CHEER UP AND DANCE

I know I’m shouting but I don’t care - Aaron Kwok has just done a charity concert from the end of Harbour City in Hong Kong and I got to see it live.

One hour long and all proceeds going direct to the Aaron Kwok Charity Fund, the goal was to raise more than Sam Hui’s concert held a few weeks ago. At time of writing, 90 mins after the concert ended, the number are still rolling in.

Anyway - link to the concert is here. You don’t have to donate to watch it, but if you do (through PayPal's Xoom service for overseas bank account deposits) then well done and thank you.

Hopefully this will not be the last time I see a live Aaron concert.

ENJOY

對你愛不完 - Love You Endlessly

I miss Aaron Kwok (郭富城) concerts. I miss them so much I can taste them. The cheering, screaming or singing of the crowd; the waterworks, fireworks, stage hydraulics, safety harnesses, lighting; the costumes; the dancers; the atmosphere of total and utter love, adoration, enjoyment and pure unabashed joining in.

I miss all that. Hong Kong pop concerts are a spectacle and Aaron concerts are arguably the pinnacle; you don’t get someone sitting on a stool and playing guitar or piano, or someone singing their greatest hits plus new songs. You get interaction, excitement, fireworks, twisty-turny stages that lift, turn 360 degrees and then do it again vertically. You get audience participation (“which of the four sides of the audience shouts the loudest? Hmm, let’s find out shall we?”) and bong-bongs (inflatable tubes you can hit together), tiny lights, whistles and all kinds of noise-makers. You get wet as a certain Mr Kwok dances through water troughs so hard he douses the first five rows. You get your sign out with your country or a message of support spelt in LEDs so he can read it when you’re waving it. You get pure joy and exaltation running through your veins for the 3 plus hours he’s on stage.

He talks in between some of the numbers - he tells you he’s learnt an entire song on an instrument he doesn’t play, or had his hair shaved off again in another amusing pattern just for the concert series of 12 - 18 consecutive HK nights. He banters with the crowd, then tells you it’s just between him and the people who made it tonight, because he’s not going to let that bit go on the concert DVD / blu ray. He tells you who’s made his costumes for the event, who’s done the music, who’s trained all the dancers and helped him bring it all together.

And then he launches into another 3 - 5 songs, then does another costume quick-change before the next segment. He might appear from a secret entrance, or from behind the audience, or from the ceiling, or shot out of a spring-loaded trapdoor so that he’s thrown 10 feet straight up in the air before landing perfectly in his dancing shoes, ready for business. He dances like he doesn’t think he’ll get another chance in this life, and he makes it count - Every. Single. Time.

When the entire routine of himself, the dancers, the lights, the music, the audience is just right, you can see it on his face. It’s the most beatific expression you will ever see - he knows everything is on point, he knows the audience is screaming because it’s perfect, and he lets himself enjoy it. That’s what you can see on his face - like Gene Kelly’s smile as he looks up because he’s not even trying and it’s still perfection.

A recording can only tell you so much, of course. Everyone who’s ever gushed over a painting but also understands that it can only include what’s within the confines of the dimensions of the canvas, and leaves out so much more landscape and the feel of the weather, or the time of year, knows what I mean. The sounds, the smells, the atmosphere, that electric feeling of being part of a group of people elevated by excitement and enjoyment - in a harmless, fun way - can never be transferred to a recording. If you weren’t there, then you just didn’t feel it, it’s as simple as that. —And I say that as someone who wasn’t always able to get to every concert I wanted. I can tell - the collection of Aaron concerts on my shelves have different feelings associated with each of them, depending on whether I attended or had to settle for the recording. (Every recoding I bought was signed personally by him - but those are a different set of stories.)

In short - I miss Aaron Kwok concerts. I miss them so much I can taste them.

Soopytwist.

Hong Kong film review: The Bare-Footed Kid (赤腳小子) 1993

This film is 25 years old - 25. When you think of all the movies that have come and gone in that time you really have to wonder if this will hold up against movies of the same kind. Let’s have a sit down, have a nice cup of tea, and find out as we play buy it from iTunes and hope for the best. Full disclosure: I first saw this film about fifteen years ago, and I’m curious to see what time and distance have done to nostalgia.

Because I’ve tried to fit in as many screenshots as possible, feel free to click on them to embiggen.




First off, this is a Shaw Brothers production. That alone should let you know what you’re in for: some pretty amazing kung fu, lots of noble characters being fucked over by the bad ones, social injustice and people abusing their position of power, and gratuitous wewungwung. What is wewungwung? A term popularised in the pleasantly entertaining HK film And I Hate You So (小親親, 2000), wewungwung is the combination of noises that audio artists put on movie soundtracks when kung fu masters are facing off against each other - the sounds of metal blades on metal, of swishy feet doing slippery kung fu moves in the dirt, of general fighting and combat. In a word: wewungwung.

At its core this is a political thriller (and romance between the heavy weights) that shows you the impact bad politicians have on the little people. In order to do this, it draws on such stellar talent as Maggie Cheung Man-Yuk (who you may know from such films as In the Mood For Love 花樣年華, Hero 英雄, and a whole host of other high-brow movies) as the boss of a dye manufacturing company. Her colours come out so much better than everyone else’s due to a handed-down family secret, one that she can’t tell anyone. However, she does spill the beans to Ti Lung (狄龍)’s character (you may know him from 60,000 other Shaw Brothers films), basically because she’s trying to hint politely that she fancies him and he’s being much too gentlemanly about the fact that he already fancies her.

The conflict of the story is kicked off by a young lad, fresh from his own village, whose dad has just died. Before he did, he told his son to look up Ti Lung and claim some kind of fatherly gift. This son doesn’t know why his dad entrusted it to Ti Lung or even what it is. The young lad arrives in the village and immediately catches the eye of Lady Boss Maggie Cheung by getting thrown out of a food queue. It turns out he’s literally only got the clothes he’s standing up in without shoes - that’s right, you’ve just met the bare-footed kid. She takes pity on him and gives him food; he’s so young and naiive that he’s instantly touched by her kindness. This is interesting, as I wonder if this set him up for so many falls later on - the first person he met in town was nice to him. He’s a complete bumpkin and doesn’t understand things like lying, double-crossing or politicking. The side effect of this is that he's the happiest, most helpful person you’ll ever meet - and also dives right in to protect or stand up for someone if he thinks Bad Things are happening. And if you're already thinking that’s going to get him into trouble one day then you’re not wrong.

This adorable, charming little bundle of sunshine and helpfulness is played by Aaron Kwok (郭富城), and very well - you’ve never seen a smile so wide when he’s somehow helped or eyebrows so abused when he’s struggling to understand why people are arseholes. He bumbles along, trying to track down Ti Lung with just an address given to him by his father. He bumps into a bloke in the street and asks him to tell him where it is - unbeknownst to him, the young dude he’s just accosted is actually the ever-impressive Jacklyn Wu (吳倩蓮 - you may know her from such movies as A Moment of Romance 天若有情 I, II, III, Jiang Hu 江湖, etc.), who has dressed as a bloke to enable her to gad about town with her best mate.

A bit of a struggle ensues as she’s desperate to make a break for it before she’s found out - but poor Aaron is even more desperate to find out where Ti Lung is. He makes a grab for ‘the dude’s’ shirtfront and accidentally pushes her in the chest. When he realises what his hand is smushed up against, a look of childlike panic takes over his face and he lets go like he’s been slapped - and he very nearly is. Instead she runs off and he’s left kicking himself for being impolite to a lady.

He eventually finds Ti Lung and in doing so gets a job with Lady Boss at her dye factory. It’s not long before he has to sign an order form and that’s when the audience learns he can’t read or write. Undaunted, he finds a local school and tries to join - and you’ve guessed who the teacher is, right? Jacklyn Wu, now dressed as a woman, recognises him immediately (he has no clue who she is) and when he gushes about wanting to learn to write his name so he’ll ‘be somebody’, she calmly asks him what it is and then writes it out for him. She gives him the paper and tells him to come back when he can write it. Still none the wiser, he does just that.


