Friday, 6 November 2009

Dear world: STOP IT

You’re not clever and you’re not fucking funny, pal. This week’s craptacular list of people/things as have contributed to my need to spork some fucker in the eye:

3 Hong Kong:
Fix your fucking log-in page so I can contact you to tell you to fix your fucking log-in page - seeing as I can't get through on the phone (THERE'S IRONY FOR YOU). And stop sending me random bloody texts about some sodding special offer that is about as special as my arse.

Stop letting me log in and then logging me out again when I press ‘save’ on the dashboard screen, before claiming my password is wrong. Like fuck it’s wrong! Or did you just commit computer password-bot fraud by letting me in with it FIVE FUCKING MINUTES AGO?

Michael Jackson:
You can fuck a long way off, mate. You. Are. Dead. Stop following me around and showing films and shite about what a completely wonderful suspected paedophile and all-round alien performer you were. You’ve done the dying bit, now do us all a favour and do the fucking off bit.

Stop sending me post for some random bloke whom I have never met. I have stopped returning his post to you clearly marked, and can only hope that the lazy fucker being cut off for non-payment will prompt him to call you and give a proper bloody address. Either way, I really could not give a fuck.

Stop having girlie tantrums and halting the server when it gets busy. IT’S YOUR JOB. DEAL WITH IT. I don’t ask you to fix my sodding fridge, do I? Do I ask you to check my net connection? No. All I want is for you to continue doing YOUR JOB.

The CW:
Why have you chosen to take ‘Supernatural’ off the air from 19th November until 14th January? ARE YOU OFF YOUR MEDS?

And since when has winning ‘The World Series’ meant you only play teams from your own country? Talk about fucking wank-arrogant.

That concludes the rant for this week. I need me some girlie porn now. Meet the new stuff - not the same as the old stuff (Supernatural 5x08 sporfle).



1 comment:

Four Dinners said...

hahahahaha enjoyed that!

I love a woman gettin all feisty!...;-)

By the way. Twitter did some good. It made a politician say some'at sensible.

A few weeks back on Absolute (formally Virgin) Radio, Tory leader David (I'm not really a clone of Princess Tony) Cameron was asked if he twittered.

His response was classic.

"No. There are far too many people on Twitter already and too many twitters make a twat"

I'm so so tempted to vote for the dick after that!

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