Going to the Pictures (IV)

I’ve been lagging behind in my movie-watching. Not the watching bit, but the keeping-it-straight-in-my-head by making-a-note-of-it bit. So here we go:


The Big Sick (Unlimited Screening, 24th July 2017)

Pretty funny in places, semi-autobiographical in others, this was an eye-opener that was a nice change from the usual Hollywood output. Kumail Nanjiani is excellent playing pretty much parts of his own real life here. Add in Holly Hunter and Zenobia Shroff and you have some very strong scenes that resonate with anyone trying to reconcile either parents and/or lifestyles. A Sunday afternoon kind of movie, but a good one.

Verdict: 7.5/10

Captain Underpants (27th July 2017)

I’ve read and re-read so many of these books, mostly to students of English as a foreign language. However, as I’m reading I’m enjoying the fact that the books are about kids, for kids, not what adults think kids should like. Friendship, escapades, getting away with sticking it to the man adult - it’s all in there. The movie was a faithful and definitely very fun adaptation that had me giggling for the entire 80 minutes. The end theme song, written by Weird Al Yankovic, did it justice too. All in all, a fab day out for all the family. And I’m not even sorry.

Verdict: 9/10

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2nd August 2017)

I was so excited for this - I love The Fifth Element and finding out that Luc Besson had been developing this for a while to exist in the same universe, I couldn’t wait to see it. A shame, then, that the best part of the movie was literally the first 15 minutes as they show you how Earth came to be part of the thousand planets of the title. Clive Owen and Rihanna were awesome - you can’t go wrong with those two. However, the two leads left me cold and I felt no chemistry between them or in fact them and anyone else. I just didn’t care about them at all, and felt the movie meandered all over the shop. I left thinking it had been a waste, apart from Clive Owen’s ee-vil general and of course Rihanna’s pleasure model.

Verdict: 6/10

Atomic Blonde (10th August 2017)

Fun, a little dirty, a little messy, and best of all, a little ambiguous. There seems to be no limit to what Charlize Theron can pull off, and I enjoyed pretty much all of this. The only let-down was finding out who the ‘villain’ actually was at the end - I was looking forward to a further double-cross and certain characters walking away with everything, but Hollywood again saw fit to keep things within certain boxes. Hmmf. For that, and the fact that there was not a single Debbie Harry / Blondie track in the whole film, I’ve given it a lower mark than the rest of the film deserves.

Verdict: 8.5/10

The Hitman’s Bodyguard (19th August 2017)

Hilarious and fast-moving - this film felt about 45 minutes long. Wall-to-wall solid scenes and one-liners, this made me laugh out loud several times. Salma Hayek is perfect and on-form - worth watching just for her, but then there’s Ryan Reynolds being Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L Jackson being Samuel L Jackson. I liked that it was shot 90% in Europe, and that when shit was going down, Ryan Reynold’s character took the proper, logical option, and not the Hollywood option that Samuel L Jackson’s character wanted. Ace. Oh - and watch out for the bloopers on the end credits.

Verdict: 9.5/10

The Dark Tower (24th August 2017)

A good film, with solid leads and people you rooted for. However, it all felt like there was no question about who would win in the end, and the winning of that was too easy by a long chalk. Strange, but there it is. And no disrespect to any writer, producer, or director - but again it was all about men having men times with more men doing men things. Why the original couldn’t have been written about a woman, her mother, and a young girl, I don’t know. Oh wait, yes I do.

Verdict: 8.5/10

American Made (31st August 2017)

Sheer fun and frolics for 80% of the film, until it starts to sink in that you know how it all has to end. Tom Cruise is very good as Tom Cruise based on a real-life story not about Tom Cruise, and everyone else in it is very convincing. Funny, moving - a cautionary tale, indeed.

Verdict: 8.5/10

The Limehouse Golem (7th September 2017)

A tale of a sequential killer in London; a tarnished detective moved in to be the department scapegoat when he hopefully fails to find the culprit, the backdrop of the shady side of showtunes and bawdy theatre of Victorian London - characters you don’t expect, twists you think you see coming and then realise you’ve been set up - a lot to appreciate here. An excellent movie, it was a just a shame that more people weren’t even aware it was out. You’d think names like Bill Nighy, Douglas Booth, Eddie Marsan and Olivia Cooke would make them advertise it better.

Verdict: 9/10

American Assassin (Unlimited Screening, 12th September 2017)

Wow. I will admit, I was lured into this with the promise of Taylor Kitsch, and he didn’t disappoint. However, the film as a whole most certainly did. It was the most TEAM AMERICA - FUCK YEAH! film since Team America. Moments of definite cheesiness and painful attempts to justify black ops in defence of ’Murica, we stuck it out only because Michael Keaton deserves better. Feel a little sorry for the little Teen Wolf / Maze Runner dude, Dylan O’Brien, but when you’re getting your feet on the ladder you can’t be too choosy about which rungs they are, I guess.

Verdict: 5/10

Kingsman 2: The Golden Circle (21st September 2017)

What can I say? Critics have given it bad reviews, but I don’t care for other people’s opinions before I’ve seen a movie for myself, so I went anyway. Like anything was going to stop me from seeing a Kingsman movie. Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed it - fun, well-paced, well-acted (and it looked like people were having fun filming it), and just as much hilarity as the first one. While I knew it was going to hard to beat my top two moments of the first one (the Freebird in the church scene, and people’s heads exploding to the tune of Last Night of the Proms), there were plenty of moments in this new one that had me either laughing out loud or chuckling loud enough to drown out other cinema-goers’ laughter. Note: Chilean Burt Reynolds (otherwise known as a face morph of Jeremy Renner and Burt Reynolds from Smokey and the Bandit) is actually Pedro Pascal. There; you're welcome. It’s safe to say there are moments of that film that will live with me the next 10 years, and every time I think of them I will giggle. What more can you ask of a film?

Verdict: 9.5/10

Young Frankenstein (Special Anniversary Screening, 27th September 2017)

A blast from the past - and still just as much fun. How can you go wrong with a Mel Brooks / Gene Wilder film? The jokes were all still there, the spirit of the piss-take was strong with this one, and a good time was had by all.

Verdict: 8.5/10

Blade Runner: Final Cut (1982) (Special Screening, 28th September 2017)

A reminder before we see the sequel next week, the fact that this was Ridley Scott’s own favourite version he put together a few years ago was a pleasant surprise. There are more versions of this film knocking about than the Bible, so being able to watch what Scott considers the best version was a relief. It still had it (but luckily, did not have the voice-over or 90% of the dream sequence), and the restoration of the night scenes, the overshots of the rainy city, and the Vangelis theme were just incredible. Worth watching just for the cleaned-up cinematography alone, this version made things more stream-lined and, thankfully, shorter. Although I still want to know how Edward James Olmos’ characters knew to make a unicorn out of a gum wrapper and leave it at Deckard’s door.

Verdict: 9.5/10

That’s it for now - all up to date for the time being. As always, there will be more to come.

Soopytwist.