When he strolls back into the school, carrying a gift basket of flowers for her and feeling accomplished, she asks him in front of all the little children to write his name out for them all to see. He does - and the kids nearly wet themselves laughing. He can’t understand why until one of the kids tells him he’s written ‘dumbass’ instead.

His face goes from happy-proud to betrayed-vulnerable over the course of 5 hurtful seconds. If you look closely you can actually pinpoint the moment when his heart breaks due to his sudden understanding of the word ‘gullible’. She’s grinning with vindictive revenge but when she sees his reaction it only makes her happier. Instead of being angry, he just comes at her like a shamed puppy, asking her why she had to be so mean to him when he was only asking for help - her being so ejamukated and all. He slopes off and she’s left feeling like the git she is - and then she discovers the flowers he brought her and feels even worse. She assumes she’ll never see him again anyway, as most people that come to the town are there for a martial arts competition and once they’ve made enough money they leave again. But hey, she could always find him and apologise, right? After all, he seemed like a nice enough lad, and maybe she was a bit harsh…

Meanwhile the local magistrate is Up To No Good and is betraying people left, right and centre so that he doesn’t get found out. A new government official arrives in town and wants to root out corrupt officials, so a cat and mouse game ensues that begins to have knock-on effects for everyone: Lady Boss’ dye factory becomes the MacGuffin that everyone wants to buy or steal from her, bullies turn up regularly to try to wrest it from her, and people get into deep water by promising things they don’t have. Fights break out, friendships are underestimated and just when you think someone might get out of this alive and happy, the rug is pulled out from under your feet.

Some great acting here from the heavy-weights, and Aaron is no slouch in the reaction-face department. He’s also pretty nifty on his feet (comes from being a gifted dancer, I guess) so you get some good close-ups of the fight scenes because they have no stand-in or stuntman to hide. The wewungwung is great and I have to say, this is one I will be watching again as the fight scenes are awesome - this is mostly ‘credible’ kung fu, so you won’t see anyone flying off to land on roof tops or tackle 20-foot walls like they’re nothing. What you do get is a lot of pseudo-wing chun, some epic elbow and footwork from Aaron, and the feeling that this movie really isn’t as depressing as it should be, given the subject matter. The ending is typical Shaw Brothers ‘hero wins but not how you’d like’ - for the fiftieth time I was hoping against hope that this pulled of a miraculous ‘gotcha!’ at the end. I won’t spoil it for you on that front. The ending song was sung by Aaron as part of his studio deal - Leave Me With Some Respect (留下句號的面容), and like a good Bond film, a melody of it was used well throughout.

All in all, this was a case of grief, that was better than I remembered instead of not-stalgia (where something is nowhere near as good as you remembered it to be). I’ll wait till tomorrow to skip to the fights and watch them again.



Verdict: 9/10; fantastic wewungwung, great characters, pretty solid plot and nice execution. Nice final words from a character too - very in your face, bitch!. In fact my only gripe is that this appears to be the USA DVD version, as it’s been dubbed into Mandarin (don’t get me started on the redundancy of doing that when you can clearly see people’s mouths moving in Cantonese). But if I’d been less careless and managed to keep hold of my original HK version, I wouldn’t have had to buy it from iTunes so it’s my fault really.

And that’s it from me today - I do still have Cold War II to rewatch and review. Best get on it, then.

Soopytwist.

ALL THE CHOONS

A while back I got Spotify, the free version. I was curious as to why people wanted access to songs they could not keep or own. As it was the free version, I did not have access to what the company considered new or popular. This is apparently music from people such as Demi Lovato, Camila Cabello, Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran, Dua Lipa, etc. I’m sure these are all fine and worth listening to if you’re into that, but that’s not what I needed Spotify for.

I listen to a lot of foreign music - mostly from Hong Kong. In fact, pretty much all of it is from Hong Kong apart from the back catalogue and new releases from Jay Chou, from Taiwan. It’s either Cantonese (my first choice) or Mandarin but that doesn’t matter; the music may sound the same as all the other pop / rock stuff I listen to through my iTunes account (Seether, the unofficial Supernatural playlist, AC/DC, etc.) but it’s really not the same at all. Every track by Eminem, Take That or Justin Bieber is a reflection of their upbringing, their influences, and their experiences in music and beyond. So it goes with a lot of underground Hong Kong bands. Now they can get their stuff onto Spotify, it’s easier for people to choose what they want and share it with others.

What’s that got to do with me? Well for one, if I wanted to try out new music from HK then the only way was to go through iTunes and try the 30 - 90 second free-play snippets. Not great, as I normally need to hear an album a few times over before I decide if I like it or not. I do hear opening strains and think YES I NEED THIS, but it doesn’t happen very often. Songs, like people, and in fact most of life, has to grown on me.



So what Spotify is doing for me is letting me try hundreds of artists I may not have heard of, or if I have, never taken the plunge and bought stuff on iTunes to see if I like the album. I have done this a few times and ended up wiping most of the album as it wasn’t what I thought it was, and failed to grow on me.

Skip back to last week, just before Christmas. I received the usual marketing email from Spotify about going to Premium. This normally a tenner a month. I balked at that every time I received the email - £10 per month? For music I can’t even keep? WTF? No thanks.


And then a special offer came through - 99p for a three-month block of Premium. Hmm. After thoroughly reading the T&Cs (actually written in simple, brain-friendly English for a change), it was actually the equivalent of 33p each month for 3 months. If you didn’t cancel it after this time, it shot up to £9.99 per month. However, you could still cancel at any time.

Now 33p a month for the Premium service sounded great. I’m not going to lie; my plan is currently the same as probably everyone else who’s taken up this offer - wait just before the 3 months is up and then cancel, right? It’s what everyone does, and in the end it’s only cost you 99p to try out what all this streaming music malarky is all about. And this is where it gets interesting - what is this streaming malarky all about?

Once upon a time, people bought ‘hard copies’ of music - records, CDs, or minidiscs. Then it moved to ‘soft copies’ - mp3s from Amazon, iTunes and Google Store downloads, etc. Cloud storage and streaming access became the In Thing, and now we have services that deliver any artist, any tune, any track that used to be purchase-only, on near-instant demand through companies like Spotify, Pandora, Apple Music, Deezer, Google Play Music, and more. So why is this shift happening?


I was sceptical of streaming services before I got Spotify Premium - why would I want to listen to stuff but not own it? As I started to use it, I realised a lot of my questions were redundant; I didn't have to own it to be able to stream it, muppet; I didn’t have to pay per album to buy music any more, when for one charge a month I could have about 75% of the world’s music in my pocket; my iPhone 7 doesn’t use as much battery as I thought it would when streaming (literally 40% used in about 5 hours. Considering that’s streaming from a 4G connection and Bluetoothing it to my headphones or speakers at the same time, I’m quite happy with that). On top of all that, the fact that I can and do now try out a few new artists every time I log in, and have discovered a lot more music is MIND-BLOWING. I get bored easily, and although I have classics on my phone that I need to keep forever, now that I have this service I can sample so much more stuff, explore so much further, and not have to worry about barriers or boundaries.

That’s what I like the most; I can literally skip that one track on the album that's not doing it for me, try related artists, save albums I want to try over and over, test out performers or artists I’ve always been curious about - all for one price. For the consumer, it’s almost a dream come true. For the artists putting their wares on the service? The jury is still out - there has been quite a bit of criticism of how exactly artists should be paid for their work. I’m all for them getting a larger percentage of the profits when streamed by consumers, as for all the cost of servers and infrastructure, it has to be cheaper than owning factories and warehouses and people to create, pack, and ship hard copies to shops that may not sell them all. Having said that, I’m still on the platform. With heavy hitters like Taylor Swift renegotiating and forcing the service to change the way it operates, hopefully in a few years it will have a big difference on the revenues that artists receive. If not, then it could be back to purchasing albums the old-fashioned way for me - and by that I mean iTunes or alternative mp3 purchases like Amazon (depending on their royalty policies).

