Sorry, Pluto mate, size counts…

“Holy crap!” to quote my friend, the religious American. Apparently Pluto is no longer a planet. So are we down to eight now? Or did they make that tenth one into the ninth? Crikey blimey Charlie, now I can tell me kids (the ones I’m going to buy, cos that way if I don’t like em I can take em back fert refund) I were here, online, when I stumbled over this news story about changing the planet line-up. Wow, eh. But what do I care, really? Apparently lots of people “like” Pluto. How can you “like” a planet? Do you call it ont weekend, chat fer a bit, catch up an that? Is it on yer Christmas card list? Do you get upset when it dunt send you a card back? As far as I’m concerned, Pluto was Hades, and that’s not a nice thing. Hades wont too good-looking. Now, if it’d been Ares… Ah, whole bag o right, judging by the godly late, great, Kevin Smith to my left. Ooh yes sir, that would have been a whole bag o right, right there…

It’s been an emotional week so far. Lots of kids are saying goodbye. They’re upset, saying goodbye to me fert last time, dragging themselves home, trying to forget they’re leaving behind one of the most amazing, understanding teachers they’ll ever be lucky enough to have (can you hold a full-length conversation about the advantages of Keroro and Hamtaro? Could you debate the “who’d win in a fight – Batman or Spider-Man” conundrum?). There’s me, sadly waving goodbye, then running into ‘t next classroom and opening the champagne etc. Ah, youth. Wasted on the young, and all that.

I will miss wee Jack, the one-time pants-wetter (cos he laffed too hard, I might add). He’s switching to a new class in September, so I’ll not teach him again. He’s given me a parting shot though – he copies everything you say, or rather, tried to. Last lesson he heard me say “oh my dog!” to stop me from blurtin “bloody hell!”. So he faithfully reproduced it. But cos he’s only three years old, he kinda got the pronunciation a bit wrong. It came out “oh my frog”. I sat, stunned, and then thought, bloody ‘ell, he’s got summat there, and no mistake!

And then it progressed. When you’re particularly stressed you can use his new variant – “oh my frog and dog”. Excellent. These F words do lend themselves to the expression of exasperation very well, I have to say. So when, two hours later, I came out wi “oh my frog an’ dog”, I were well pleased wi’ it. It’s fab. It’s my new word of the month!

And then I got this:


Which Trainspotting Character Are You?


That’s it. Thought I’d be original and NOT post a picture of Pluto the dog. Mostly cos that’s Disney, and Disney are evil and must be punished. Like Manchester United. And celery.

Peach and lube ~ I’m all back to normal now. Don’t ask.

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1 'aye's:

FOUR DINNERS said...

Death to celery! 'Orrible stuff. Brussel sprouts are worse though. Evil veggies.

Poor Pluto. woof