Tuesday, 14 March 2006

The Fantasy RMC Corps Strikes Back… (8th March '06)

Ok, I’ve had some feedback since mentioning this little idea to people ~ people are trying to twist my arm to get other people into my Fantasy RMC Corps. Can I just remind everyone I’m looking for the actual ACTORS themselves, NOT the characters they’ve played. Right, that said, let’s look at the suggestions one by one, shall we?

Let’s look at who we have:
Sean Bean,
Max Beesley,
Ewan McGregor.
Hmm, not exactly bursting at the seams, are we? Who else then?

Sean Pertwee? Remember Event Horizon’s 6-foot engineer, Smith? Yep, he’s in. Ok, he’s from London, but nobody’s perfect. Nick Moran? Nah ~ not burly enough (and we don’t want any more Cockneys in here than necessary). Clive Owen (a Coventry boy) ~ absolutely yes! He’s in!

Someone suggested Christian Bale, and I’d have to endorse that application. After all, he represents Wales, is a bit burly (when he wants to be) and is a dab hand at kicking seven shades o shite out o people. He’s in! How about Jason Isaacs? Yes, alright, he started out in Capital City, the TV series, but he’s from Liverpool. He’s in! Robert Carlyle: Why are we even discussing this? Begbie's in! Daniel Craig? A Chester boy brought up in Liverpool? That’s credentials alone: in!

But what about the other parts of the far-flung once British Empire: the Commonwealth? First up, because I put in his application, is Karl Urban, representing New Zealand. (Think Xena's Caesar, Lord Vacco, John “Grim” Reaper, Eomer, and of course Jamie Forrest from Shortland Street.) No question: in! Let’s be having Hugh Jackman. Born in Sydney but played a Canadian onscreen ~ marvellous! Who wouldn’t let him in? Sign ‘em all up, give em their gear, I want em all in uniform ASAP…

Some have argued I’m using the Commonwealth because there aren’t enough useful lads on British soil, but I would argue that (1) I’ve already got a shitload above, and (2) you can’t leave out a few good men just cos they were born int wrong place. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying they should have been born in England, I’m just saying they shouldn’t be denied the chance of joining our league of extraordinarily buff gentlemen just because they’re not British. After all, a buff bloke is a buff bloke, and land’s just land ~ except I do draw the line at America (they're "Royal" Marines Commandos, after all).
So we have our men. Hmm. Now I can sleep easy at night. Of course, if you think I’ve left anyone out, feel free to let me know…

Oh no! I've just re-read this for proof-reading, and do you know who I've left out? Do you realize what I almost did? I nearly left out the Gene Genie himself! DCI Gene Hunt, from Life on Mars! Bloody hell! What was I thinking? He could be The Sarge! Right then, in wi him, too!

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