“You people are so tiny. And petty.”

Couldn’t resist a Thor quote, there. Well strictly speaking it’s from The Avengers, but Thor said it so whatever. And it sums up what I've been thinking about the last place I lived, so it's all good.

I’ve moved. I know I’ve mentioned it a few times, but I now live in the Republic of Mancunia and I’m slowly getting used to things. I shall expound upon these things thus:

Artics - them great huge things as haul all your shit up and down the motorways? They’re called wagons.

Tea - as in, do you want a cup of one - are now exclusively referred to as ‘a brew’ at all times, not just when you’re tired or hung over.

Big light - as in the ceiling light in the room - is still called the Big Light. I’m thanking my grandparents for calling it that early on in my childhood.

“Are you right?” - I am now fully justified in saying this, as it’s how it’s said up here. Because that’s normal, so everyone who’s been telling me it’s been wrong for the past decade or so that I can remember is actually and in every way wrong. So there.

The drive to work - now only 30 mins, not 60, and actually it’s easier when your part of the M60 is the bit other people don’t know exists. Love you, junctions 22 to 24.

However, that being said, some people use the motorway like it’s a tiny A road through the arse end of nowhere and that’s just dangerous. Please start doing more than 45 mph in the (otherwise empty) inside lane, fuckwits.

The people at work - capable of higher awareness yet tempered with a kindness for absolute strangers that is both baffling and a wonderful thing. I’m almost beginning to see what the Doctor sees in humans. Almost. I mean, they put on a buffet with a superlatively broad array of choices to cater for people with religious or biological food needs without thinking twice - that is so hard to get across to most people, but near a city it’s almost second-nature. It’s great.

At the same time they’re not just nice to your face then talking shit about you once you’re not in the room; if they have a problem they’ll tell you. They’ll just be careful how they say it. It’s refreshing.

It reminds me of why I wanted to move to be within city limits in the first place. I’m nowhere near the centre, but at least I’m within its range, so I still get the ripple effects without having to be in the expensive postcodes.

And on that note, I’m off to see what’s on the 2 cinemas near me this weekend.

Peach and lube, people - peach and bloody lube.