“Woss mean ‘innuendo’?”


Righty-ho then, time fer another ‘students say the funniest things’ segment.

I’m sat in class, trying to get kids to talk about the T.V. shows they watch, and it’s like pulling hen’s teeth. You know the type, when they think a brisk nod o the head and quick barely-there shrug will get em past all questions. Oh no, no, no, my young friends, not so. But then, quite unexpectedly, a young lad starts to talk about some such US programme he’s seen on telly recently. It were on cable, not terrestrial, and he’s describing someone who can move through time and / or space, and his methods.

“So, how does he do this, then?” say I.
“He thinks about it. And watches,” says he.
“He watches?” say I.
“No, he uses a watch.”
“Ah. Right,” say I.
“And he’s Japanese. My mother doesn’t like the Japanese, but she likes Hiro.”
“Cos he’s a hero?”
“What?” says he, clearly confused.
“Nothing. Carry on.”
“Well, he uses a watch to change the time.”


Silence from his classmates. Then I pick on another, sleepy-looking spanner.

“Well? Do you think he can move through space and / or time using a watch?” say I gamely.
“No,” says he, “I think using a watch is a silly idea. Like… Superman and a phone booth. Silly.”
“But no!” says another student quickly, “that’s how the Doctor moves through time and space.”
“With a phone booth?” Original Student asks sarcastically.
“No, a kind of… er, teacher? You know, do you?” asks Challenger desperately.
“I do, and no he does not move through time and space with a phone booth.”
“What then?” asks Original Student. “How does he do it?”
“Well, the Doctor does it with a TARDIS.”


Cue moment of horror as I realise what I’ve just said. And then a flash-flood o memories of them old car stickers that read, ‘Carry On’ style, “Young farmers do it in wellies”, “Bank managers do it 9 to 5”, etc. Oh the shame…

Talking o kids and stuff they say, was looking for a list of suitably the Doctor-ish insults (long story, suffice to say: ‘new fan-fic in offing’), and stumbled over this page. I had fun reading it, and it constantly amazes me how perceptive kids really are…

So that’s it then. Remember yer towel day after tomorrow, and join the rest of the hoobiest froobs who always know where their towels are. It should be law.

Towel Day :: A tribute to Douglas Adams (1952-2001)

Coming soon (as I did promise this a while back, but am ‘still collating’, in a Cardassian-made hybrid computer kinda way) ~ a fantasy league of Royal Marines Commandos update.

Peach and lube.

Tags:
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

2 'aye's:

FOUR DINNERS said...

Comments were fucked on yer last post. Same happened t'me. The Doc excelled last week but how could she fall for a Manc???? Now if he'd had an Oldham accent I'd have understood.....

Soupdragon said...

Y'see? Blogger is taking't piss, I tell you!

Anyway, what's wrong wi Chadderton? Eh? Eh? EH?

Near enough as makes no odds, if you ask me. Which you didn't. Ah well ~~

SD