look around a bridge and see people who are not straight white dudes. I haven’t seen such a divergence from the Kirk-Spock-Bones, Picard-Riker-Data triumvirate since the Sisko-Kira-Dax of DS9.

But I digress. Now we have a battle plan with a possibly double-crossing Mirror Universe Terran as the Federation’s last hope to either win the war with the klingons or at least bring it to a stalemate. To be honest, I like Emperor Pippa’s chances; she’s ruthless, she’s in it to win, and she knows how to beat down a bigger opponent. She has little wiggle room here - but, lest we forget, though she be but ‘little’, she is fierce. I’m not mad about Cornwell going off the res by parading her as Prime!Georgiou, but Needs Must - something she may be learning from Emperor Pippa herself.

Quick shout-out before we go - I like the statement that Captain Archer and the crew of the NX-01 Enterprise were the last Starfleet people to see Qo’noS a hundred years before Discovery. Like it a lot.

If only the next Star Trek film could sway the timeline back to its original path (“Time has an elastic quality, after all” - as Harvey/Scorpius once said) so we can then bring in something of DS9, that would be epic.

I think that’s all I’ve got, so I’ll love you and leave you.

Peach and lube, people. Peach and frelling lube.

Star Trek Discovery 1x13 - a return to Starfleet

Warning! Danger, Will Robinson!
Here be SPOILERS for Star Trek: Discovery series 1 episode 13!

A.K.A. the speech-fight to the death episode.

The first fight we get is poor Michael Burnham trying to reason with the Emperor and being summarily cut off - so she makes a break for it, taking weapons with her.

Then we do a little Star Trek by turning one of real life’s problems into a sci-fi conundrum, for people to ponder on a “hypothetical” level: the spore engine on the ISS Charon is blocking the mycelial network, I guess like a dam, and using its power for the ship. However, this is harming the network and spreading infection that the network cannot heal itself from without enough of a break; as Acting Captain Saru points out, it’s not sustainable. (On a side note, I thought that if you have the highest rank on the ship and therefore have to take control, you are automatically addressed as ‘captain’ anyway. Whatever - he has assumed command and he’s good at it. If only pilot-episode-Saru could see him now.) At some point the network will be overcome and collapse and die. This will cause all of its routes and connections to also die - and the destinations that are attached to it. Basically it’s the end of all life in all universes - the entire multiverse, as Stamets puts it, for all time. Ouch.

Stamets: [Damming the mycelial network provides them with] enough power to run their city-sized ship, and power weapons that can destroy a planet.
Airiam: As they did on Harlac.
Saru: How can a people be so short-sighted?
Stamets: The Terrans are egotistical enough to believe that they can replenish this resource before it collapses.

Yikes. Not sure if he’s alluding to global warming caused by people strip-mining Earth for fossil fuels or just talking crazy.

And then in barges Mirror!Lorca, all gung ho for preserving humans as their own people, their own race. Ironically, isn’t he proposing what the klingons did at the beginning of this season? He asks everyone to renounce Emperor Georgiou and follow him instead, to - and I quote - build “a future where we together will make the Empire glorious again.” He’s despotic, utterly racist and completely in need of a massive attitude re-adjustment. This is my Mirror!Lorca, and he doesn’t disappoint. Although at this point I’m also rooting for Georgiou. I haven’t been this conflicted since Dukat vs Weyoun.

When Emperor ‘Pippa’ gets to face-off with Lorca, we get a cheeky red-Borg-targeting-in-the-dark moment from weapons - love it. And here’s the second fight of the show - guns blazing, people being vaporised left, right and centre. Some famous mirror-faces die here, but not the one I really wanted (Landry - sorry, but no, I don't trust you). Georgiou escapes using an emergency temporal shift - sorry, an emergency transport. Crafty! While they’re doing this, Burnham is hot-wiring the Charon’s comms to contact Saru and spill everything. Stamets works it out, Tilly does the math, and Saru calls Burnham ‘my friend’ and refuses to leave without her. Stamets updates her about the Charon’s super-mycelial reactor (love that name) and they form a plan to take it out - so that the network can heal itself. Cut to a plot point - the opening to the living core of the mycelial network is right in front of the throne. Hmm, have to remember that one.

By the way - love the use of the TOS chirps for the communicators and also the tricorder sounds. Awesome.

Lorca cements his villainy by giving Burnham a speech on how the Federation is a social experiment doomed to failure, that “every species, every choice, every opinion is not equal, no matter how much they want it to be.” He really does do his best to sway her to his side - his entire speech is geared toward telling her how amazing she is and how she’s the only one who can help him bring order to this universe. Hmm - makes you wonder what he did to get rid of the Mirror!Burnham, doesn’t it?