So getting back to what I’m using it for. Highlights: I’ve found a better way for me to stream Eason Chan (陳奕迅)’s back catalogue and new releases, giving me back about a third of my karaoke memories. Also helping is access to all my lost Aaron Kwok (郭富城) albums (most of the other 2 thirds of my karaoke memories) - and then there are the discoveries. I now have all music ever released by Hong Kong Punk-Pop / College Rock band ToNick (which is AWESOME), and of course everyone on my favourites playlist that’s been posted here.

The thing is, I know what will happen when my 3 months cheapie rate is up; I’ll decide that I’ve adjusted to the truly worldwide access levels I’ve got and I won’t want to give this up. The question is, is it worth £9.99 a month to be able to discover, create (and download) my biggest and broadest mixtape in history?

Who knows. I’m sure I’ll find out in February next year, though. Especially as I'm about to sort that Favourites playlist out and make it worth it.

Soopy twist.

Home Movies (III)

Here we are with another round-up of films - ones I’ve seen at home, rather than at the pictures. It may not surprise you to learn that these are not from the USA or UK.

The Adventurers (俠盜聯盟) (2017)

Andy Lau (劉德華) in an Andy Lau film about Andy Lau being Andy Lau - only this time, the charming git who is much too suave for his own good (ngaw, stop it Andy - oh go on then, carry on) is a thief who has morals and a looong history of getting away with everything - until that one time he didn’t. Jean Reno, Eric Tsang (曾志偉), Shu Qi (舒淇) and a host of back-ups make this film twisty, turny, action-packed and fun to watch. Worth watching for a good alternative to The (original) Pink Panther meets Mission: Impossible (1996), and for the bridge scene at the end.

Verdict: 8.5/10; could have been less obvious about some things, but I liked the fact that some key moments were much more realistic than Hollywood’s saccharine view of everything.

Buddy Cops (刑警兄弟) (2016)

Pure Hong Kong-style sarcasm, fun, and social commentary as Bosco Wong (黃宗澤) plays the hot-headed, bordering-on-arsehole copper Fei who gets into trouble one too many times and is transferred to the useless department, full of coppers the HK Police can’t sack. There he is soul-shreddingly irritated by Johnny, played by comedian and TVB go-to actor ‘King’ Kong Lee (金剛). When their single parents end up together, they not only have to try to find a way not to kill each other as new brothers, but also survive “typical ‘Kong’ girlfriends” and the Big Bad, who appears to be smuggling drugs buried in coffee. Full of bawdy jokes that would make Shakespeare proud, it’s also interesting to note how local HK media sees the role of ‘girlfriends’ and how things work between the battle of the sexes. I caught myself laughing out loud a few times; evidence perhaps that you don’t need a big budget to entertain - as the two main actors who have long careers with TV company TVB would already know.

Verdict: 7.5/10; It felt like it kind of lost its way in the middle, but then quickly got back to the overall plot when it realised the time.

Running Out of Time (暗戰) (2000)

What can you say about a classic that haunts you from your bookcase? It’s like an old friend, watching me as I walk past every day, noticing the times I look at the DVD case and then remember I have Things To Do. It doesn’t get upset that I don’t have time to rewatch it, it just lets me get on with stuff, knowing that eventually I will get back to it.

And I always do. There’s something sublimely awesome about this film, something quietly and subtly one of the best films I’ve ever seen. Andy Lau (yes, him again) is a jewel thief with a very short life expectancy - or is he? Sean Lau Ching-Wan (劉青雲) is just a copper who's too good at his job, so when debonair master-criminal Andy Lau decides to use him for The Greater Good, the game is on. I won’t tell you what The Greater Good actually is, as that would definitely spoil the entire film. Suffice to say, it’s probably not what you think - and when it is exactly what you think, it makes you happy to be sad. Yes, it’s one of those films.

Verdict: 9.5/10. Enough said.

Needing You… (孤男寡女) (2000)

Not a New Year film but pretty much almost there, this comedy with romance in it (not to be confused with a romantic comedy) is a complete giggle from start to finish. Andy Lau (leave me alone - the man makes 6 films a year on average, ok?) is allegedly a ‘womaniser’ and ‘slimy creep’, and also the manager of the sales floor in an office. Enter Sammi Cheng (鄭秀文), a misunderstood woman who gets transferred in from another department. She comes with emotional baggage like a boyfriend who treats her like furniture and yet cheats on her. Manager Andy decides enough is enough and steps in to help her ditch him. A complicated dating game ensues, with him being pursed by an ex and Sammi being pursued by the richest brat you’ve ever met (he doesn’t seem that way, but wait for it). Throw in a subplot about office politics (some of the verbal smackdowns he lays on the office gossipers are incredibly on point) and a cameo from… Andy Lau (you need to see it to understand) and you have a pretty funny escapade that leaves you smiling.

Verdict: 8/10. Seeing Sammi get her own back on the boyfriend and Andy kick the shit out of his own car in frustration never gets old - and for the bloopers they left in because, hey, why not?

Cat and Mouse (老鼠愛上貓) (2003)

Most definitely a New Year film, this has all the hallmarks of a classic rip-roaring piss take; Hong Kong actors playing ‘serious’ period drama characters, a very real, very snowy foreign film set (Beijing), witty Cantonese one-liners, gurning or doing complete scenes with their faces being the dialogue - what’s not to laugh at? Cecilia Cheung (張栢芝) is a dude in charge of a local gang complete with comfort women and henchmen, who the incredibly smart security officer of the royal court, Andy Lau, doesn’t even realise is in disguise. Andy gets bored of his prefecture being crime-free (even his sword protests not being used any more) and goes on holiday to find trouble. He lands right in it when he uncovers a plot by other courts to have his judge assassinated - and him too. Chapman To is brilliantly funny in this as Cheung’s inventive sidekick, and the banter that goes on between him and the other ‘henchmen’ is immeasurably hilarious. Honourable mention goes to Lei Bing Bing for playing perhaps the only straight face in the whole farce. Cecilia Cheung gets to flex some comedy muscles and excels.

Verdict: 9/10. Simple harmless fun from start to finish.

Firestorm (風暴) (2013)

Wow. How many buildings, cars, people, or innocent plant pots can you blow up over the course of 2 hours? Stick with this film to find out. Seriously, it’s a wonder Michael Bay didn’t call and ask for his explosives budget back.

Andy Lau Is a copper who’s been after The Big Bad, a gangster, for a while. After a poor sap with no way out ends up in jail, Andy becomes god-father to his daughter and looks after the autistic child with the usual patented Andy Perfection until her father is released. Meanwhile The Big Bad is ramping up his attacks and Andy simply Won’t Stand For It - but every time they try to arrest him, he slips their grasp or is released on a technicality. However, Andy is determined to stand firm and get him the right way. Or is he? When people stoop so low as to go after innocent (and uncomprehending) children, Andy decides perhaps it’s time to cheat just a little. But what do you do when it goes wrong? Things blow up, apparently - a lot of things, and often. But I have to say, it’s all in a day’s work and it doesn’t get boring at all.

Verdict: 8.5/10 - some awesomely planned action scenes, some moral ambiguity and an interesting ending. Bring on the blu ray.

Wesley’s Mysterious Files (衛斯理藍血人) (2002)

Oh. My. Life. You want a Syfy Original Movie with people forced to speak foreign languages (badly), poor CGI / FX and gaping plot holes? Then this is the film for you. I don’t know how many times I laughed, but I probably wasn’t supposed to. In a so-bad-it’s-good way, I did enjoy this film. After all, how many blue-blooded aliens get to kill off the director of the film when he’s doing his cameo?

