I envy people who Believe. I really do. Cos every day I have to add things to my list of REASONS THERE IS NO GOD.
Don’t get me wrong. I want to believe, as the poster in Mulder’s office once sang. I do. I want to believe in an all-powerful, omnipotent being that gives a shit about us down here.
I really do.
So where is s/he?
Sometimes you feel more alone than you deserve. You can ‘pay it forward’, do your best, whatever. But trust me, sweetheart, it’s not going to make any difference. You can spend you whole fucking life looking after your family, doing what’s best for them, putting aside your apparently petty concerns and working for the Greater Good. And you know what you get at the end of it all?
hoooonnnnkkkk! YES! Exactly! Tell him what he’s won, Johnny! Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Fuck-all. Nowt.
Cos we know, you and I, that there’s nothing and no-one after the Great Beyond. Once you die, you die. What, you didn’t read the small print? Well boo-fucking-hoo. Here’s ten dollars: go call someone who gives a shit.
Cos I’m all out.
Have been for… ooooh, going on fifteen years, now.
You want me to give a pair of foetid dingo’s kidneys? REALLY?
Not going to happen. Not after the shite I’ve seen.