Burnham is having none of it, and after showing off her hacking skills she then shows off her intuition skills by tracking down Emperor Pippa - whose bracelet is supposed to keep her life signs undetectable. I’m sure that will come up later in the series. Burnham gives her the speech this time, basically pledging her loyalty to the idea of neither of them dying and Lorca getting his teeth kicked in. Her line of “Lorca believes destiny brought me to him - he doesn’t need to tell me what my future is. I’m responsible for forging my own path - we all are” is a good one, I have to say. Burnham manages to convince the Emperor by giving her the old Picard chestnut of “the line must be drawn here”, and the Emperor is impressed enough to go with it. I mean hey, why not? I’m sure she was wondering just how she was going to get out of this one before Burnham came in anyway. How can you be sure anyone is still loyal to you on that ship?

Stamets and the engineering crew have bad news; in order to destroy the ISS Charon’s super-mycelial reactor the Discovery and everyone on it will be sacrificed. What do the crew do? First they look worried. Then it’s revealed they’re worried because they can’t be sure their sacrifice will actually destroy the reactor. But hey, this isn’t Star Trek without a Kobayashi Maru, right? Saru gives a bloody good speech and does not accept this no-win scenario. Somewhere in Iowa young Jim Kirk’s ears are burning, I’m sure. But this is fight number three: the fight to survive through science and generally being an awesome crew that works together.

Burnham’s plan to get closer to Lorca works - she does the ‘taking in her colleague as a prisoner’ trope and Lorca’s eyes light up like he’s been injected with ketracel white. He’s trying to be cautious, taking her visible weapon from her, but he’s still just itching to accept Burnham into his dirty dozen of rebels and wannabe Empire centurions. He’s bursting with excitement - look at his face. He certainly is a villain I enjoy not liking. Dukat indeed.

Tilly comes up with a way to circumvent their Kobayashi Maru, and Stamets hits his stride and blinds everyone with science - and even thanks her for her enthusiasm and awesomeness (a stark difference to his attitude toward her at the beginning of the season). Isn’t it time she was granted a field commission now? At least to Ensign? He gives her the honour of explaining their crazy plan to the captain. Ngaw.

When the Discovery does catch up with the Charon a second plan goes into action; while Lorca is gloating about how he built them into a great team of formidable soldiers under his expert leadership, Saru is basically your toneless, unflappable captain doing his: “yeah mate, not interested in you to be honest” in return. When Lorca tells him Burnham’s staying behind in exchange for their lives, his calm retort of “I need to hear that from her - you are not a reliable source” made me clap and appreciate Saru even more than I do already. Burnham lays the trap and gives him the signal and the throne room of the Charon goes into balls-to-the-wall-Michelle-Yeoh-fight mode. Burnham holds her own with presumably Vulcan martial arts (Suus Mahna?) and Lorca is no slouch, but FUCK ME EMPEROR PIPPA GOES FULL-ON WING CHUN AND IT IS GLORIOUS (the character, not necessarily the fighting style). The axe-kick to his face as he’s trying to bear-hug a dagger into her face is amazing - while you’re still getting over that Lorca’s literally stabbing Landry in the back, but is it to protect Burnham or is to fight Burnham himself? Emperor Pippa properly kicking flying daggers from her own face made me almost shout in victory - Michelle Yeoh is beyond impressive. At one point Emperor Pippa and Lorca punch each other and nearly fall - evidence of them being equal in combat, or just for fun?

Burnham getting the drop on him and holding him at phaser point was a good end, when she spelt out for him that everything he had done to finagle his way back to the mirror universe was unnecessary because she would have helped him if he’d just asked - that was awesome.

Yes, Burnham’s end was good, but Emperor Pippa’s ending of him was better. Into the opening in front of the throne he goes - into the super-mycelial reactor to be ripped apart, atom by atom, or just spread throughout the mycelial network in tiny, tiny pieces? Who knows. Emperor Pippa decides she will go down with her ship to help Burnham escape - a defeated Emperor must die on her feet, after all. But Burnham is Starfleet through and through, and what should have been Emperor Pippa’s greatest sacrifice (making her a redeemable character?) is stolen from her as Burnham grabs her before transport, and takes her back to the Discovery.

They destroy the ISS Charon with some very TOS-sounding torpedoes (and the mirror universe rejoices, I should think - how this will affect the species ready to fight for equality is anyone’s guess). Stamets makes the jump and they ride the mycelial wave to get home to their own Alpha Quadrant. If you weren’t shouting “find the clearing in the forest!” as he struggled then you and I were in very different places. Thank you, Culber (I had an eyelash in my eye, ok? An eyelash, people). And what of the green speck of presumably Lorca-spore-ash that landed on Tilly’s shoulder? Was it a “watch the leaf fall to the ground as a sign it’s ended” moment? Part of me hopes so - the other part hopes that our universe Lorca might be found.