Verdict: 5.5/10; sorry - making people struggle on in a foreign language is not my idea of a good time. They could have just spoken their own and made up some universal translator stolen from the blue-blooded aliens to get around it. *shrugs*

Peace Breaker (破局) (2017)

Probably the best kept secret of 2017, you won’t find this film listed on Aaron Kwok (郭富城)’s filmography or in fact anyone else’s. Which is a shame, because this remake of the Korean smash hit A Hard Day (走到盡頭) from 2014 is at times very black comedy, abruptly heart-breaking mood whiplash, and most of the time a gripping thriller. I say ‘gripping’ because I spent half of the film shouting advice at the TV (which Aaron ignored - rude) and the other half squeezing the life out of a cushion through sheer frustration. I can’t remember how many times I yelled ‘you’ve got X minutes left to find a way to fuck him over!’. Worth a watch for the coffin scene alone, anyone who’s ever started out a shitty day that got worse as the hours dragged on will probably enjoy this film. It almost slipped into parody once or twice, but then again, this was filmed out in Malaysia to get around the rigid Chinese censorship, so anything goes when you’re not forced to make everything about serving the Party well and being a good dog.

The trailer on YouTube is probably the only marketing this film is going to get - a great shame if you want both a giggle and an action-packed fun night in. And I have to say - a very good ending. Make sure you watch the credits to see the deleted scenes.

Verdict: 8/10 - it’s just so good to see Aaron Kwok in a new movie, but this stands up as one of the better ones.

That’s it for now - going to have to come back here soon and update with Cineworld adventures.

Soopytwist.

Storm Warriors

Aaron Kwok, wewungwung and the Pang Brothers. Sold.

Bought tickets, got to the cinema, fucking loved it. It has without doubt the most epicly beautiful scenes of wewungwung ever filmed.


It’s not the same as the first one - Storm Riders (and the name change for number two comes due to some argument over the rights to the title, I believe). It’s bigger, bolder, brasher, and of course, has more CGI. The brothers Pang obviously watched 300 about three hundred times and made copious notes. They did it well - aesthetically stunning with cinematography to die for. They left quite a few threads hanging at the end, so hopefully there will be another sequel at some point. As long as Bo Ging-Wan is back in the form of Aaron Kwok, I’ll be there. And if they could possibly find a way for Charlene Choi’s character to die, that’d be great.


My, my, Bo Ging-Wan, what a large sword you have.


At this point I have to point out that I'm jealous how amazing Aaron Kwok's wig looks. I wish my (real) hair did that.


Oh yes, almost forgot - Cheng Yi-Kin was back, too, as Nip Fung. His hair was also a main cast member, but not as impressive as Aaron's.

And I do have to point out that while Bo Ging-Wan (Aaron Kwok) was clad in far too many layers for most of the film, he did at least get his top off for some gratuitous sword practice for a few moments. It was worth the wait.

And that's about it. It's crazy late here and I just want to go to bed. Hopefully, I'll see you all again sooner than we think.

Peach and lube, everyone!

Tags:
Hong Kong ~ Storm Warriors ~ Storm Riders ~ Pang Brothers ~ Aaron Kwok ~ 郭富城

Stuff wot I've done

Bloody hell, I’ve not been here in ages. I do have reasons.

Saw ‘Jumper’ a while back. Verdict: not great, not very very poor, but somewhere in between. Good times: features wee Billy Eliot, all grow’d up and out-shining ‘I was Anakin Skywalker’ Boy as soon as he got there. Using The Streets’ ‘Lay Down The Law’ and opening the film with the bloody fab ‘Blackened Blue Eyes’ by The Charlatans. Bad times: Was I the only one who clocked (literally) that the clock on top of the Clock Tower (or “St Stephen’s Tower”) in London (the one attached to the bell called Big Ben) was showing half past the hour, but started chiming the hour anyway? And did someone edit out twenty minutes of much-needed explanation and/or reasons for… well, anything?

We saw Aaron (Aaron Kwok, Sing-Sing, Mr K., 郭富城, 城城, 舞台王者, 舞神, and any other nick-names he may have but I’ve forgotten to include) in concert last Saturday. To say he were bloody ace would be like saying “sea: big”. He danced, he sang, he bantered, he got all us girlies thoroughly, thoroughly drenched. By dancing in water, Gene Kelly style, I might add. Although we were quite damp in other places too, after watching him dance. Oooh, Mr K., you are bloody fab.

Ahem.

Also caught up on ‘Torchwood’ – last we saw were Martha Jones being absolutely bloody marvellous again, elbowing her way in and taking charge, being immune to certain things us normal people ain’t, and generally being fab like she used to be. Oh how we all love Martha. But did you clock wee Inspector Blythe, from the BBC series ‘Blackpool’ as Adam, just before? Hair’s all different, so it took me a minute, but there he is – DI Carlisle (David Tenninch Tennant)’s trusty sidekick research boy, in the flesh. Kinda.


But Owen? Owen? You’re going to kill him off? Really? Really? I’d just warmed up the stroppy bugger, and were even thinking he could be relied on for a few cheesy one-liners or simple distraction sub-plots while the big boys got on wi it. Now I’m pissed off – and I never thought I’d miss Owen. I’m just thanking the Powers That Be that it weren’t Ianto who got ganked – that would really have put me off the show for good. Pity it weren’t Gwen… Have to wait for this Saturday to get last week’s episode and the one just aired. Oh I hate time lags.

Talking of which, also caught up on (sort of) ‘Ashes To Ashes’. Episode three were ace, weren’t it? Weren’t it ace? I’m really warming to this Alex Drake bird, even if I found her a bit take-her-or-leave-her to begin with. With that slap and uppercut to the Gene Genie she really went up in me estimation – not to mention taking that toff home and shagging him to within an inch of his life, then turning up in shades the next day. Oh, my heroine. The Gene Genie’s still coming out with his Huntisms – I loved the crack about a kebab being “a pasty with its arse hanging out’. I’m sure there were hundreds more, cos I guffawed me way through it all, but I just cannot remember ‘em here. But Ray Carling and his sock puppets, eh? Who’d have thought?

And then onto other programmes as have been making me guffaw – and you knew this were coming, right? ‘Supernatural’, season three. How fucking fab is this series so far? It blows seasons one and two out of the water, hands down. Maybe cos it’s been in a ratings war, maybe cos its just got over the first two seasons’ familiarity and now has a chance to do more, but goddamn, if this ain’t some of the best writing and acting I’ve seen yet. Having Dean trapped in a basement with a demon, quietly discussing facts and futures (or lack thereof, in his case), was spine-tingling. His desperate clinging to every effort to make it seem like he’s relieved about going to Hell in under a year’s time is wavering between noble and heart-breaking. And if he has to tell Sam one more time to stop trying to find a way out of the deal, I’ll swing for Sammy on his behalf. Not a happy pair of Chuckle Brothers, those two, and it’s only going to get worse before owt’s sorted either way. The fifth episode, ‘Bedtime Stories’, had me in stitches at times, then thinking about blubbing, then jumping up and down ‘yay’ing as Sam took matters into his own hands.

I take back everything I ever said about Sam being a pansy-assed, book-loving pacifist. Oh yes. Sam is my new hero.

This is a Sam we’ve not seen before – and the whole ‘has he come back from the dead all evil, or has he not?’ thing doesn’t apply. It’s not evil, it’s desperation. No-one else can save Dean, that’s for damned sure, and if they could, how could Sam leave it to someone else anyway? This Ruby girl has her own agenda which is being toyed with by my imagination, but she’d better be careful if she thinks she’s just going to arse about with Sam, dangle carrots and then disappear like she doesn’t owe him owt. He’s nearly shot her before with the re-built Colt, and it’s a bloody good chance he’s thinking about doing it again, properly this time. Poor young men full of frustration and rage are not the people you want to stand in front of when they’re holding a loaded gun.

