Decisions

Watch some weeny-arsed download that’s up-to-date, or suffer THE WORLD telling you what’s going on an’ how great it is to watch it on a first-run while you wait fert DVDs?

Get me hair cut back to the short-shortness it was and bleach / dye it bright blonde (fert first time in me life), or keep it gay-Luke Skywalker–come–Farah Fawcett-Christmas tree annoying – just because it’s not been this long in fourteen years?

Fuck it. I’m lazy, so it looks like I’ll be waiting fert DVD and leaving it long. No, wait, I’ll not wait fert DVD, cos I have to know what happens that first ‘why is it bigger ont inside?’ gag. No wait, I’ll not leave it long to grow out still, cos it’s getting in me eyes and that means some kind of cut anyway. Might as well just get it all done at the same time. Yeah, I’m that kind of lazy.

And just when you thought there was nowt cool left in all the worlds, yer mate sends you wee salt n’ pepper shakers screaming mastakeseou! An' if yer thought that were cool, how about a good old-fashioned up-a-grayd-oh?


And then it’s alright. Then you know that there is still summat int ‘verse than can make you want to get up int morning. Be it TV shows, or a magazine (April’s ‘SFX’ promises to be a smasher), or simply the fact that you’ve got them Chuck Taylor’s you’ve always wanted since Marty McFly had ‘em, and do actually wear them every day to work. There is still summat. Even if you feel like the grimiest ha’pny in need of a dip in that H2SO4 int science class.

And then you see this film poster, and think to yourself, hmm, maybe I’ll go out this weekend…

After all, who dunt need to perv at watch Sir Sean of Bean, arsey crazed super-villain, wi tiny shiny knives an’ his best evil sneer on..?

A slasher flick wi’ a right scary bastard doin’ the necessary to earn a IIB (UK: 15 / US: R17) certificate..?

All manner of scary fucker-iness that Sir Seenie of the Beanie does so well..?

More to the point, a brainless, smash-em-up, kill-em-all, ram-in-the-Sean Porn jump-fest wi no real motivation other than to get bums on seats and fill a few hours..?

I’m in.

Weird day today. Don’t mind me.

Tags:
Doctor Who ~ Dalek ~ Cybermen ~ Japanese ~ Luke Skywalker ~ SFX ~ Chuck Taylor’s ~ Marty McFly ~ Sean Bean ~ The Hitcher ~ Sean Porn