Sunday, 21 May 2006

Out o't Mouth o Babes…

Here's a quick "kids say the strangest things":

Last week I were pounced on by two of my (favourite) students ~ two young lads about twelve years of age, both fitba mad and looking forward to't World Cup, o course. Except they were on about some Chinese bloke that's moving to an English Premiership team

wibbly-wobbly bit, fading to:
a classroom on a bright Thursday afternoon, five minutes 'fore class starts. Students enter, engrossed in latest fitba news from't morning paper.

Student: Hey teacher, look! Ley Dit [Mandarin name: Li Tie] is go to Syu-fey-yi U!
Me: "Going to". [Student faithfully repeats correct phrase.] And "Syu-fey-yi" is "Sheffield" in English, mate. So who's this bloke Ley Dit then?
Student: He before play for Everton, now maybe he go to Sheffee U.
Me: "He used to play for Everton." That's great ~ why are you telling me?
Student: You is Sheffield girl ar! Boromir
Me: "You are." But no, Manchester, love, Manchester ~ trust me, it's a-whoooooole-nother world.
Student: Oh. But if he move to Sheffee, he will be close from Syun Ju-Hoy [Mandarin name: Sun ji-Hai]?
Me: No, he plays for Manchester City. Wrong side o't Pennines, mate. Mountains.
Student: Oh. Do you think they will buy him?
Me: No idea. I know of a bloke ont board though ~ should I ask him? [laffing]
Student: I know! I know! The Knight Who Takes 10 Minutes To Die - my mother say.
Me: Could you explain that?
Student: The Knight Who Takes 10 Minutes To Die. From The King of the Ring.
Me: Aaaaaah, you mean Boromir from Lord of the Rings?
Student: Er... yes, I think. My mother very like him.
Me: [to meself] Aye, I bet. Who doesn't?
Student: She like Man U ar, but my father he know all the football people, he say the Knight is boss of Sheffee U.
Me: Well, no, he's not the boss, but... he's on the board of controllers, I think...

How bizarre is that then? Love the name though ~ have to remember that one…

Speaking o names, thanks to a friend as caught up wi me about a month ago, I remembered yet another thing about England that makes me hope to not go back, other than a holiday. Here's me, standing ont platform int rain, waiting fert train which, again, is about thirty bastard minutes late. Thinks: Fuck this fert game o soldiers. Then I hear this wee voice shouting fer China over the noise. Only one person int world shouts "koo-koo ka-choo Suzie-Sue!" So I'm looking around, thinking "she can't really be here, can she?", and lo and behold, there she is, ont other side o platform, waving like the mad woman she is. So hi, and sorry I didn't mention you before. Got yer mail, ta. Check your inbox, have already sent you them naked pics of Aaron Kwok you wanted [grin]. Joking ~ chance'd be a fine thing, eh.

Talkin o naked blokes, saw this trailer for the new James Bond film, Casino Royale, and thought "oooh, should really have changed them blue shorts, love. Don't do a thing for yer mate."

And speaking o World Cup, can you see any justification fer telling cabbies to take down the England flag? We dunt have a hope o winning, why not let em fly the George Cross fer a bit? What harm could it do? Bloody downright PC-madness, if yer ask me, which I know you didn't. Still, I'm sure them as take em down will soon replace em wi bigger ones. It's the English way, after all.

Peach and lube.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~



Got me flag ready to hang out of me bedroom window. Council's sent a letter round sayin' 'Please don't hang St George flags as it may upset our latest intake of Somalians'.

They're goin t'be pretty pissed of wi Dinners then.

Soupdragon said...

Gaun yerself!
Everyone should be hanging the flags! Cooooom on!!!!



fee said...

I don't want to hang a flag and you can't make me! Send the somalians to live near me! Hopefully chase the cackers away!Everyone's a winner. xxx

* (asterisk) said...

I will fly the flag in my heart but not put one on my car or house. There's about three billion flags flying round my neck of the woods anyway. Sure no one'll notice my reluctance to join in. Either that, or they will, and we'll get egged. Again.

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