Home Movies (III)

Here we are with another round-up of films - ones I’ve seen at home, rather than at the pictures. It may not surprise you to learn that these are not from the USA or UK.

The Adventurers (俠盜聯盟) (2017)

Andy Lau (劉德華) in an Andy Lau film about Andy Lau being Andy Lau - only this time, the charming git who is much too suave for his own good (ngaw, stop it Andy - oh go on then, carry on) is a thief who has morals and a looong history of getting away with everything - until that one time he didn’t. Jean Reno, Eric Tsang (曾志偉), Shu Qi (舒淇) and a host of back-ups make this film twisty, turny, action-packed and fun to watch. Worth watching for a good alternative to The (original) Pink Panther meets Mission: Impossible (1996), and for the bridge scene at the end.

Verdict: 8.5/10; could have been less obvious about some things, but I liked the fact that some key moments were much more realistic than Hollywood’s saccharine view of everything.

Buddy Cops (刑警兄弟) (2016)

Pure Hong Kong-style sarcasm, fun, and social commentary as Bosco Wong (黃宗澤) plays the hot-headed, bordering-on-arsehole copper Fei who gets into trouble one too many times and is transferred to the useless department, full of coppers the HK Police can’t sack. There he is soul-shreddingly irritated by Johnny, played by comedian and TVB go-to actor ‘King’ Kong Lee (金剛). When their single parents end up together, they not only have to try to find a way not to kill each other as new brothers, but also survive “typical ‘Kong’ girlfriends” and the Big Bad, who appears to be smuggling drugs buried in coffee. Full of bawdy jokes that would make Shakespeare proud, it’s also interesting to note how local HK media sees the role of ‘girlfriends’ and how things work between the battle of the sexes. I caught myself laughing out loud a few times; evidence perhaps that you don’t need a big budget to entertain - as the two main actors who have long careers with TV company TVB would already know.

Verdict: 7.5/10; It felt like it kind of lost its way in the middle, but then quickly got back to the overall plot when it realised the time.

Running Out of Time (暗戰) (2000)

What can you say about a classic that haunts you from your bookcase? It’s like an old friend, watching me as I walk past every day, noticing the times I look at the DVD case and then remember I have Things To Do. It doesn’t get upset that I don’t have time to rewatch it, it just lets me get on with stuff, knowing that eventually I will get back to it.

And I always do. There’s something sublimely awesome about this film, something quietly and subtly one of the best films I’ve ever seen. Andy Lau (yes, him again) is a jewel thief with a very short life expectancy - or is he? Sean Lau Ching-Wan (劉青雲) is just a copper who's too good at his job, so when debonair master-criminal Andy Lau decides to use him for The Greater Good, the game is on. I won’t tell you what The Greater Good actually is, as that would definitely spoil the entire film. Suffice to say, it’s probably not what you think - and when it is exactly what you think, it makes you happy to be sad. Yes, it’s one of those films.

Verdict: 9.5/10. Enough said.

Needing You… (孤男寡女) (2000)

Not a New Year film but pretty much almost there, this comedy with romance in it (not to be confused with a romantic comedy) is a complete giggle from start to finish. Andy Lau (leave me alone - the man makes 6 films a year on average, ok?) is allegedly a ‘womaniser’ and ‘slimy creep’, and also the manager of the sales floor in an office. Enter Sammi Cheng (鄭秀文), a misunderstood woman who gets transferred in from another department. She comes with emotional baggage like a boyfriend who treats her like furniture and yet cheats on her. Manager Andy decides enough is enough and steps in to help her ditch him. A complicated dating game ensues, with him being pursed by an ex and Sammi being pursued by the richest brat you’ve ever met (he doesn’t seem that way, but wait for it). Throw in a subplot about office politics (some of the verbal smackdowns he lays on the office gossipers are incredibly on point) and a cameo from… Andy Lau (you need to see it to understand) and you have a pretty funny escapade that leaves you smiling.

Verdict: 8/10. Seeing Sammi get her own back on the boyfriend and Andy kick the shit out of his own car in frustration never gets old - and for the bloopers they left in because, hey, why not?

