Thursday, 2 October 2008

Klaatu barada nikto!

I am being stalked. In a very weird way.

Or maybe not. See what you think.

It started a few weeks ago. Me and Big Sis were yakking about the guest stars we’d like to see in this season’s ‘Supernatural’. Top of my personal list was Bruce Campbell (of course). I also mentioned David Duchovney - as a demon, Marc Alaimo as some kind of nasty human or helpful Hunter, and one more name - the one person I would dearly, dearly love to see in an SPN episode. In fact, if he turned up and The God Who Is Bruce Campbell did not, I would still be quite happy.

(In fact, although guest stars would be all kinds of excellent bonus-ness, that doesn’t mean we have to have them. I’m just happy watching Sam and Dean run around doing what they do. If we never have another guest star again - other than Jim Beaver - I’ll still be very happy.)

So anyway, there we were, chatting away. And because I’d mentioned Marc Alaimo, I decided to recap on a few classic ‘Star Trek: Deep Space Nine’ episodes. And lo and behold, there was the man I really really want to guest star in ‘Supernatural’. It was funny, really, in a ‘that’s weird, we’ve just been talking about him’ kinda way. Just a coincidence, right?

And then the next night I stopped by HMV in Central to pick up a copy of ‘The Day The Earth Stood Still’ (1951). I’ve heard there’s some remake on the way with that useless bloke in it… what’s his name? Keanu Reeves? Anyway, suddenly realised my DVD and VCD collection had more holes than the ‘plot’ of ‘Lost’ and my copy of said film was missing. Cue me walking into HMV and finding the DVD. Got it home, slapped it on Sean the DVD player, and away we went. Lovely time. Ah, Michael Rennie. No-one says those immortal lines like you. It was as good this time around as when I was weeny and my dad made me sit on the sofa and damn well watch cos it was ‘a good film’. He was right then, and he’s still right now. I’m slightly worried about this remake business - but then, I probably will not be arsed to go see it anyway, so it hardly matters.

Anyway, what does matter is my stalker theory. So after the film had finished and I’d thrilled at Gort the robot and wondered how long resurrected Klaatu would survive, I turned on nowTV to have a quick flick through the channels and see if owt interesting came up.

And there he was again - the man I want in ‘Supernatural’. Now, I thought, this is amusing. The film was none other than ‘Re-Animator’. (Now I just know that that wee piece of info, coupled with the photo above, is making half of you lot go ‘aaaaaaaahh! I know who it is!’). But it was halfway through, and in need of another does of the ghoulish, freaky actor, and wanting to watch it from the beginning, I rummaged around and pulled out my special two disc set. Watched it, howled with laughter and lifted my feet off the floor at certain moments, and generally had a bloody ace time.

The next night I was again flicking through channels, and came upon an ad telling us some channel was about to start re-running ‘The 4400’. And guess who popped up in the trailer? Oh yeah. The very same actor.

Quite unnerved now, and thinking perhaps it really might not be in me head, I decided that I needed to turn off real telly and go do something else less boring instead control what came on the screen. So I went to my bookcase (my lovely shiny new one. Except it doesn’t shine. Cos it’s made of wood. Ahem.) and pulled out an all-time favourite: ‘Evolution’. Out slides the VCD - and another few, too. Seems the plastic on one has kinda suctioned itself to the back of the other. So three or four fall to the floorboards. I’m tutting and crouching down to pick them up, and then I notice the top VCD. It comes with the tagline: ‘No rest for the wicked’ - little SPN trivia, there... Yup, you know what’s coming next, right? It’s ‘The Frighteners

It took all of my self-control not to run screaming from my front room.

So am I being stalked by The God Who Is Jeffrey Combs? Are his works of film following me around? Does this mean that he will indeed pop up in ‘Supernatural’ at some point? Cos if we’re not going to get Bruce Campbell, we deserve him. I think whoever they get for their guest stars this season (and hopefully the next) are going to be ace choices. And again, we don’t really need guest stars to help it along - it’s already doing way more than fine. But if either Mr C could be tucked in there too - it’d be so much more devilish fun.

* P.S.: I do believe that Klaatu’s relayed message to Gort, ‘Klaatu barada nikto!’ meant something along the lines of: ‘Bollocks, told you this lot couldn’t be trusted. Oh no! I’ve been shot! Come claim my corpse, re-animate me, and let’s put this whole sorry-ass place in our rear view mirror - and remind me never to come back here!


Just turned on AXN Beyond on nowTV and guess what's on? 'The X-Files.' And who's the guest star? Bruce Campbell. Yup - it's the episode where he's the demon. Speak of the devil...

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