Free dumplings

Boys and girls of every age - wouldn’t you like to see something strange?

Come with us and you will see - this our town of Kennedy--

So this is me. If you look like it really matters, you’ll see a girl. Not short, and definitely not thin by any stretch of the imagination. She’s eating a double cheeseburger from McDonald’s, determined not to have a hangover tomorrow for work. And as she’s staring at a Cafe de Coral shop, closed, cleaned and dark, she’s trying to divine the meaning of the Cantonese advert in the window, an evening of vodka and shots gratis from Johnny notwithstanding.

So imagine her surprise when, after finishing her fries, a young Hong Kong woman approaches her and offers her a dumpling.

First reaction: The girl’s off her head. She doesn’t know what she’s doing.

Second reaction: Don’t get your mivonks in a twist, she’s offering food that she obviously bought at the stall round the corner in a 2-for-1 and doesn’t need - but in an HK kind of way, can’t say ‘no’ to.

Third reaction: take it and thank her. You can always bin it if you don’t like it. Later.

End result: thank her and try eating it (after an inspection as close as vodka will allow), find it’s actually very good, and eat all of it.

If I wake up dead tomorrow, it’s all down to altruism.

Which, obviously, you can’t blame me for.