Having said that, he has dug up a lot of very useful info, some of which is going to be very instrumental in finding a way out of Dean’s deal. I am confident that, if anyone could find it, it’s going to be Sam. Although… Naw, forget it. I’m just grasping at straws. I just don’t want Dean to go down (at least, not like that, arf arf!) – who does? You know when you have a job, and you politely ignore that fact that, while it’s fun at times, it’s just not what you really want to do until you die? And then summat happens and you resign. Then it’s smiles all round – you only have to work yer notice and yer out of there. Excellent! No more caring about who’s going to be on shift in a fortnight, who’s going to get the parking space out by Smokers’ Corner, who’s going to have to perform the Month End shite. How fab is that? I mean, Dean’s in a similar post-resignation rut right now, but he can get out of it again. At least, I hope he can.

That’s about it, I think. Have to get to bed, this is getting on fer an essay. Just have to post shorter more often, I spose. I am trying, but this thing called ‘Real Life’ keeps getting int way. Don’t you hate it when that happens?

Soopytwist.

BBC ~ Hong Kong ~ TV ~ David Tennant ~ A2A ~ Torchwood ~ Supernatural ~ Sam Winchester ~ Dean Winchester ~ Aaron Kwok ~ Jumper

Damn, double damn and an extra pint of damn fert weekend

It’s been a while, I know. I have issues.

One of them being that just for once in this shitty existence I’d like summat to go my way. Is that too much to ask? Well clearly it is.

Major shit’s going on and I don’t have time or inclination to fight it. Seems like it was all decided long ago. So just one tiny, infinitesimal bit of good news would have been nice. Like Aaron Kwok winning the Best Actor Golden Horse tonight in Taiwan. A shallow, superficial bit of good news to make me smile – that would have gone down nicely.

But no.

Winner of tonight’s Golden Horse Award for Best Actor was in fact wee Tony Leung Chiu-Wai (not to be confused with Tony Leung Ga-Fai), for his portrayal of the Chinese blokee working fert Japanese while shagging Tong Wei in a variety of positions and places. I like Wee Tony, I love Wee Tony, but it would have put a warmer smile on me face if Mr K had won instead.

Still, at least I’m back blogging. Gotta be better than the constant drinking and ignoring the world I’ve been trying. Which hasn’t worked. I’m better now. Much. So much so, in fact, that I haven’t had a vodka.

I’ve had six.

Every little helps.

Tags:
Hong Kong ~ Asian Cinema ~ Aaron Kwok ~ 郭富城 ~ Taiwan ~ Golden Horse Awards ~ The Detective ~ 郭富城 ~ C+偵探 ~ Oxide Pang ~ Tony Leung Chiu-Wai ~ Ang Lee ~ Lust Caution

Hail to the King God of Dance

It may not have escaped your notice that I do like certain elements of the Cantopop scene over here. And sometimes, them as sing the songs are a cut above. It will not be a surprise to you that I went down and shouted, screamed and pang-panged (or bong-bonged, for the non-Chinglish speakers) my way through three hours of the most amazing, fun, nostalgic, attractive entertainment you can get in this territory.

For three hours I jumped up and down, sang, squeezed, jiggled, laughed, cried and nearly put my back out, until the very satisfying conclusion where I eventually got wet. And my right wrist is now back in my RSI support.

I’m talking, of course, of an Aaron (郭富城 / Mr. K / Ah Wong / 阿王 / Sing-Sing / 城-城 / 郭舞神) Kwok concert. Having been to all of his 2004 and 2005 shows, I had to get tickets to this one. Most of you know I have a weakness for fit blokes giving stirring renditions of stonking Cantopop dancey anthems, so I am not apologising for any pictures I might have used in this post.

Right from opening with his latest song ‘舞林正傳’ he proved that, (1), it’s not your age, it's your abs, and (2) he’s still the Greatest Dancer. From there he pounded out the hits, golden-oldies and new alike. For the first time in history, I saw him do ‘你是未來’ on stage as he wheeled out the alternative hits. Last time he did just his chart-toppers in concert – this time it was more like the fans’ choices, the B-side faves of album efforts previously unreleased as singles, or the songs everyone loves at the end of the album but never hears performed. And we loved him for it. Tracks like ‘極度哀艷的晚上’ and ‘神經’ were just magic on the ears, and seeing as he did the latter from inside the stage which morphed into a slowly revolving cage, we were enthralled. Long-forgotten gems like ‘臨行’ and ‘純真傳說’ had us jumping up and down in excitement from barely the first few strains.

Then there were the golden-oldies – and oohh, the memories – like ‘國王的新歌’, ‘有效日期’, ‘風裡密碼’ and the hopelessly catchy ‘I Love You So (太愛你)’, that just compounded an already fab line-up. Stonking jumpy-jump-jump choons like ‘鐵幕誘惑’ and ‘絕對美麗’ left not one seated person in the place – or a quiet one, neither.

And to make sure everyone got a bit of what they wanted, he sneaked in some mainstream hits too. ‘望鄉’ and the infamous ‘我為可讓妳走?’ (this time without the saxophone – but he did play the piano himself for a feathery go at ‘三岔口’ – fair play to him, he learnt the one song for the concert) were fan-bloody-tastic. ‘失憶諒解備忘錄’, ‘到底有誰能夠告訴我’ and the obligatory ‘愛的呼喚’ just kept us squeeeing, entranced.

We’d been warned, rather vaguely mind, about the end, but just why didn’t become apparent until we saw people in the seats in front and to the right of us putting on those thin rain poncho things they give you at splash-rides at the local theme park. Yeah, we were about to get wet. When he popped up the trapdoor standing in three inches of water, people got the idea. But I’m willing to bet not a lot of people actually gave a shit about the water, seeing as he was in a white shirt and trousers, and it took less than a minute for him to have danced his way see-through. ‘狂野之城’ and ‘著迷’ provided the soundtrack as he kicked, flicked and swept, and basically drenched the first four rows of the audience – all on their feet and really not feeling a flicker. Gene Kelly would have been proud.

When he slid his way down the slight ramp to the stage proper and whipped out the towel, it was a free-for-all. Spraying the crowd while dancing and singing, most people were simply trying to see through his shirt. Did he care? Did he bloody hell as like – that’s why he wore it in the first place, to give the people what they want. And he did. He really did. The banging simplicity and giddy fun of ‘動起來’ and ‘唱這歌’ just brought all the splashing and wiggling into time, and it was a very wet, but very satisfied crowd that pleaded with him not to leave the stage just yet. I doubt the Hung Hom Coliseum has seen so much dance porn in such a short space of time. Well, since his 2005 concert, anyway...

Costumes abounded. Not always my first choice (especially the spiky yellow ninja outfit) but he wore all of them so very, very well. And the opening costume was rather lush. Or rather, the bits of it that were missing. Very nice. He danced like it was his last chance in this life, sang like he meant it and showed everyone a bloody good time. His back-up dancers were marvellous (as usual), the choreography and stage used mind-bending efficiency and effectiveness, and I have to say I was well and truly gobsmacked at how he completed it all without hurting himself or falling off the Flash Gordon style moving stage.

A tremendous concert series, a remarkable man, a wonderful experience. If only more gweilos (and gweimuis) stepped out of their comfort zone and gave him a look-see, they might enjoy it too. Five foot seven he might be, but he’s all abs, arms and charisma. And we love him for it.

Peach and lube, everyone. Lots and lots of lube.

Tags:
Hong Kong ~ Cantopop ~ Aaron Kwok ~ 郭富城 ~ concert

“Say what you will–

… about the Cardassians, at least they could keep the power on.”

Quite.

We’ve lost our flushing water supply twice in as many weeks. I don’t mean in a ‘whoops, I think I’ve misplaced me flushing water supply, where could I possibly have dropped it?’ kinda way, I’m talking the building being cut off and no bugger bothering to tell anyone that lives here.