And so we’re back. From outer space. But in an Army of Darkness “I slept too looooong!” kinda way, they’re back 9 months later than they left. Not good. The Terran Empire may have been dismantled in the other universe (or will Landry survive to take the throne?), and Emperor Pippa may have been royally pissed off by her ‘rescue’, but Saru has bigger problems; a mixture of TOS and TNG error noises tell them that while they were out, the klingons won the war and Starfleet is unable to answer comms - perhaps because they no longer exist.

Where that leaves us is anyone’s guess - can you use spores to jump back 9 months and help the war effort? Would you even use the spore drive again, knowing what it does to humans if they use it too much? Do they locate what’s left of Starfleet and begin retaliatory efforts?

I for one cannot wait to find out.

Peach and lube, people, peach and frelling lube!

Star Trek Discovery 1x12 - The Power of Distraction

Warning! Danger, Will Robinson!
Here be SPOILERS for Star Trek: Discovery series 1 episode 12!

I cannot go into a new Disco episode without commenting on where we are right now and how we got here, so here we are with another rambling confessional. This will be fuelled by my ongoing and irrepressible joy at having some form of Star Trek - NEW Star Trek, not a repeat - on telly again.

First of all, I’m so happy my theory about Lieutenant Ash Tyler has been proved right. I always suspected he was a spy, but the moment he confronted L’Rell and asked ‘what did you do to me?’ I suddenly thought HE’S A KLINGON AND HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW. I have to say, learning the whole truth of how L’Rell and Voq engineered this was great, but I get the feeling it was L’Rell who thought it up and promised she’d see it through. After all, she wasn’t the one who had to go through with it, Voq was. Smart woman, that L’Rell. I don’t care about the science, and I don’t care for people who said it was a stupid tactic; didn’t Arne Darvin do the same thing (pass himself off as a human, I mean - not the surgery) in the iconic ‘The Trouble With Tribbles’? Yes, he did, so stop whinging. I’m only sorry that Lorca’s single tribble in his proto-ready room (and how does he only have one again? That sounds like a saga right there) never got to meet Ash Tyler. The thing is, even if it did, have they even had the great klingon tribble hunt yet? Would the tribble have gone off on one in Tyler’s presence at all? Ah well. We may never know.

This brings us to my second bit of private glory and Farscape-shaped-gladness - the revelation about Gabriel Lorca. I am so happy it went the way I thought - I feel it explains a lot and this way, we can now appreciate him as a character worthy of the likes of Kira Nerys. After all, his need to kill the Emperor (nice appropriation of the male title, there) has outweighed everything else in his life - it must have done. He’s sacrificed everything, even hopped over to another universe, to see this through. He’s passed himself off as another human - successfully - and managed to commandeer a huge starship and bring it with him - as well as assemble people and goad them into the right places to accomplish his personal mission. The question is, is he doing this to free that universe from the tyranny of the Emperor and the terran alliance, or is he just doing this to replace her and take the Empire for himself? From his actions so far, I’m going to say he’s there for his own advancement.

Who knows for sure? But hey, I’m on board and I couldn’t love it any more than I do right now.

Stamets and Culber. I nearly choked on my pizza when poor Culber was summarily dispatched by Tyler a few episodes ago, and it hurt so much to see Stamets holding onto him in a way that made the ship think he had done it. I know his personality is just so, but to see him calmly accept Culber is dead was hard to watch too - especially as when he saw the mycellial network version of his own Culber he wanted it them to be ‘just like it was’. Now I think I know what the mirror Stamets was about, all those episodes ago when Culber was ‘angry’ with him for jumping into the spore drive and saving the ship. Somehow, that moment of Stamet’s reflection in the mirror - the one that stayed even after our universe Stamets was gone - was mycellial network Stamets enjoying it ‘just like it was’ during episode 12, with real Culber walking away like that. I think that’s how Stamets came to terms with it - Culber walking away from his mirror moment of happiness could have meant that Culber was leaving for good. I know it’s possible he could always find him in the other universe (if he’s even alive there), as Lorca and Burnham have both noted that people who share some kind of important bond in one universe seem to gravitate toward each other in other universes. I was half expecting Culber to rock up as the Emperor, to be honest. However, I’m totally happy with it being who they’ve got.

That’s what distracted me - I was so focused on hoping Tyler and Lorca were who I thought they were, I didn’t see the Emperor coming, and I certainly didn’t see Culber’s fate coming. Well played, Disco writers, well played.

