Tuesday 1 June 2010

Movie Catch-Up



Evenin’ all. The reason I’ve not been here so often of late is cos I’ve been busy. Normally that means arsing around, generally being pisht or otherwise incapable of writing owt down. However, recently this has been down to three major loves of my life: going to the pictures, drinking, and trying to finish writing a book. No really. Don’t laugh. I said don’t!

So this will be my mini-mini-mini movie review catch-up then. I have a shitload of cinema tickets spread out on my desk, so now’s the time to get them jotted down and sorted. Oh, in case you’ve just joined us: these are all Monday Movie Mob escapades. Yes, we do actually go every Monday evening.


So here we go then:

8th March, ’10: Alice in Wonderland (3D)
Official verdict? The first time 3D has worked for me at all, and a pretty good film to boot. Stephen Fry was a bonus. No, a bargain. No wait, a bargus.
“SPOON!”

15th March: Shutter Island
Official verdict is HERE.

22nd March: The Hurt Locker
Official verdict? Fucking ace.

29th March: Fantastic Mr Fox
Official verdict? Fucking ace. With George Clooney on top.
“I can fit through there. Do you know why? Cos I’m LITTLE.”

12th April: Clash Of The Titans (3D)
Official verdict? 3D was fucked - the front of Ralph Feines and the pegasus’ heads kept wobbling away from their rears, respectively. Other than that, pretty ok. Prefer the old version though. Bah.

19th April: A Serious Man
Official verdict? Pretty fucking funny, and even though I didn’t get the Job reference (being an atheist and a bit ignorant about these things) I did enjoy it a lot.
“He’s a fucker! And he’s a fucker too! The Rabbi’s a dirty fucker!”

26th April: The Ghost Writer
Official verdict? Pierce Brosnan - yay! Ewan McGregor - yay! Plot - uhm, ok. Ending - booo! But Ewan got his arse out. So yay, then.

3rd May: Iron Man 2
Official verdict? Pretty fucking good. Not quite as good as the first one, but only cos the whole Iron Man thing was no longer new. Sam Rockwell = excellence. Clever scripting and banter = awesome!sauce.
“I was here first - get a roof!”

10th May: Let The Right One In
Official verdict? Creepy and chilly, excellently done, great idea well described, terrific/horrific ending.
“What happens if I say you can’t come in?”

17th May: Robin Hood
Official verdict? Russell Crowe sounded a little Scouse-cum-Irish at times, but did an excellent job as always. In leather pants. Did I mention the leather pants? And the bows and arrows. Fucking fab. And Joshua from Dark Angel was Little John. And Mark Addy from The Full Monty was Friar Tuck. Does it get any more fun?

24th May: I Love You, Phillip Morris
Official verdict? Fucking nearly died TWICE cos I was laughing so hard I cried till I couldn't breathe any more (golf sand traps, and proper nicely-done romantic dancing luuuurve moment to the sounds of "My word is my motherfucking bond, asshole!"). Teared-up toward the end with Unshed Emo Tears of Girl Pain, but they were proper Unshed, you bastards. And Ewan was cuter than a blanketful of kittens and new Pavel Chekov combined. Very very good. I will be buying this DVD.
“Or you can just suck his dick. It’s your choice.”

31st May: Prince Of Persia
Official verdict? Fuck me, where did Jake Gyllenhaal learn proper off-London like that? Good boy! Also, running jumping sword fighting daggering swaggering puppy eyeing bicep flexing bodice rippling Indy Jonesing fab-ness. Yes, we liiiiked it.

Don’t think there’s anything on next week - so one week’s break to run our Ewan McGregor Marathon of Awesomeness. And then 14th sees The A Team. Oh yes. It’s on!

Peach and lube, everyone, peach and lube.

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