When we moved into this place, not six months ago, it were lovely and new and shiny and wonderful. And it still is – Flatmate has turned it into a homey place and I love it to bits. Unfortunately, the water supply has a tendency to go AWOL. It’s annoying. I think it’s happened about five times since we’ve moved in. And that’s a little excessive, I think.

My last place were falling down, that I know, but it amazes me that in the two plus years I lived there, I were only cut off once, and that were only cos they were fitting new water pipes fert entire building. No problem, then. There seems to be no rhyme nor reason as to why this new place’s water gets cut off, it just does. It magically starts up again anywhere from twenty-four to forty-eight hours later, again wi no warning. A little sign would be nice. Or no, a constant flushing water supply.

Anyway, onto more exciting things. Like Aaron Kwok (郭富城 / Mr. K / Ah Wong / 阿王 / Sing-Sing / 城-城 / 郭舞神, etc.).

His concerts open 16th November here in Hong Kong, and if them last ones (2004, 2005) were owt to go by, it’s going to be the territory’s biggest event since the Handover. His 2004 concert won him the 2005 HK Dance Award for Excellence, and his 2005 effort was termed ‘the concert of the decade’ by local press and all those Chinese-speaking communities around the world lucky enough to get his tour arrive in their city. I can personally vouch for the excitement, professionalism, outstanding performances and just overall yayness of both concerts, as I saw every night of em both. Would have been rude not to, after all.

Then he’s been nominated fert Best Actor Award fer his role in ‘The Detective’, over at Taiwan’s Golden Horse Awards (ceremony to be held Sunday 25th November, 2007). I shall be crossing me fingers cos he’s up against wee Tony Leung Chiu-Wai (ooh er missus!) and his performance from ‘Lust. Caution’. Should he win (fert third time in a row, people) it might convince a few Hong Kong Film Awards panel members he could be a contender. Here’s hoping.

Leaving one Fandom and entering another – secured a copy of ‘Supernatural’s season three episode ‘Bad Day At Black Rock’, and absolutely laffed my fucking arse off (“I’m Batman!” – “Yeah, you’re Batman.” / “I lost my shoe.”). Oh, those Winchester boys… Have to say, this is even better than the season two ‘Tall Tales’ ep. It’s nice that right int middle of death, destruction, mayhem, demons, daemons, selling souls and fixing Impalas (and feeling ‘like a soccer mom’), they have time to whack in one o these more light-hearted up-beat jobbies. There were still enough mentions of Plot and Big Things To Come to keep the overall season plan on track, and yet it also gave us some of the best lines so far. Ahh, happy days.

And moving swiftly on from that particularly fucking lush trouser-rubbing-fest (Vic Reeves stylee) to yet another of my many Fandoms…

I have finally finished my last ever ‘Doctor bloody Who’ fan-fic, 'Four Into Ten Does Go'. No really, it is my last one. I’ve packed up me scribbles in me old zipped files and archived them for posterity. I never expected to write one, and now, ten stories down the vortex (which is kinda spooky), I’m all fan-ficked out. Time to get back to the real world and find out what’s going on wi the place. In the words of Major Zip Martin, “Earth still is my favourite planet.”

I think that’s yer onion. No, shallot – ba doom doom tish! I have… er… absolutely nowt to do but read me new book on Extreme Latin for Everyday Use (i.e. swearing).

Soopytwist.

Tags:
water ~ Aaron Kwok ~ Cantopop ~ concert ~ Hong Kong ~ Taiwan ~ Golden Horse Awards ~ Tony Leung Chiu-Wai ~ HKFA ~ Supernatural ~ Dean Winchester ~ Latin

RMC and Purple Nurples

So, to recap (cos I’ve been meaning to do this fer ages now) who’s in me Fantasy Royal Marines Corps:

Sean Bean, Max Beesley, Ewan McGregor, Clive Owen, Christian Bale, Jason Isaacs, Robert Carlyle, Daniel Craig, Karl Urban, Hugh Jackman, Philip Glenister, Gerard Butler, Pierce Brosnan and Sean Pertwee.

To recap the rules: have to be British-born or from the Commonwealth (see what I did there?), capable of doing The Knee Thing to any bugger’s forehead / nose, and of course have one endearing feature (e.g., good with pithy comebacks, cutting remarks, or that old chestnut, look good in army fatigues).

So to the new recruits:

David Tennant (I saw ‘Secret Smile’, I’m not going to argue with him), John Barrowman (the only man in ‘Doctor bloody Who’ who carries a gun and will shoot people in the head – or just beat the crap out of them – and he’s “not just heterosexual”), Nathan Fillion (Cap’n Mal sir – and he’s Canadian), Kevin Smith (no, the other one – we will forever be in love with Ares’s arms, his witty banter and wonderful rendition of brooding, smouldering manliness. And he was a Kiwi. Oh Ares, you are missed), Sir Sean Connery (do I need to explain why?), Aaron Kwok (hey, I saw ‘After This Our Exile’. And he were born in Hong Kong in 1965, so I’m pulling territories).

Ok, so consider yerself caught up now. However, if there are any more you’d like me to add, let me know. We’re doing actors, not characters, remember.

And on to something also in the Woot!Fun category: it started out as a joke, then became a mission, and later this week I’ll be able to get down to the bottle shop in Central and get the ingredients in. And me Red Cross parcel (containing an optic, I believe) is arriving any day now – I love it when a plan comes together. Anyway, finally found a few recipes for the infamous Purple Nurples. Good job there’s more than one, cos I can’t ingest coconut. So take yer pick here:

Purple Nurples (#1)

1oz Malibu Coconut Rum
1 oz Triple Sec
1/2 oz Blue Curacao Liqueur
2 oz Cranberry Juice
Combine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker with Ice. Shake and strain into a glass.

Purple Nurples (#2)

1/4 oz Blue Curacao liqueur
1/4 oz vodka
1/4 oz apple schnapps
1/4 oz sweet and sour mix
1/4 oz grenadine syrup
Pour all ingredients over ice in a cocktail shaker. Shake, strain into a shot glass, and serve.

How fab is that? So apart from ‘Supernatural’ season 2 finishing on a very satisfying moment last night on telly, there’s not a lot to watch. Oh, except praps that new HK film ‘Brothers’, which looks like another famous-names-Fest, and of course Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas in 3D at the new cinema in Kowloon Station. Might have to make the crossing to big bad Kowloon to see that – can you imagine Jack Skellington in 3D? Ace, I tell you, all kinds of aceness waiting to happen.

So that’s it then. Peach and lube everyone!

Tags:
Sean Bean ~ Max Beesley ~ Ewan McGregor ~ Clive Owen ~ Christian Bale ~ Jason Isaacs ~ Robert Carlyle ~ Daniel Craig ~ Karl Urban ~ Hugh Jackman ~ Philip Glenister ~ Gerard Butler ~ Pierce Brosnan ~ Sean Pertwee ~ David Tennant ~ John Barrowman ~ Nathan Fillion ~ Kevin Smith ~ Sean Connery ~ Aaron Kwok ~ RMC ~ Supernatural ~ cocktails ~ Purple Nurples ~ Hong Kong ~ Tim Burton ~ Nightmare Before Christmas

The Detective (C+ 偵探) ~ a review

You know how you think you’ve got over an obsession and are pretty much back to normal, to all intents and purposes – and then you have cause to dip into the source of that obsession just for a moment, and realise that you never can really be without it?

Aaron Kwok (A.K.A. 郭富城, Mr. K, Ah Wong, 阿王, Sing-Sing, 城-城, and my personal favourite: 郭舞神) is like that. He’s like that cigarette packet you really should not pick up again. Or that power button on a PlayStation (whatever model you choose). Or that wee sip of pure orange juice from a pint bottle as left by the milkman.