One thing; why did Burnham go off-book so quickly when she was confronted with the Emperor? Was she blinded by her relationship with her ex-Captain? She does say that logically she knows it’s not her Georgiou up there, but then she spills everything to her, as if she is her own universe’s Georgiou. She attempts to make a deal, to get her ship and her shipmates back to her own universe - why would she think for one moment that this Emperor would honour any agreement she made? She’s just witnessed her kill most of the top lords of the system, save one (and isn’t he just going to be trouble later on). Unless Burnham is planning on double-crossing the Emperor and getting away with her crew - which would make me appreciate Burnham more - then she’d better be planning how to get out of it when the Emperor double-crosses her.

Where does that leave us? Burnham is hopefully getting ready to jump everyone on the Discovery back to their universe, Lorca is about to try to kill the Emperor for motives we’re not sure of yet, and we can hope that Tyler is dead (I preferred him as a klingon to be honest).

For the record, I like Captain Tilly - she’s fun and also just enough afraid that she’ll do what it takes. I’ve always liked the character, which has confused some of my friends. They say I don’t like the ‘plucky comic relief’ characters, or the token stereotype characters, or the useless background people. Maybe I like Tilly because I don’t see her as one of the above - she may have been meant for that, or she may have been perceived as that by others, but all I’ve seen is an awkward science nerd who loves her job and even supports the line manager that was nearly impossible to get along with. She’s the ideal of Star Trek in so many ways; she trying to explore, she’s trying to study what she finds, she’s trying to make bridges and learn about her fellow explorers. The fact that Mary Wiseman was not forced to lose a shedload of weight for the role only makes Tilly more relatable. It’s about time people who aren’t older Starfleet Admirals are allowed to be their own weight.

I think that’s about it - I can’t wait to get home Monday night (UK time) to find there’s another episode of Disco waiting for me.

Peach and lube, people. Peach and frelling lube.

Convention Comparisons

I’ve been to a few conventions in my time - good ones, bad ones, mediocre ones. I’ve just got back from a cruise convention (yes, an actual convention on a ship), and the discussion between people now taking stock of, for some, their first go at the convention circuit, has been very interesting to say the least.

First of all, a quick run-down of some I’ve been to and the experiences I’ve had. We’ll start with the worst and work up to my best experiences, I think.

5. Creation Entertainment - Supernatural

Link: HERE
Cost of entrance: $950 for the top-level entrance ticket alone (other levels are available) - not including flights (to LA for this one) and hotels.
Cost of autographs / photos: $80 and up for single photos, anything up to $150 for ‘sandwich’ photos. Autos from $50.
Organisation: They made an effort. But hey, when you pay for front row seats, I expect those seats to curve so everyone can see - and I expect the help to stop queueing question askers in front of you - whilst you’re still seated - and obscuring the guest artists on stage.
What’s On: A good range of short guest panels and talks, a karaoke night hosted by guests, maybe a party if you’re into dancing and drinking between school chairs set out in rows.
Cosplaying: Less than 15% of the approx. 5,000 attendees.
Atmosphere: Odd. Half of the place feels like they want to high-five everyone with a cool fandom t-shirt, while the other is there to whoop and cackle and scream at people on stage (with adoration, not anything else).
Overall enjoyment factor: Would have enjoyed it more if our horrendously overpriced tickets had afforded us an actual decent view, and if the parties had been… partier. All in all, I felt like I’d been very smoothly fleeced of at least $600.

4. Rogue Events - Supernatural

Cost of entrance: £110 (approx. $150)
Cost of autographs / photos: £50 and up (approx. $70) for singles
Organisation: Poor. Very poor. As in ‘people desperately tweeting each other to find out if anyone else at the con knew where anything was’ poor. Also, people waiting in queues while playing Twitter and Tumblr games to pass the time and to stop everyone going nuts.
What’s On: A full two days of guests on stage in a large, drafty hall. If you saw them all Saturday, on Sunday you could see them all again - in different duos or at different times. And the good thing was, if you didn’t have photos or autos then you didn’t have to keep getting up and running out of the hall to queue up to 2+ hours to get them. All the guests were entertaining, too.
Cosplaying: Nearly none, except for the ‘disco’ night. If you could find it.
Atmosphere: There’s something about a UK Supernatural convention that makes everyone feel just glad they’re at a con where their phone still works because they’re still in their own country, and they can use power points to charge their phones in the hotel (for the same reason), and they look around and see that 75% of the audience is also from the UK. It’s much more relaxed than a US convention (there’s no Beatlemania screaming and we don’t throw things on stage), but everyone seems to want to have a good time.
Overall enjoyment factor: The ruinously bad organisation distracted us a fair bit; unless people were speaking on stage, we were mostly searching for where we were supposed to be or racing to get food between sets. We have had more fun, and often. At least it was sunny in Blackpool in 2017.
Interesting note: Rogue Events closed down in 2017. Make of that what you will.

