Theatre, Phrases, Phones and Films

First off, ta to a top bloke and thesp friend, I have tickets to see the closing performance of ‘My Fair Lady’ at the Hong Kong Academy for Performing Arts, Wan Chai. Bloody marvellous. Can’t wait – matey even sneaked me a programme so I could get a squiz at all the songs included. Excited as fuck, I can tell you – although it will be a bit of a sitting-and-concentrating marathon, I think I could put up with it for the chance to sit through some bloody great theatre and of course songs.

Onto the Phrase of the Week then:

This was provided by a wee lad who thought he was being terribly polite, as taught by his parents that he should always be when talking to teachers. Lovely kid. Anyway, when most kids his age want the loo, they simply put up their hand and shout ‘toilet!’. Now, what would you do? Let ‘em get away with it, and just say, “alright then, be quick”? Or do what I do, and say, “no, my name’s Souxie” (or whatever your name happens to be)? After all, they need to understand that not everyone is on their wavelength, right? It makes ‘em realise they have to learn the magic phrase ‘may I go to the toilet please?’ and then everything is easy. Right? Right?

Anyway, this one wee lad is a lovely little chap. Cheerful, plays well with others, and is no trouble to anyone. Such a rare soul. Anyway, he lifts his hand and says, “Teacher, I dig your panda.” Then he looks at me expectantly.
“Wow,” I say, “ta very much. No, wait a minute, I don’t have a panda.” After a round of hilarious questioning, in which zoo animals, spades, cartons of Milo drink and toilets were all acted out by both sides, I realised he thought he was saying ‘I beg your pardon.’

I think I like ‘I dig your panda’ better though.

In other news, bought meself a new phone. A Samsung E908, to be exact (that’s an E900 if yer outside Hong Kong). It were a bit of a bind getting it all sorted out, mind. I ended up going to the Sunday shop and just waving it at the lad therein, moaning ‘make it work’ in a ‘make the bad man go away’ type voice. He did. It took him precisely five seconds to set up the MMS stuff, then the GPRS stuff so as I could download ringtones and wallpaper and that. I now have Han Solo waving at me from the background. Aw, cottons, eh?

But ringtones. I’m sorry, Samsung, but what the hell were you thinking? A bunch of useless crappy jingles that sound like they’re been recorded from the lift in the local restaurant? Not impressed, mate, unbelievably so. Have been to my favourite haunt, YeahMobile.com, and got meself some cracking choons. And oh yes, Bluetooth, while we’re at it. This new thing has Bluetooth. My Mac doesn’t.

Stop! Stop right there! Don’t tell me ‘yes, it must do cos it’s a Mac and it’s new’ – no, it doesn’t and I’ll tell you how I know. Cos when I bought the bloody thing going on two years ago now, I chose not to have it cos I wouldn’t need it. Yeah, go on, call me short-sighted. But it took two years for me to actually need it, so that’s my reply. Anyway, can’t shift me mp3s onto it, so I guess ‘The Last Bus’ by Milburn will have to wait till I can get me mate to Bluetooth it to me from his MacBook Pro.

Onto last bit o news then, and then I have to go to work (and we’re getting into ‘once more unto the breach’ territory now it’s Christmas month).

Films To Watch: ‘Flushed Away’, ‘Casino Royale’ and ‘Confessions of Pain’. ‘Flushed Away’ is just a guilty pleasure cos I like Aardman stuff, and even though this isn’t stop-motion, I can see their influence in the trailer. ‘Casino Royale’, cos apparently it’s the most blatant celluloid release of girlie-porn (i.e., porn that girls like to watch, like sweaty men fighting in white shirts, etc.) since ‘Troy’, and ‘Confessions of Pain’, cos it has Tony Leung and Kaneshiro Takeshi (Gam Sing-Mo) in it. And we love Tony Leung time, baby. Oh, and that Kaneshiro Takeshi bloke int bad, either. Thing is, it were a problem before cos it was set to open the same night as ‘Casino Royale’. What's a girl to do? Go fer Mr Blonde Bond or Tony "I'm not always a Triad" Leung? Sensing my pain, the good people at UA changed their minds, and now ‘Casino Royale’ opens the day before, on Wednesday, 20th December. Bloody marvellous.

Peach and luuuuuuuuuube...

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