Wednesday 5 September 2007

Semantic stuff


So I asked the kids what the capital of France was, a while back. The answer? Yeah, you’ve guessed it, ‘F’. Nice. There then followed a semantic debate about whether that could actually technically be the answer to that particular question. Then I asked a class of four-year-olds to tell me the name of public transport that flew. The answer? A bus. To which I replied, “no mate, buses don’t fly.” Laffs and giggles all round. But he wouldn’t be put off. “Yeah they do, if you throw them really hard,” he says. A little ping went off in me head and then some loud Italian sports commentator suddenly shouted “Goooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaalll!” I’ve still no idea why.

Anyway, got me arse totally and completely kicked on that “Is it ‘and on-sy’ or ‘allons-y’?” debate. Well and truly. In his corner, matey cites the ‘Doctor bloody Who’ episode ‘Doomsday’, and a conversation about the Doctor wanting to meet someone called ‘Alonzo’ just so he could say “Allons-y Alonzo”. So obviously I lose Big Time. Which still doesn’t explain why he clearly said ‘and on-sy’ during that series three ‘Evolution of the Daleks’ episode. Ah well. What’s life without a little mystery, as Remington Steele once said. Anyway, doesn’t really matter, cos I managed not to include the phrase in me latest ‘Doctor bloody Who’ fan-fic, Take Two Companions and Call Back In The Morning. That’ll be number eight, now. And I thought I were only ever doing the one…

And finally to PCCW, then. Which, contrary to popular belief, does not stand for Pacific Century Cyber Works, but actually Poxy James Blunts and Conniving Wankers. Or rather, it would do if anyone over here knew what that meant. Basically, I’m trying to stop my phone contract of four years. I’ve called three times, the bloke as set up the contract for me has called twice, and still they can’t work out where my contract is cos they couldn’t find their arses with both hands and a Maglite. I give up. I’ve decided I’m going to stop the AutoPay (DD) and chuck the fucking SIM in the harbour. Then we’ll see if they can suddenly magic up a record of me having a contract. Something tells me they will.

Thinking of going to Hutchison Whampoa and getting a 2G but fancy phone (Motorola, me thinks). One as lets you have yer own ringtones as message tones, too. And has a nice big screen for me Wallpapers of the Week, which, by a startling coincidence, I’ve just updated this very evening.

So that’s yer onion. No, shallot. I’m off to look up fab phones on Tinternet and look up alternative network providers.

Peach and lube.

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2 comments:

FOUR DINNERS said...

Just cancel it and move on. I cancelled my daughters after 12 weeks. They said "You can't" I did and they rang me and complained I'd broken the law.

I said "Bollocks" and haven't heard a thing.

weenie said...

I thought all phones these days let you have your own ringtones as message tones? Deffo time for you to get a new phone and yeah, like four dinners said, just cancel. I can't be doing with contract so I'm on prepaid (or pay as you go).