Now that’s amazing

‘Illusionist’ [noun]: an entertainer who performs tricks that seem strange or impossible to believe.

There are countless famous illusionists all over the world. There’s David Copperfield, that shifty bugger who managed to make everyone believe he’d made the Statue of Liberty disappear. Then there’s that annoying pursqueeter David Blaine, who is a self-important twat and yet pulls off absolutely fantastic tricks while walking down the street (and these tricks I do love to watch. It’s just his amazingly tedious big stunts that annoy me). I could go on about other illusionists, but I think you get the picture.

The point is, all these people, as astounding as they are making secret playing cards appear inside some parked car on the street, pale in comparison to a certain bloke as delivers an incredible illusion every week. He does it day in, day out, cos it’s actually part of his job. And no-one’s ever pulled him up on it.

Well I’m about to, cos it’s been bugging me for a while. Cos there comes a point where you just have to choose: do you giggle cos it’s absurd that he thinks he’s honestly going to get away with it, or do you go with it cos it’s fun To Believe (in a Mulder kinda way)? I’ve done a bit of both this week, I have to say. And then I went and did my homework. And here’s where I get anal.

I’m talking about Jensen Ackles. This wee man, who most people would associate with ‘Smallville’ or summat called ‘Dawson’s Creek’ (explanations on a postcard – as long as it’s not rude or anatomically explicit), manages to pull off one of the most amazing illusions every week. (Oh fert love of Sean, I called him ‘wee’. Ok. Can I just say fert record: I don’t mean wee as in small, I mean wee as in adorable. There. He is not small. He has biceps the size of the Trafford Centre. And a chest like a beer keg. Only without the tap. Well, I mean –. Oh, forget it. You know what I mean.) He plays Dean Winchester, the older brother of Sam. Sam is tall. Let’s not beat around the bush here, folks. Sam is the Chewie of ‘Supernatural’. He’s purported to be six foot four. Now I can believe this – I’ve seen him standing in shot with co-stars, mail boxes, road signs, etc., all those lovely things that help slap perspective on a person’s height.

His older brother Dean, however, is a good few inches shorter. I’d even go so far as to guess that he’s in fact only six foot – if that. That’s not short, by any stretch of the tape-measure, but it’s just that he’s probably about four or even five inches shorter than the lamppost-like Sam. So why am I on about this? Simple.

‘Supernatural’ season one, little episode called ‘The Benders’. Sam’s disappeared, Dean poses as a copper to get info at the local bobby-shop. Girlie copper looks up Sam’s name and finds a quick record of him – including his height that is recorded at 6’4”. Fine. She finds a link to the record of the brother (minus picture, otherwise later plot devices would be screwed) Dean, and checks that one too. And there we have it – his height is also recorded as 6’4”. Laffed off, ignored as a typo, whatever. It’s just amusing that the two brothers are regarded as the same height in fictional police files.

Skip to season two, ‘Folsom Prison Blues’, I think was the episode. The boys gets themselves banged up to exorcise some prison ghost. And at the beginning we get them having mugshots taken. Sam steps up, they get a shot of his mug while he’s standing against the height board, and again it’s hovering around 6’4”. Enter Dean, taking the piss with his “hey guys, I call this one my ‘Blue Steel’” while enjoying his usual brand of not taking things quite as seriously as his stressing brother. And oh look, his head is hovering around 6’3”. What was he doing, standing on a box? Or had the board slipped down half a foot? Seriously folks, this is just plain amusing. Or is this a TARDIS thing that I’d hitherto missed? Like the inside is bigger than the outside, but that’s just because the inside is further away, so it just looks smaller? So the brothers stand next to each other and are clearly different heights, but when they’re apart or measured you find they’re actually the same height?

Boggles the mind. And totally pointless to blog about. But it makes me smile. Especially when, according to the Internet Movie Database (which I know can be far from accurate at times), Jensen Ackles is actually six foot one, and Jared Padalecki (Sam) is six foot four. I rest my case.

That’s enough obsessing. I’m off to work, to forget about everything save colouring wee animals, making tiger faces with paper plates, and discussing Christmas postage dates. Oh, and hopefully catch a glimpse of Christian Bale filming the new Batman film somewhere up the Mid-Levels escalator tonight.

Soopytwist.

Tags:
Supernatural ~ Jensen Ackles ~ Dean Winchester ~ Jared Padalecki ~ Sam Winchester ~ David Copperfield ~ David Blaine ~ Smallville ~ Dawson’s Creek ~ Zoolander ~ Chewbacca ~ TARDIS