Tuesday, 6 February 2007

Signs (Parte the Second)

Bank queue rage. That’s what I’m suffering from. Well, not now, obviously, seeing as how I’m not actually stood int bank right now. But this morning, oooh, love a duck, I were as ready as both o them two tribes to go to war.

Apologies. That’s the first and last time I shall ever use the phrase “love a duck”.

Anyway, what is it wi little old ladies trying to shove you forwards while yer waiting in a queue? As if that’s going to help, everyone just shuffling forward a few inches. I tell you what, let’s all try it, and then look at what we’ve accomplished, shall we? Right then, here we go: shuffling forwards… shuffling forwards… and you, keep up, mate… right, there we are. All shuffled and forwarded and still standing twenty-eighth int queue. Except now I’m uncomfortably close to the person in front an behind.

Well, that didn’t work too well, did it? So, Woman-Behind-Me-Int-Bank-Queue today: fer the love of Sean Bean’s arse, will you stop shoving me forwards like yer doing Tai Qi. It int big and it int clever ~ and it dunt get anyone anywhere.

Ok? Are we done? We’re done.

Onto signs, then. I did promise a while back I’d be putting up some signs as kids have explained the meanings of, if that makes sense. Fer example, this one about parking / peeing (same-same, apparently). Onto number two, then. I give you:

And what were the meaning I were given? Now, take a minute to think about it. What, conceivably, could a bunch of eleven-year-old Hong Kong kids come up with? I’ll let you think about it fer a wee spell. It is fab, by the way.

In other news, have been listening to Russell Brand’s podcast from Radio 2 and laffing probably a lot more than any one of me sisters would think is appropriate. Sorry, I just think he’s funny. I don’t have to put up wi him on a regular-enough basis to get fucked off wi his humour, so it’s fine fer me to listen to ont bus and MTR and get stared at fer laffing like a small child possessed.

Anyway, thought about it yet? Right then, the meaning of the sign, as divined by the class o kids, were:



And that’s really it. Peach and lube everyone, and I’ll see you all again very soon.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~


Granny W said...

That's what you get for waiting in line with the poor! I like Russell Brand too even though he's a wee bit too smutty at times even for me! Have you got it yet? x

Soupdragon said...

No! I reckon the Great British Postie (the one bugger actually working) is walking backwards under the South China Sea to get it here.
I am checking me postbox every day, don't worry!

What day did you send it? I might just mosey on down and check there's nothing waiting for me anyway, seeing as LAST TIME they didn't even leave me fucking card...



* (asterisk) said...

I hate when people want to invade yer personal space when standing in a queue. FUCK OFF, WILL YER?!

Glad you're enjoying Russell Brand. I like him too, altho' i didn't think much of his chat-show type thing he did on telly.

He's doing the Brit Awards this year, though, and it's live on telly, so it should be worth seeing.

David said...

I love the blog that you have. I was wondering if you would link my blog to yours and in return I would do the same for your blog. If you want to, my site name is American Legends and the URL is:


If you want to do this just go to my blog and in one of the comments just write your blog name and the URL and I will add it to my site.



Fuck off David. America hasn't got any legends - well Cobain maybe...

Brand could reach the stratosphere of fame. Hope it don't spoil him.

Soupdragon said...

Hmmm, re: David.
My first thought were "well let's have a look, praps their motorkbike legends, or 50's cars, or 50's film stars, etc.
But no.
Sorry, David mate, but I can't see ONE THING on yer site that would have an relevence to me, or praps people as read me page. If anyone does actually read this other than 4D (nice to have you back home, lad!) and Mr *
Second thought: is the word verfiicamation thing working still? Cos if not, it needs to go back on, sharpish.
I notice it dunt come up fer me, but that's cos it's my page, I hope....


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