Out o't Mouth o Babes…

Here's a quick "kids say the strangest things":

Last week I were pounced on by two of my (favourite) students ~ two young lads about twelve years of age, both fitba mad and looking forward to't World Cup, o course. Except they were on about some Chinese bloke that's moving to an English Premiership team…

wibbly-wobbly bit, fading to:
a classroom on a bright Thursday afternoon, five minutes 'fore class starts. Students enter, engrossed in latest fitba news from't morning paper.

Student: Hey teacher, look! Ley Dit [Mandarin name: Li Tie] is go to Syu-fey-yi U!
Me: "Going to". [Student faithfully repeats correct phrase.] And "Syu-fey-yi" is "Sheffield" in English, mate. So who's this bloke Ley Dit then?
Student: He before play for Everton, now maybe he go to Sheffee U.
Me: "He used to play for Everton." That's great ~ why are you telling me?
Student: You is Sheffield girl ar!
Me: "You are." But no, Manchester, love, Manchester ~ trust me, it's a-whoooooole-nother world.
Student: Oh. But if he move to Sheffee, he will be close from Syun Ju-Hoy [Mandarin name: Sun ji-Hai]?
Me: No, he plays for Manchester City. Wrong side o't Pennines, mate. Mountains.
Student: Oh. Do you think they will buy him?
Me: No idea. I know of a bloke ont board though ~ should I ask him? [laffing]
Student: I know! I know! The Knight Who Takes 10 Minutes To Die - my mother say.
Me: Could you explain that?
Student: The Knight Who Takes 10 Minutes To Die. From The King of the Ring.
Me: Aaaaaah, you mean Boromir from Lord of the Rings?
Student: Er... yes, I think. My mother very like him.
Me: [to meself] Aye, I bet. Who doesn't?
Student: She like Man U ar, but my father he know all the football people, he say the Knight is boss of Sheffee U.
Me: Well, no, he's not the boss, but... he's on the board of controllers, I think...

How bizarre is that then? Love the name though ~ have to remember that one…

Speaking o names, thanks to a friend as caught up wi me about a month ago, I remembered yet another thing about England that makes me hope to not go back, other than a holiday. Here's me, standing ont platform int rain, waiting fert train which, again, is about thirty bastard minutes late. Thinks: Fuck this fert game o soldiers. Then I hear this wee voice shouting fer China over the noise. Only one person int world shouts "koo-koo ka-choo Suzie-Sue!" So I'm looking around, thinking "she can't really be here, can she?", and lo and behold, there she is, ont other side o platform, waving like the mad woman she is. So hi, and sorry I didn't mention you before. Got yer mail, ta. Check your inbox, have already sent you them naked pics of Aaron Kwok you wanted [grin]. Joking ~ chance'd be a fine thing, eh.

Talkin o naked blokes, saw this trailer for the new James Bond film, Casino Royale, and thought "oooh, should really have changed them blue shorts, love. Don't do a thing for yer mate."

And speaking o World Cup, can you see any justification fer telling cabbies to take down the England flag? We dunt have a hope o winning, why not let em fly the George Cross fer a bit? What harm could it do? Bloody downright PC-madness, if yer ask me, which I know you didn't. Still, I'm sure them as take em down will soon replace em wi bigger ones. It's the English way, after all.

Peach and lube.

Tags:
Sean Bean ~ football ~ World Cup ~ LOTR ~ Knights ~ names ~ Sheffield Utd ~ Everton