View from the afternoon – or rather, seat number 34E


So I’m back, and I’m not completely jet-lagged. Spot the immediate lie.

While ont plane from Blighty back to HK, I were lucky enough to get this on-demand entertainment thingy (it were BA, but seeing as I’ve never suffered their service before, I wouldn’t know about these touch-screen thingies). Suffice to say, after a thirty minute delay whereby they had to reload the entertainment system cos it was bollocksed, I did eventually get access to what they advertised as three hundred films and TV programmes. This is after I’ve changed me headset twice cos it didn’t work, and complained that me seat were knackered an’ all – it would not stay upright. Seriously man, if I so much as let me back touch the seat it started reclining. Not good during take-off. Ever tried leaning against the angle so yer not touching yer seat? The words ‘snowballs’ and ‘Hell’ flashed through me head.

Anyway, these films. I was delighted to find that not only could I watch ‘Waitress’ (the ‘Nathan Fillion does not do horror or sci-fi’ flick), but I could also get ‘Hot Fuzz’, the Simon Pegg ‘actioner’. I also got ‘Shrek 3’, but never mind, eh.

So, reviews. I’ll dispense wi the ‘3 word summaries’ in favour of a quick paragraph on each.

Waitress first, then. The cast: simply ace. The deadpan deliveries from the waitressing trio of Keri Russell, Cheryl Hines and Adrienne Shelly (who wrote and also directed it, but tragically died in 2006), were absolutely fab. Very cutting, witty and true-to-life. Well, I imagine so if you live in the south of America and are working as a waitress, trapped in a loveless marriage and unexpectedly pregnant. Nathan Fillion does a fantastic job of just looking good enough to lick all over, and when he’s not doing that, he’s delivering lines with either hectic nervousness or suave abandon. *insert wistful sigh here*

Andy Griffith was superb, an' all. And although the plot were quite predictable and a little thin at times, I would recommend this to all me mates, seeing as they’re all girlier than me and watch this kind of slush on a whim, rather than being strapped into a Boeing 747-400 30,000 from the ground and having to choose between Nathan Fillion and yet another shitty US shoot-em-up.

Next!

Hot Fuzz then. Absolutely fucking ace. I can’t remember the last time I laffed so much at one film. It were witty, fast, edited by a demon and just all banged together so bloody well. The ending were a little weird, but I’m getting over that. The range of well-known faces and lines, not to mention film parodies (oh sorry, homages), just left me gasping. Fucking great entertainment, and all non-US. Can’t say fairer than that, now can you?

And so onto the disappointment – Shrek the Third. I weren’t expecting much, seeing as the last sequel were not quite so good as the original. But even then I were let down. The jokes and characters just kinda flew by wi’owt a smile or blink from me. Maybe it had summat to do wi me being ont plane, but I just couldn’t raise a laff. And this was after the excellentness that was Hot Fuzz. Nope, just not the entertainment it were supposed to be.

And so to other things, which you know are basically going to end up being about Doctor bloody Who. First off, again watched the 2006 Christmas Special, ‘The Runaway Bride’ last night, and have to say that I were right all along and Donna int such a bad bird after all. I mean, once all the imminent danger had been averted. She did tell him off for being a vengeful god of fury, and wasn’t as thick as Lance made out. So there. And she invited him in for Christmas dinner.

And then on to Stephen Moffat, who’s been reduced to leaving messages on Outpost Gallifrey’s own fan forums in a bid to quash rumours about the god that is Russell T. Davies leaving, and of course the series being axed after series four, and of course David Tenninch Tennant leaving. Oh, and James Nesbitt NOT being Eleven. Oh, and Dennis Hopper NOT being int series. Anything else? Oh yes – and this is a REAL DOOZY OF A SPOILER, people, so be warned:

According to The Sun (A.K.A. best source for sometimes kinda right, sometimes complete shite rumours), Sir Ben Kingsley – yes, you read that right – has been approached, nay, is being negotiated with right now to star in series four. As none other than Davros. See? I bloody well knew they couldn’t leave daleks alone. It had to be done. Couldn’t they give ‘em a rest for one series, and give us some new monsters/aliens to become iconic in another ten years’ time? Do we always have to dredge up the favourites? I swear to Sean, purr wee Davey Doctor is going to start getting a complex. No wonder he weren’t least bit surprised when the Master returned, when daleks are basically the New Who equivalent of toilet paper on yer shoe. Personally, I think Sir Ben being in it is a bit of an outside chance at best, seeing as he’s looking pretty booked up these days. When it finally gets rejected (or confirmed) by the Beeb on their jolly news page, I’ll believe it. I mean come on, even I could do with a rest from daleks fer a bit. I’m getting dalek-lash. (And now I’ve got that bloody song ‘Cush-lash’ in me head from ‘Jerry Ma-bloody-guire’).

Not spoiler-laden at all – but really rather touching – is Colin Baker’s account of bumping into them filming the 2007 Christmas Special in Cardiff (see, told you Wales were water-logged, arf arf). He dunt give owt away, but it’s a lovely read. I liked the bit about being ever so slightly jealous of seeing another, new actor playing his part and loving it as much as he had done. Aww, cottons, eh?

And I think I really should get to bed, cos I’m supposed to be making a vague attempt not to be a slave to my jet-lag.

That’s it then – peach and lube to them as deserve it.

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