Saturday, 23 May 2009

The darkness and the light

I normally have quite a good time int shower. We’re not quite talking Dean Winchester levels of enjoyment, but it’s normally a highlight of my day to get in there and splash about. Unfortunately, my shower has decided to go all Evil Bathroom Facility this last week.

Imagine, if you will, that you’re enjoying a nice warm jet of soapy water. It starts to heat up and suddenly blasts the hottest shock of super-heated near-steam you’ve ever scalded yourself with. Worth a few shouts and epithets, I think. Especially as the only way to stop it is to turn off the water and start again from scratch, trying to edge it off STONE FUCKING COLD to somewhere semi-comfortable.

Is that asking too much? Well, obviously, seeing as every shower now is turning into a cross between a mad dash from side to side in a thankfully rubber-matted cubicle and a competition to shout the foulest sentences at the highest volume.

Anyway, onto lighter things. During a discussion about earthworms (don’t ask), a few students and I came up with a fantastic idea to help predict earthquakes. ‘Everyone knows that cockroaches can sense a quake about to occur’, says a student. So I say, let’s get the government to give out millions of wee high-vis jackets to the cockroach population at large. At the first whiff of a tremor, these little legends of self preservation will take to the streets, waving their hands int air and screaming like girls as they holler ‘Run away! Run away!’ And because they’re wearing their little fluorescent jackets, everyone will see them and know that a quake is imminent.

Good idea? I thought so.

That’s it for now. Got Parents’ Day int early morning. On a Sunday.



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