Whatever the analogy, he’s an obsession just biding its time before it takes over all over again.

Take for example his new film, ‘The Detective’ (A.K.A. ‘C+ 偵探’, or literally translated ‘C+ Private Detective’). Now when I caught wind this would be coming out for Mid-Autumn Festival, I asked myself two questions, and two questions only: (1) How fast can I get my hands on tickets? and (2) Why have I not got premier night tickets anyway? Seeing as how I had them for two of his three most recent films after all. I laughed me arse off, not four rows of seats away, from the entire cast and senior crew of ‘Heat Team’ and again at ‘Throwdown’ (although I laughed considerably less than the local audience at the latter – it just wasn’t supposed to be funny, which makes me wonder again about the maturity of HK audiences at times). I sat through the Director’s Cut of ‘After This, Our Exile’ and would willingly sit through it again at least three times in the near future, but it just didn’t strike me till this evening just how much some people resemble their younger selves when pushed.

Don’t get me wrong – Aaron has always had one of them faces you’d not say no to. For anything. But during ‘After This, Our Exile’ he was using it for far less scrupulous purposes than in, say, ‘The Story of Kennedy Town’ (1990). Gone was the resemblance to that wee adorable lost puppy from ‘The Bare-Footed Kid’ (1993), or even the petulant self-serving git from ‘Anna Magdalena’ (1998). It was hard to even see how he’d just been the hapless yet somehow strangely likeable Inspector Syun from ‘Divergence’ (2005). Without a doubt, ‘After This, Our Exile’ had the effect of turning him into one of them actors that, suddenly, could turn his hand to any genre and make it work. Winning two Taiwanese Golden Horses fer Best Actor in as many years only made it less of a joke in Hong Kong press and more of a wary acceptance that he wasn’t some floppy-haired music idol any more. Or was he?

(And, in a very 'kids, it'll grow back!' Dragnet kinda way, he has already grown his hair back. And aren't we glad...)

Skip over his award-winning music concert series of 2004/2005 for a moment, and he’s gone on to concentrate on films as could consolidate his new position of resigned respect in the HK film community. And ‘The Detective’ shows a side to him that, although people might have joked about in the past, now realise could not be accurate at all. His character in the film is definitely not the sharpest tool in the drawer, blaming his failure to qualify for the local police academy on his short-sightedness. We’re led to believe that, while he’s not exactly slow on the uptake, he doesn't have the kind of finely-honed intellect of Sherlock Holmes when it comes to actual detecting. However, what he does have in abundance (apart from smooth muscles. ‘Scuse me, had to be said) is an insatiable appetite for just wanting to know why, rather than leaving a case cos he’s been paid and it’s kind of sorted. Kinda.

Which brings us to one of the clever points of this film – monikers. Everyone has them, especially among friends. And Mahjong partners, certainly. Aaron’s character is never referred to by anything other than ‘Tam’ – as in short for ‘private eye’. There’s a trend here, and far be it for me to let slip any spoilers, but what’s in a name anyway?

The supporting cast is brilliant – especially the Mahjong Four and of course his purr wee put-upon policeman friend, Liu Kai-Ji (廖啟智) doing his best to keep Tam’s PI nose out of his case files. The backdrop of Thailand only makes it seem more oppressive and resistant to his attempts to unravel the mystery of the woman stalking his client. As an avid guesser of outcomes, I was thrown off the scent quite a few times, ‘Ocean’s 11’ style, until the very satisfying pay-off at the end. Now who’s not good enough to be a real policeman?

So getting back to what you remember about old obsessions: sometimes you rediscover them and find it’s going to be a blatant case of not-stalgia – when you revisit old childhood cartoons and realise that they were not as good as you remembered them to be. Other times you remember exactly why they were obsessions in the first place. This is a clear case of the latter: those little faces he pulls as if he’s not aware of it, being nimble on his feet when you least expect it, the way he still runs as though his shoes cannot grip a surface, the amazing torturous shenanigans he constantly puts his eyebrows through, and the unmistakeable sound of his voice, whether demanding or sincere, reminding you of times you’ve rushed out to buy the latest album before rushing home again and lying on your bed, hands behind your head, listening to it at full blast. Twice. Ahhh, those were the days…

Fab cast, witty dialogue, twists and turns, red herrings, blatant clues, sharp editing, wonderful, wonderful performances, and typical genre-bending stuff from the brothers Pang.

Sorry, Ang Lee and Tony Leung Chiu-Wai, but Oxide Pang’s ‘The Detective’ has just knocked you off the top of my 2007 fave films list.

And that’s all the review that’s fit to print. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a copy of ‘The Bare-Footed Kid’ to root out and whack on the ol’ DVD player.

Or praps that guilty pleasure, the original 'Endless Love' album from 1989...

Judgin by that wee studio shot on the right circa 1990, I think it might have to be the album after all...

Peach and lube, people!

Tags:
Hong Kong ~ Asian Cinema ~ The Detective ~ Aaron Kwok ~ 郭富城 ~ C+ 偵探 ~ Oxide Pang

Filmtastic

I have to confess, I’ve been banging on about the unfairness of certain firms as have not provided Mac versions for paying customers, on the assumption that they couldn’t possibly NOT have access nor inclination to use a PC. It does seem that at least one body also find this unfair – the watchdog thing that checks the good ol’ Beeb is actually spending license money where and when it should also thinks that their iPlayer heap should already be working fer lovely cuddly Mac people. So, yay Mac people and Beeb watchdogs, I suppose.

Should go some way to stop people downloading shite they shouldn’t – or will it? If you’ve been lucky enough to read any of me past posts since I started this attempt at grown-up drivel, you’ll notice I live overseas and have had to resort to ‘alternative measures’ to get certain programmes I love to watch (and, inevitably, more on that later). So it’s no surprise to anyone that people in the UK are also helping themselves to shows from’t overseas companies too. After all, why do we have to wait fer top-rated shows when people blab what happens in em not five minutes after the damned episodes finished (pointing no fingers, and especially not at meself).

Speaking of TV, this George W. Bush piss-take is apparently doing the rounds, and I have to say, I laffed me arse off (ta to big sister for sending me the link).

Meanwhile, back here in Hong Kong, the annual Battle of the Mooncakes is hotting up again. With a bit of luck we will NOT be getting relentless Joey Yung ads, cos I have to say, she really does get on me tits. Not literally, of course. Stop it, all of you. Anyway, I’ll be getting St, Honore ones in again this year, and yeah, it’s cos I’m shallow enough to be swayed by large pictures of Aaron Kwok Fu-Sing selling em. I’m that kind of girl. Also speaking of the lovely Aaron (who does qualify for the ‘People You Would Lick All Over’ category, along wi John Barrowman and Gerard Butler), it seems he not only has another film out soon (‘The Detective’), but oh lookie, what’s that coming over the hill? Is it a concert? Is it a concert? Well maybe it is… and yer all assuming I know of tickets and seating… Well, you might think that, but I couldn’t possibly comment. Suffice to say: excitement itself.

And talking of excitement – Jet Li and Jason Statham going at each other? Sounds good to me. The vehicle, ‘Rogue Assassin’ (or ‘War’ in other parts of the world) opens here tomorrow (yeah, films change on a Thursday round here. Cool!) and rest assured, I will be tagging along to see it at some point. Which is ironic, cos I haven’t been to the cinema since… ooh, ‘The Invasion’, I think. Other than Jet Li, I’m well up for Ang Lee’s latest, ‘Lust / Caution’, simply because it features the impossibly suave wee Tony Leung Chiu-Wai (Chan Wing-Yan from the ‘Infernal Affairs’ trilogy, to the uninitiated). I’m sure it features other top-notch people as well (Joan Chen, anyone?) but they shall pale to insignificance beside the Acting God that is Wee Tony. Also ont cards is the Stephen King thriller-type thing with the inimitable John Cusack (we liiiiiiike!) and some bloke called Samuel L. Jackson – ‘1408’, also starring our own Paul Kasey (without him, you wouldn’t have a single walking/moving alien in ‘Doctor bloody Who’) in what I suspect will be a ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ moment. But at least he’s in there, eh.

