Signs: 3 / ‘Doctor Makes Me Blub’ Shocker!

A while ago I started on about the meanings of signs as given me by young students of the English language. So here’s the next one – it’s a cracker, as they used to say. Now what, in all possibilities in all worlds, could this mean?


Answers at the end of this post.

So anyway, saw the last part of ‘Doctor bloody Who’ series two last night ~ ‘Doomsday’. Have to say, I blubbed like a girl (ta, 4D for warning me!). But not cos Blondie is gone, no, no, no, no, noooooo…. (and even after I came to like her, int end). Let’s go back, shall we? I loved the whole Daleks v Cybermen thing ~ “Cybermen are better in one respect: they are better at dying!” screams the Dalek leader, and why not? The two opposing armies were fab, and rightly so. As Doctor Who comebacks go, who can argue wi the salt n’ pepper shakers v Trev and Simon? Pure bloody class, I don’t mind saying.

No, I blubbed on Blondie’s words when the Doctor appears one last time, on some flats in Norway, to say goodbye. And she asks him what he’ll do wiowt her. I believe he quotes the end of the 2005 Christmas special when he says “back to the TARDIS, same old life”. And she just says, “on your own?”

That were the bit that got me. That fact that, even though it’s been hammered home episode after episode by ol’ Russell T. Davies throughout series two, you never really think it could possibly be. The Doctor, alone, all over again. But int that what happens every time? Every time he ends up by himself. “The curse of the Time Lords”, he calls it. I think he’s right. Sure, everyone’s blubbing and upset cos Blondie’s gone. But straight away she runs into the arms of her mam. And then there’s Mickey, who’s always been int background – but at least he’s there in a real, physical presence kinda way. And of course, the man who int her dad but a parallel universe man who would have been her dad. It’s perfect. She’s got her nuclear family all back again, she just has to make it work. In short, she has friends, she has family around her.

I blubbed cos of the Doctor. Alone again. Always alone. Reminded me of ‘Firefly’, when Inara tells Mal he dunt have to die alone. And what does he come back wi? “Everyone dies alone.” And int he right? After all, the Doctor only has thirteen regenerations, I think. Which means he’s got four left, if we’re counting RE-generations, not actual lives. Kinda. So one day it really will be his last life. I wonder how he’ll go out? I’m sure Russell T. Davies has an idea fer that too, if only Auntie Beeb would let him have a go…

Also saw episodes four and five of ‘Blackpool’ tonight. Now, I know I have certain weaknesses, but come on, the Tennster giving Sarah Parish those eyes and she turns him down? What is she, made of stone? I would have given him one. Well, several. No charge, mate.

So anyway, the meaning of the sign at top o the post, as told me by an eleven year old, were:
“Do not ignore your alarm clock.”

Excellent. Soopytwist!

Tags:
teaching ~ Hong Kong ~ English ~ Doctor Who ~ David Tennant ~ Sarah Parish ~ BBC ~ Russell T. Davies ~ Blackpool ~ Firefly

Signs (Parte the Second)

Bank queue rage. That’s what I’m suffering from. Well, not now, obviously, seeing as how I’m not actually stood int bank right now. But this morning, oooh, love a duck, I were as ready as both o them two tribes to go to war.

Apologies. That’s the first and last time I shall ever use the phrase “love a duck”.

Anyway, what is it wi little old ladies trying to shove you forwards while yer waiting in a queue? As if that’s going to help, everyone just shuffling forward a few inches. I tell you what, let’s all try it, and then look at what we’ve accomplished, shall we? Right then, here we go: shuffling forwards… shuffling forwards… and you, keep up, mate… right, there we are. All shuffled and forwarded and still standing twenty-eighth int queue. Except now I’m uncomfortably close to the person in front an behind.

Well, that didn’t work too well, did it? So, Woman-Behind-Me-Int-Bank-Queue today: fer the love of Sean Bean’s arse, will you stop shoving me forwards like yer doing Tai Qi. It int big and it int clever ~ and it dunt get anyone anywhere.

Ok? Are we done? We’re done.

Onto signs, then. I did promise a while back I’d be putting up some signs as kids have explained the meanings of, if that makes sense. Fer example, this one about parking / peeing (same-same, apparently). Onto number two, then. I give you:


And what were the meaning I were given? Now, take a minute to think about it. What, conceivably, could a bunch of eleven-year-old Hong Kong kids come up with? I’ll let you think about it fer a wee spell. It is fab, by the way.

In other news, have been listening to Russell Brand’s podcast from Radio 2 and laffing probably a lot more than any one of me sisters would think is appropriate. Sorry, I just think he’s funny. I don’t have to put up wi him on a regular-enough basis to get fucked off wi his humour, so it’s fine fer me to listen to ont bus and MTR and get stared at fer laffing like a small child possessed.

Anyway, thought about it yet? Right then, the meaning of the sign, as divined by the class o kids, were:

DANGER, PIRATE COWS OPERATE IN THIS AREA
Nice.

And that’s really it. Peach and lube everyone, and I’ll see you all again very soon.

Tags:
Hong Kong ~ banks ~ Sean Bean ~ signs ~ Russell Brand ~ BBC radio ~ pirates ~ cows

Signs (parte the Firste)

Yiiiii-iii, why didn’t someone tell me Dirk Benedict is on Celebrity Big Brother? Oh wait, probably cos even if I were in Blighty and had nowt but one channel to pass the next five years of my life, I still wouldn’t watch that pile o last week’s Lister-grade ripe pants. Ah well. But are people seriously considering voting him off? Yer having a giraffe! He’s Dirk Benedict, man! He’s Starbuck! He’s Face! He’s ACE!

Right, that’s outta me system now. In other news, hasn’t this week flown by? I mean, I were just thinking it were another soul-destroying Monday, when ~ bam! ~ I find it’s already Saturday! What happened there then?

And now fer summat completely different: Students and their wacky, weird and wonderful ideas ~ I don’t know, those crazy kids, eh! So, lesson: Signs and Notices. Class: six eleven-year-olds, bored as a ninety-foot well. I hold up this pic:



and say “What does this mean then?”

No-one answers. I intimidate a wee lad till he runs purple, then gasps out his desperate answer.
“No toilets,” says he.

The effect were instantaneous. I roar with laffter, and then a few seconds later, when five pennies have dropped, the rest of’t room laffs too. Suddenly everyone has a lateral-thinking answer and we tear through the entire box of signs with ball-bouncingly funny subsequence.

But no, I’m not letting you have em all now. You’ll have to wait fer a bit first.

That’s it. I’m off to bed ~ we’re off to Macau tomorrow, yippee!! Casinos and peanut crackle and ferries and iPods and walkings and buyings and arguings and eatings and taking picturings and stuff! Woo-hoo!

Peach and lube.

Tags:
Dirk Benedict ~ Celebrity Big Brother ~ Dave Lister ~ signs ~ Hong Kong ~ Macau