3. Star Trek the Cruise

Link: HERE
Cost of entrance: $900 per person, depending on the cabin (which is included). This does not include flights or hotels either side of the cruise itself.
Cost of autographs / photos: Surprisingly affordable - from $40 per auto and $50 per photo.
Organisation: Not too bad. Apart from switching times of when to pick up printed photos, or our main show event, or changing times so that suddenly they happen to clash with photo or auto ops, they may have been pretty dire at organising their way out of a paper bag, but at least they hadn’t charged as much as Creation Entertainment. However, there’s the small matter of the photo I took with Nana Visitor that I never got to collect. Thanks, ECP Ltd.
What’s On: Quite a full programme for the days you’re at sea. Obviously there’s less on when the ship hits the shore leave destinations, but what do you want? Main dining was good and the unlimited beverage package is well worth it at $500 - all drinks (except bottled water) and all tips are included. You know exactly where you stand with your bar bill at all times! They put on special Star Trek cocktails and changed menu names, etc. to make it feel themed. A bit more effort could have gone into this but it was at least better than 2017. Parties every night that went on till 2 or 3am, pool parties, 70’s discos, karaoke - lots to do for night owls.
Cosplaying: A lot. At any one time it felt like nearly 50% of the 1,900 guests on the Norwegian Jade were in uniform, or costume, or something along those lines.
Atmosphere: Mostly very good. No in-fighting amongst fans of different eras (at least not in public), not a lot of overheard grumbling. Some is inevitable, but it felt like most people where there to have a good time.
Overall enjoyment factor: Hmm… Pretty good. Apart from the cruise line getting our packages wrong, and our wi-fi allowances, and us not getting our picture with George Takei (because they didn’t tell us we had one, which we found out the next day from other passengers), and them switching things so we couldn’t see panels we wanted, it was still a cruise from Miami to the Honduras to Belize to Mexico. Not bad. And all the entertainment plus the cabin for 6 nights was the same price a gold ticket to Creation. Just sayin’.

2. Destination Star Trek

Link: HERE
Cost of entrance: €300 (approx. $370)
Cost of autographs / photos: €25 and up (approx. $31 and up)
Organisation: Pretty good. Three stages, well-documents timetables on their website a few days in advance of the event, helpers in English and the native language of the European city they’re in at the time, lines taped on the floor, wristbands to help you queue-jump if that’s what you’ve paid for - at times they could have adhered to this better but overall it was a monumental step up from Rogue Events.
What’s On: Two to three full days of panels, programmes and some quiet evening parties.
Cosplaying: Hmm. I’d say about 50%. It’s not exactly spot-on replicas or impressive Klingon foreheads, but it’s a start. And the heart is there.
Atmosphere: Again, European conventions seem to have the same dampening effect on jubilance as UK conventions. People want to have fun, it’s just that they’re a little reserved. Still, they came out in droves and the fact that one stage is just for fan panels and was always full tells you a lot.
Overall enjoyment factor: Not bad, I have to say. More fun than a Rogue Events con and a third of the price of a Creation Con, but still not quite all it could be.

1. Dragon*Con

Link: HERE
Cost of entrance: $90 - $100 for 4 days
Cost of autographs / photos: $20 and up
Organisation: They have their own app; it tells you what’s on and where, and how to get there, and alerts you ASAP if something is cancelled, postponed or moved. They’re spread over 6 host hotels (3 of them connected by ‘sky walks’, A.K.A. tunnel walkways between hotels), they have over 2,000 volunteers each con, and last year they bussed, shipped, fed, sold to, amused, entertained and kept safe over 80,000 attendees - not counting over 250 guests.
What’s On: So much your head spins. They cater to every kind of multimedia including films, tv, comic books, computer games, table-top games, D&D, music, and apps. There are always at least 5 things on every hour - 2 of each you’ll want to line up to see. There are 6 massive parties every night, one in each hotel, each with a theme.
Cosplaying: Yes. Oh Stephen Fry - yes. Last year out of the 80,000 people who actually turned up, 72% were in uniform or costume or similar. You know when you see photos of people at Comic Con and they have a perfect costume - and no-one else in the background is doing cosplay? Well when you take a photo at Dragon*Con, most people walking past in the background are also in cosplay. And don’t forget the opening parade - you sign up and they organise you into sections (fandoms) to march you around Atlanta during their peak tourism and showing-off season.
Atmosphere: PARTY HEARTY MARTY. I mean it. Everyone is there to show off their cosplay and congratulate you on yours. If you lose your friend dressed as Leeloo Dallas, do not stand on a chair and shout ‘Leeloo Dallas’ to find them, because that single hall containing over 5,000 people will shout ‘MULTIPASS’ as one and you’ll still be none the wiser as to where she is. People will high-five, others will drink, others will take photos - and then a ThunderCat will run past you, a Stormtrooper will go into the hotel Starbuck’s with a Farscape Peacekeeper, Batman will be buying an ice-cream for a tiny Ewok child, a Starfleet red shirt will back away from a Colonial Marine straight off the USS Sulaco, Sailor Moon and Daredevil will squeeze past you, Mulder and Scully will be caught chatting to Richard Castle and Kate Beckett, klingons will be at the bar toasting each other, Killjoys from the RAC will be trying to take photos with the Scarback Monks, the Doctor (9th or 10th) will be laughing with the Doctor (2nd or 4th), Tony Stark and a male Starbuck will be sharing a drink and Wonder Woman will be holding the door open for Leia Organa.
Overall enjoyment factor: Are you kidding me? This is Utopia. After 4 days you will never want to leave.

