Balls, babies and buttons…

Oh my dog, this is fab:

England men, England women, England boys, England girls
Tears of pride will stain your faces when we conquer the world
England is the motherland of football
And the World Cup will once again be hers

Football will be our only weapon
Skill and power will be our only shield
We fought them on the beaches
Now we'll play them on the field
And once again the world will surely yield

England…

Penned and sung by one Justin Hawkins (The Darkness!), it's his take on the World Cup theme. Apparently that's some fitba thing happening soon. Anyway, so far as I can tell, it's not the actual one, cos people reckon it's too racist and it ~ lummies! ~ mentions the war!

The link was sent me by me always useful and thoroughly clever younger sister ("aye thank you"), who, strangely, is still not enamoured of Sir Sean of Bean, even after havin' a quick squiz at all them Sharpe photos on here. Crikey blimey Charlie, eh. Maybe she needs her glasses changing, heheheheheheee…

Speaking o which, I've heard tell he's pulling on his fitba boots for a wee spot of char-i-dee May 3rd, somewhere in Reading. Apparently, Lee Sharpe ("Lee Sharpe! Lee Sharpe!") will also be donning the leathers. Interesting… Fitba's a beautiful game… when there's summat worth watching legging it up and down't pitch…

TV adverts that have pissed me off this week: that one about Enfagrow milk powder shite (or whatever the name is. I were so angry about the ad I never actually took in the product there were supposed to be selling me). Apparently, if you feed your babbie this shite he'll become a genius and you'll all get rich and live happily ever after. I've not got a problem with them telling people these outright lies, I have a problem wi the way it's done. Advert goes summat like this:

Stroppy 4/5 year old: I don't want to eat my dinner! I don't like it!
Beautiful, wealthy, successful, caring parents: [whining like fuck] Oh come, come, be a good boy and eat some…
Stroppy 4/5 year old: No! I won't! [folds arms to signify 'conversation' is over]
Cue voice-over telling you to make him a glass of milk instead, cos it contains all the vitamins and minerals and shite he needs to, not only grow up normal even though he's clearing in need a of good kickin' and several square meals, but will also be a genius cos it makes his brain grow! Wow! A wonder food!

Fuck. Me.

I was SPITTING when I saw this ad. I know they 'ave to shift the crap somehow, but come on… The problem is, parents in HK can be like this. Thankfully, there also a lot of em who bloody are not, and take no crap from kids as won't eat their dinner. I were thinking how it would have gone in my house back home if I'd attempted to not eat me dinner. Hmm, perhaps something like this:
[world wibble wobbles and reforms in a perfect memory of:]

Me: I'm not eatin' it! You can't make me!
Dad: Eat it, or there's nowt else.
Me: No!
Dad: Fine. If you don't eat it now, yer sister can 'ave it and then you'll 'ave to go to bed hungry. You think I'm joking. Just you try it, lady Jane.
Me: [thinks] Er… right then. I think he's called me bluff right enough. Bugger.

What happened? I learnt discipline and respect for me parents, and grew up wi'owt the need for useless gimmicks an tricks to make me do stuff. Simple. I really want to go ont TV and tell these soppy parents to sort their fucking lives out and, on the odd occasion wee ah Wai won't eat his dinner, you give im a slap and tell im to be thankful (kids in Africa, homeless all around us, etc, etc,) and if he dunt want to eat it he dunt 'ave to. He's just not getting owt else till he does. Simple, yet effective.

Right then, I feel better now, I think. Pic of the day then? Hmm, let me think… something that fits me mood today…


"Shurrup Harris!"

Peach and lube, then eh.


Tags:
football ~ World Cup ~ Reading FC ~ Justin Hawkins ~ The Darkness ~ Lee Sharpe ~ TV adverts ~ Richard Sharpe ~ Sean Bean