Cat and Mouse (老鼠愛上貓) (2003)

Most definitely a New Year film, this has all the hallmarks of a classic rip-roaring piss take; Hong Kong actors playing ‘serious’ period drama characters, a very real, very snowy foreign film set (Beijing), witty Cantonese one-liners, gurning or doing complete scenes with their faces being the dialogue - what’s not to laugh at? Cecilia Cheung (張栢芝) is a dude in charge of a local gang complete with comfort women and henchmen, who the incredibly smart security officer of the royal court, Andy Lau, doesn’t even realise is in disguise. Andy gets bored of his prefecture being crime-free (even his sword protests not being used any more) and goes on holiday to find trouble. He lands right in it when he uncovers a plot by other courts to have his judge assassinated - and him too. Chapman To is brilliantly funny in this as Cheung’s inventive sidekick, and the banter that goes on between him and the other ‘henchmen’ is immeasurably hilarious. Honourable mention goes to Lei Bing Bing for playing perhaps the only straight face in the whole farce. Cecilia Cheung gets to flex some comedy muscles and excels.

Verdict: 9/10. Simple harmless fun from start to finish.

Firestorm (風暴) (2013)

Wow. How many buildings, cars, people, or innocent plant pots can you blow up over the course of 2 hours? Stick with this film to find out. Seriously, it’s a wonder Michael Bay didn’t call and ask for his explosives budget back.

Andy Lau Is a copper who’s been after The Big Bad, a gangster, for a while. After a poor sap with no way out ends up in jail, Andy becomes god-father to his daughter and looks after the autistic child with the usual patented Andy Perfection until her father is released. Meanwhile The Big Bad is ramping up his attacks and Andy simply Won’t Stand For It - but every time they try to arrest him, he slips their grasp or is released on a technicality. However, Andy is determined to stand firm and get him the right way. Or is he? When people stoop so low as to go after innocent (and uncomprehending) children, Andy decides perhaps it’s time to cheat just a little. But what do you do when it goes wrong? Things blow up, apparently - a lot of things, and often. But I have to say, it’s all in a day’s work and it doesn’t get boring at all.

Verdict: 8.5/10 - some awesomely planned action scenes, some moral ambiguity and an interesting ending. Bring on the blu ray.

Wesley’s Mysterious Files (衛斯理藍血人) (2002)

Oh. My. Life. You want a Syfy Original Movie with people forced to speak foreign languages (badly), poor CGI / FX and gaping plot holes? Then this is the film for you. I don’t know how many times I laughed, but I probably wasn’t supposed to. In a so-bad-it’s-good way, I did enjoy this film. After all, how many blue-blooded aliens get to kill off the director of the film when he’s doing his cameo?

Verdict: 5.5/10; sorry - making people struggle on in a foreign language is not my idea of a good time. They could have just spoken their own and made up some universal translator stolen from the blue-blooded aliens to get around it. *shrugs*

Peace Breaker (破局) (2017)

Probably the best kept secret of 2017, you won’t find this film listed on Aaron Kwok (郭富城)’s filmography or in fact anyone else’s. Which is a shame, because this remake of the Korean smash hit A Hard Day (走到盡頭) from 2014 is at times very black comedy, abruptly heart-breaking mood whiplash, and most of the time a gripping thriller. I say ‘gripping’ because I spent half of the film shouting advice at the TV (which Aaron ignored - rude) and the other half squeezing the life out of a cushion through sheer frustration. I can’t remember how many times I yelled ‘you’ve got X minutes left to find a way to fuck him over!’. Worth a watch for the coffin scene alone, anyone who’s ever started out a shitty day that got worse as the hours dragged on will probably enjoy this film. It almost slipped into parody once or twice, but then again, this was filmed out in Malaysia to get around the rigid Chinese censorship, so anything goes when you’re not forced to make everything about serving the Party well and being a good dog.

The trailer on YouTube is probably the only marketing this film is going to get - a great shame if you want both a giggle and an action-packed fun night in. And I have to say - a very good ending. Make sure you watch the credits to see the deleted scenes.

Verdict: 8/10 - it’s just so good to see Aaron Kwok in a new movie, but this stands up as one of the better ones.

That’s it for now - going to have to come back here soon and update with Cineworld adventures.

Soopytwist.