And that’s why Dragon*Con is my all-time favourite. They invite every guest they can get their hands on, 2017 was their 25th anniversary year which means they do know what they’re doing, it’s 10th the price of a Creation convention (have I mentioned how expensive they are yet?) and you will never, ever, be short of things to do. I’ve already blogged about it enough, so all I’ll say is I’ve also already mentioned the uniforms I had. And now I swear I’ll stop going on about Dragon*Con.

That’s is. It feels like I’m still jetlagged but I landed last Friday and it’s now Wednesday night, so I can’t be. Anyway, that’s my convention whinging out of my system. I’m sure next time it’ll be something much more exciting.

Soopytwist.

On Star Trek Discovery, and all things new

Warning! Danger, Will Robinson!
Here be SPOILERS for Star Trek Discovery up to series 1 episode 5!

At time of writing, we’re up to episode 5. I have to say, it’s living up to the hype - that it’s going places no other Trek show has been.

How? Two things:

First of all, it’s not following a ship (or a station) - it’s following a character. Just as the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy trilogy (of five) tells the story of a book by showing you its adventures as they concern humans, Star Trek Discovery is telling us the story of Michael Burnham as she causes conflict by interacting with ships, their captains, and their enemies.

Two: it doesn’t say ‘here are your bridge crew characters - now make stories about them’. It says ‘here’s a story and we’ll involve people as and when we need them’. For this reason, there’s no ‘episode as a vehicle for this character’ - apart from Michael, who, lest we forget, is who it’s all about.

I’m happy with these choices. I’m ecstatic that it’s breaking from tradition and going forward. When I first heard that CBS/Paramount were determined to keep going backwards in terms of the year it was set, I was pretty pissed off, to be honest. Star Trek is about moving forward, and that means you don’t write yourself into the past, a past before Kirk joins Starfleet, and box yourself in with what you can and can’t have because Kirk didn’t have it.

(As an aside - who else is waiting for the literal mirror-verse version of Stamets to bring about the end of spore-drive tech? When it’s discovered that it causes what I think is replication of the human spore-host as a mirror-version, Starfleet will have to abandon it - hence why Kirk doesn't have it. I’m so excited for this!)

However, this show has already been more progressive than its predecessors, and I’m happy about that. I’m also happy that these humans we have on this show are not the fully-formed, fully-balanced people of the 22nd or 23rd century. They’re in 2256 - 2 years before the events of the ‘The Cage’ - 11 years before Kirk takes command of the Enterprise. People are still humans - rough around the edges, living through a war with the klingons - a race they hardly know as they haven’t had to deal with for the past hundred years (since the time of Enterprise - around the 2120s). This is a hundred years before DS9's controversial episode ‘In The Pale Moonlight’ - and it shows. It’s commonplace for these people to do things they never would have considered had the situation not been one of dire need and absolute life or death. It’s people having to get on with it, without the benefit of a well-known and respected Federation behind them. The idea that the klingons think they know what will happen to them, their culture, their way of life - because they’ve seen other races ‘fall’ to the ‘assimilation’ of the Federation - feels very real and very current. Every generation gets the Star Trek they deserve - and we have one about identity, about preserving your own culture at any cost, about standing up and saying ‘nope - you can’t whitewash/airbrush me - this is who I am, deal with it - we exist and you can’t deny us’. That makes the klingons on the side of the current anti-Trump and anti-status quo section of our world population - they are sticking it to The Man, and that makes me happy. Of course, that makes Starfleet either The Man or very misunderstood. And I'm ok with that - it’s about the possibility of sides, after all. Picard would have looked at it both ways - Sisko would have asked Dax and she would have said she’s lived both ways. Kirk would have said it’s a risk to jump either way - but ‘risk is our business’ and to carefully decide if a side should even be chosen.