So after I’ve got over that glut of potentially mind-bending films, praps I’ll get back to sorting me wallpapers of the week and generally keeping up wi Real Life. I tell you what though, some days it hardly seems worth it.

Anyway, soopytwist, and I shall see you all again quite soon.

Tags:
Hong Kong ~ BBC ~ George W. Bush ~ mooncakes ~ Aaron Kwok ~ 郭富城 ~ Jet Li ~ Jason Statham ~ Rogue Assassin ~ Ang Lee ~ Tony Leung ~ 1408 ~ John Cusack

On retirement. And carrying on.

It is with appreciation and regret that we must say goodbye to a long-serving member of staff this week.
His dedication and staunchness of spirit has always been remarked upon and admired by his friends, colleagues and even the students I have taught. He has never been tardy, appeared wrinkled, or missed a single day at work. His patience and calm nature have always been relied upon and valued so highly by all of us at work, and I can honestly say I’ve never worked with a finer, shinier example of professionalism or motivation. He has been, without doubt, a shining beacon of experience and a perfect example of the proper way for things to be done.
He leaves us to retire, so it is only a brief, selfish regret that he will no longer be with us. I shall miss our shared moments of understanding and quiet reflection, and his ability to motivate me to better standards and more interactive teaching methods.
I have enjoyed working with him these past five years, as I know others have too. He shall be sorely missed, and I wish him all the best now that he has his much-deserved spare time.
I know he will find interesting and valuable ways to use it.
Ladies, gentlemen, and students, please be up-standing as I give you:
My commemorative Aaron Kwok Pepsi Live on Stage 2000/01 Concert Mug.

‘Scuse me while I wipe an eye. There, all done. Right then, onto what I’ve been up to, apart from having to break in a new tea mug at work, this past week. There were the irresistible pull of writing new ‘Doctor bloody Who’ fan-fic, which has been titled ‘Bad Jelly Babies’ and is available HERE. Again, rated K+ (for 9 year olds and above), it’s just a bit of fluff in the style of an episode. TARDIS-tipping, evil jelly babies and tea, involving Ten and Martha. Sorted.

Then there were the discovery of ‘Traffic Warden’, a ten minute film of no dialogue, starring Morwenna Banks, Sophie Hunter, and that tall lanky Scots git from ‘Doctor bloody Who’ (insert large knowing grin here). Apparently ran at the Edinburgh Film Festival in 2004, but not released due to the length. Which, funnily enough, is ten… inches minutes. SORRY! Had to be done, didn’t it? How could I have NOT shoe-horned that old joke in there? You would have thought less of me if I hadn’t, wouldn’t you! Suffice to say, I thought it were ace – loved the fish. It did remind me somewhat of the opening titles of the old Channel 4 programme ‘Teachers’, and I were expecting The Donkey to wander about int background. Bloody great short film, though. Watch it.

Then there was this, spotted at Toys R Us in Tai Koo Shing recently ~ Optimash Prime! Seriously! Don’t ask what I were doing in Toys R Us. Actually, for yer information, I were on a hunt fer new board games fer work, alright? That’s me story and I’m sticking to it…

That’s it, all done and dusted. Life will return to normal, I shall not write more fan-fic and shall remain firmly OUT of the Whooniverse till Saturday. When we get some creepy-dodgy runny-scarey episode (we like!) and then apparently wee Davey is doing his own ‘Doctor bloody Who Confidential’ short straight after it. Looks good!

Peach and lube, people. Lots and lots of lube…

Tags:
Doctor Who ~ David Tennant ~ Martha Jones ~ Freema Agyeman ~ BBC ~ Traffic Warden ~ Transformers ~ Aaron Kwok ~ Teachers ~ Hong Kong

Simms continued ~ Or Life On Mars, but not as we know it

Now that ‘Life On Mars’ is over, we have to find other ways to amuse ourselves. Amuse or confuse, same-same, eh? And so it goes… Due to the eagle-eyed-ness and plain ol’ cunning of a Greatest Pal, got stuck into the old 1997 BBC series ‘The Lakes’ this week. You’ll recognise a few faces straight off the bat – John Simm, of course, Paul Copley (janitor as took half the Manchester Gazette hostage in LOM series 1), Kevin Doyle (Steve, the theatre-running boyfriend of Ripley Holden’s daughter in ‘Blackpool’), Mary Jo Randle (Morgan from ‘The Bill’) and even wee Marshal Lancaster (Chris ‘sorry boss’ Skelton from LOM). Oh aye, they’re all in there – and about twenty-five other people whose faces I know but couldn’t tell you where I’ve seen em. It’s a non-stop face-spotting extravaganza, I can tell you.

It’s also one of the most shameless, down-n-dirty representations of a village gone to pot that I’ve ever seen. I swear to all the major and minor deities, if yer neighbour int banging their next-door-neighbour they’re killing their wife or smoking pot, raping village bikes or stirring it fert newcomers. Bloody hell, it’s a regular Dallas-int-Lake-District – on Speed.

John Simm looks about twelve years old (as I spose he would have been about twenty-five when he made this) and puts in a very impressive performance as the wee Scouse lad who’s just misunderstood. He gets to smile a lot more and be a cheeky arse, and he should be a cute little charmer. Well, he is, butter wouldn’t melt, but there’s still summat as says ‘you can’t fancy him, he’s Sam’. Weird, but there you go. The old ‘I wouldn’t kick him outta bed’ dunt apply – lovely as he is, he wouldn’t get a look-in. Odd. Still, fascinating character and extremely well-done. As are all the rest of the cast, don’t worry. We’ve already ripped through series one, and are now stuck very firmly into series two. It’s one of them ‘just can’t NOT watch the next episode’ deals, I’m afraid. I’ll let you know if I’m impressed wi the ending...

So onto other things as have caught me attention this week – Take That. I know I’ve mentioned as how I bought the album ‘Beautiful World’ an’ it grew on me, but fer some inexplicable reason I’ve felt the need to repeat ‘Like I Never Loved You At All’ on me iPod about ninety times this week. It’s just suddenly grown on me overnight. That an ‘Starman’ by David Bowie – one of them tracks you always loved to bits and then, for some reason back int mists of time, forgot about. Then you uncover it and love it all over again, as if you’ve never heard it before. Bloody marvellous. Best way to enjoy music, I reckon.

That’s music then, onto films. The winners and losers from the 26th Hong Kong Film Awards have already sorted their DVDs and them hard-working buggers wi the marketing skills of a Ferengi over at YesAsia have collected them into one page. It’s a one-stop shop fer sorting this month’s entertainment, HK film-wise. Top of the page of course is the Aaron Kwok vehicle (for which every other bugger won an award but HIM), ‘After This Our Exile’. Strangely enough, the proper 159-minute Director’s Cut is only available in the Taiwan version – the HK one is the cut-fert-sex-scenes version. Bastards. What’s the matter, HK audiences too immature to watch it? Or the local censor bods are just too embarrassed to let it go? Whatever the reason, the Taiwan version, right now, stands at the only full Director’s Cut available. Fascists.

That’s about it – nowt left to bang on about, everything’s updated and sorted fert moment. Bloody marvellous.

Waiting fer Saturday’s new-new ‘Doctor bloody Who’, in which we find out just how he’s going to stop a couple o salt cellars and one dalek-human pinstripe-wearing hybrid. And ruminate on just how Kylie Minogue will fit into a cyber-suit fert next series…

Peach and lube, people…

Tags:
The Lakes ~ John Simm ~ Life On Mars ~ Paul Copley ~ Marshal Lancaster ~ Take That ~ David Bowie ~ HK Film Awards ~ Doctor Who ~ daleks