Conversations of the week (2)



“I’m sorry I keep calling you ‘Dave’ - your real name keeps escaping me. It’s…?”
“Dean.”
“Oh. Really?”
“Yes, really. Why?”
“Oh, nothing. It’s just that… you don’t look like a Dean.”
“What does a Dean look like?”
Silence.
“Mate?” he says. “You alright?”
“Yeah,” I say. “Sorry. Just having A Moment there.”


“Scholes can come to Oldham if he wants. In fact, he can probably do just about owt he wants without any bugger being able to say ‘no’. If I said he’d earned it I’d be massively understating the situation.”


“So us ‘Supernatural’ fans crashed Twitter, did we? That’s cos P Diddy is a twat and he just exacerbated the situation. Should have been arsed to read the fucking context of the tweets before picking a fight with fans of a fucking TV show. Ignorant fucker. Yeah, I was one of the sad fans that helped overload Twitter’s servers on 10th September, and contributed to its piss-poor censoring of the trending topics in a vain attempt to stop us having fun and promoting the show this 17th September - and yeah, next week I’ll fucking well be doing it again.”



“You know, your screwed-up sense of humor [sic.] and bizarre narrative would suit a ‘Farscape’ fan-fic really, really well. Ever thought of writing one?”
“Me? Fuck, no. How could you come close the ‘smoked crack the night before writing down some shite, now let’s paint it Technicolor, film it in MuppetVision and call it an episode’-ness that is the ‘Farscape’ show?”
“So… I’ll give you a week, yeah?”
“Aye.”



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