Basically, this is pure Star Trek that no-one wanted but everyone cried out for. Something new, something a little daring, something to challenge. And if Star Trek isn’t challenging people, it’s not doing it right.

This is not your mother’s sci-fi. This is born of new ways of telling stories, of modern TV styles, and new ways of engaging (pardon the bad link) with its audience. The Expanse, Killjoys, Dark Matter - they’ve all pushed the envelope - and personally I don’t think Star Trek will ever be as shamelessly celebratory of diversity as Killjoys. But that’s not the only reason for Star Trek - it’s also about discovery. Though it’s hard to do that going back in time, it is easy to do if you’re thinking in terms of exploring the human condition and how it changes under stress, under the threat of death for many millions of souls - because of something you decide at that moment. What makes you, you? What makes you act in defence of or against someone else? That’s what they’re exploring here, and that’s what I’m looking forward to seeing more of.

Lorca may have scuttled his own ship (the Buron) and taken all hands but himself with her, but he did it because the needs of those many crew members outweighed the needs of the one. People are railing about how he has no soul, but didn’t he do exactly what Vasquez and Gorman did in Aliens when surrounded by xenomorphs and no ammo? Didn’t Picard do the same to a crew member lying on the floor asking for his help in Star Trek: First Contact? Ask Miles O’Brien if he’d leave someone alive to be taken prisoner by the Cardassians. And as for leaving Mudd behind - he had already proven himself to be a spy and someone only able to look out for himself. And he did brag about being a survivor. To be honest, I would have left him too.

On that subject, it’s obvious Tyler is a spy for the klingons (he escaped physical harm for how long? And his klingon captor was taken down much too easily for anyone to believe) but that’s why Lorca’s taken him along, isn’t it? He probably smelt it a mile off and is going to try to play him at his own game. After all, if he has a spy on board sending messages to the enemy, all you do is follow the message.

Time will tell if any of my musings are correct, but then that’s the fun. For the first time since DS9, there’s Star Trek on telly. I wasn’t in the UK for Enterprise, but compared to DS9 and Discovery it was weak. The characters were wasted and some of the stories were recycled from DS9 anyway (the Enterprise episode ‘Oasis’ and the DS9 episode 'Shadowplay', anyone?).

For me personally, I’ve seen more Star Trek in the first five episodes of Discovery than a whole season of Enterprise. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not hating on Enterprise and we needed it to keep the TV versions of Star Trek ticking along. But it was all starting to get a little stale, and this new idea of following a person and not a ship is what I think Star Trek needed to keep up to date - so far in the past that’s still yet to come.

Your mileage may vary - but for me, it’s yipping along with all the right signs. Long may it continue.

It’s not you, it’s me

I don’t normally talk about work here, mostly because that’s between me and work colleagues. However, it’s now come to the point where I need to speculate out loud. And because my landlord/housemate downstairs is watching The Princess Bride, I guess I’ll be smiling while I do it.

I'm very comfortable where I am. And by that I mean I go to work, do 8 hours, then go home again. They even let me change my hours to make the day start and finish earlier. Doesn’t help much with the traffic, but it does help with my overall day. I’m free to get on with projects and things I think need doing to keep the day-to-day running of software and background stuff working and all in order. Things like system maintenance, organising upgrades, staying compliant, and also being the only person in the business who can run and deliver payroll to all employees of two companies - I do all this. I know that in the grand scheme of things, I’m just a Corporal Hicks (no offence, Corporal Hicks). I know that I’m not in the team of people who have to make things happen or guide the direction of the company, and I know I’m not important or in fact key to the business. I know all these things, and I thought I was ok with it.


Maybe I’m not. Maybe that’s why I unconsciously ‘push back’ as they call it when people ask my opinion on stuff that I believe is beyond my pay grade. I think this is what it comes down to.

Do you (a) help even though you know it’s not your place, and you don’t have access or knowledge because you’re not in the management team, so everything you say is stuff that they’re asking you to do even though it’s not your job and is way above you so they’re getting it for free, or (b) push back and say it’s not your place to say? If you do ‘a’, maybe you’re proving that you can handle the next pay grade so they can look at promoting or including you more - so if you do ‘b’ then you’re shooting yourself in the foot. But when you know there’s nowhere to go - there’s no position above you, no reason to invent one, and no promotion in sight, then why not do ‘b’?


A long time ago, I was the kind of person who would say that my job description has clear definitions, and I stay inside of those definitions. It wasn’t out of spite, or pay issues, or anything but doing what it says on the tin. If you want me to do more, then write it on the tin. Everyone knows where they stand, people know who to ask to do various tasks because they can look on the tins for guidance, and everyone’s happy.


Then I went through a long phase of ‘well if they ask for my help then I’ll help’ - because we’re all just people, and knowing why someone comes to you instead of picking up the other tin can make all the difference.

Now I’m passing that phase. Now I’m getting to the bitter, twisted phase of ‘why should I?’. Not because of a lack of money or power for me, but more a case of why do I always have to sort this out? It’s not even my fucking job and yet you always ask me to fix this or sort that, as if I get paid for this’. Lest we forget, the more time I’m doing other stuff not in my JD, the less time I have to do what I’m actually paid to do. It’s just math.

So I’m doing ‘b’ more than ‘a’. Will that hurt my chances of promotion? No, because there isn’t anywhere to go. Will that affect my chances of a pay rise? No, surprisingly - I do my JD and the general consensus is that I do it well, with no reason to give me less than 5 out of 5.

It looks like I have an answer, then. Except when I do push back, I get a certain look from my colleagues - you know the look. It’s the look that says ‘you’re not being helpful’. It’s the look that says ‘but I asked you to do it and you always do - why aren’t you doing it now?’. I don’t actually care too much. What is beginning to grate is the maturity of some of the people around me.

A few months ago, I would have said ‘maturity’ as in the stupid, me-me-me questions some people ask me about payroll because they’re actual 5 year olds and think the world revolves around them. Yes, we have a few of those. But in the next 6 - 12 months they’ll find that attitude untenable in the new work environment the CEO is bringing in, and they’ll either be gone or put right, so I don’t waste time thinking about them.


What I care about is the way someone who’s supposed to be my equal, and someone else who’s supposed to be my line manager, come across as immature. And I don’t mean they’re self-centred or selfish or childish or anything negative at all. They’re nice people, they’re normal people, they’re fine. We get on and have a laugh, or agree on why people are being dicks, etc. They really are ok.

What I'm talking about is their attitude to life in general. I don’t care if they go on about shoes they’ve bought or how much they hate their hair today or which ‘pretty’ shirt they pulled out of the wardrobe this morning. I can tune all that inane conversation out very easily. I don’t care about them talking about their boyfriends and what they did last night and what they said and how it was soooo funny because men don’t understand anything and it’s cute and they love them for it. As I said, inane shit = sorted.

It’s the lack of maturity as in lack of experience. They say they’re ‘stressed’ because they have to confront someone, or do something outside of their comfort zone, or think they have a lot to think about.


And it irritates me, I won’t lie. ‘Stress’ is knowing the mortgage or rent is due next week, and even after you’ve done everything you possibly can, you still can’t make it - and you haven’t even eaten yet. ‘Stress’ is looking at your long-term plan for life and knowing it’s all going to go wrong because of the government changing some loophole, or your lack of funds which you can’t do anything about. ‘Stress’ is not having a way to get to work due to money or a bad situation. It is not having a lot to do at work.

I think that’s it - I think I’ve hit the nail on the head: having to work with people less than two-thirds my age, who have very limited life experience and no capacity to think of the bigger picture. I know I’ve been more withdrawn at work lately - talking more to my unofficial other line manager - the one from another department, which my JD kind of makes me keep one foot in. He’s the same age as me, he doesn’t want to talk about shoes, he’s married to someone from another world (perspective speaking). He’s lived and worked overseas for a substantial amount of time, he’s got a small child and juggles that and a job that routinely has more work to do than time to do it. He has perspective and understands the difference between stress and just another day.

Since moving from abroad back to England, I’ve come up against a lot of limited people. Limited in their understanding, limited in their perspective, limited in their willingness to look beyond their own nose. It’s just taken me the last 12 months to realise that working under one of these people, with no idea of why I’m irritated most of the time, is starting to grate.

This is why when I write now it’s straight to the point; the ruthless, logical people survive and the fluffy ones are cannon fodder (gleefully so). Films like John Wick (1 and 2) appeal to me more than others, these days. I’m getting tired of everyone else’s slowness and fluffiness. I’m pretty sure that’s a sign of getting bitter and twisted, with the world in general, not people.

But then I see Star Trek Beyond for the seventh time I’m willing to try, to be a ‘normal’ person and give people a chance, to put up with annoying whiners and get on with it. It sticks for a few weeks. Then I need something else to give me a reason not to get angry with these limited people.

And the next Star Trek film is at least a year away.

I’ve been looking up working overseas again. And again it comes down to not having the right qualifications or certificates to enable a work visa - that old chestnut. It seems lack of university will again be my undoing. This world’s reliance on an out-dated and falsely-regarded education standard is still my nemesis.


And that’s where we leave it, friends. No degrees, no money to get degrees, and therefore no change in sight. Lovely. Just what I need to realise on a dreary Saturday afternoon.