taH pagh taHbe’

So, here we are again, Sunday afternoon and sitting wi me feet up, hot fresh cup o tea, comfy chair. Why? It’s time fer ‘Doctor bloody Who’.

Thinks:
Look at the size o that heid! Like an orange on a toothpick!

Gawd, this episode, ‘Evolution Of The Daleks’ knocks spots off some of the older episodes. It’s got it all ~ running, shouting, sonic screwdrivers, human failure and courage, more running and shouting, Martha being ace, the Doctor being… the Doctor, twists of fate and new-new species. And a few questions ~ who really were the ‘humans’, and who weren’t?

Have to say, I loved the way the two daleks were having a chat while they’re alone int tunnel, about not trusting the new dalek-human hybrid Sec, and the way the second one did a shifty look about himself before trundling closer and answering. Bwa-ha-ha-haaaa! How human is that?

That old Sec, though, eh? He got what was coming to him, fer daring to dream. Or did he? I could tell the Doctor was going to go fer his plan to create a new race, hook line and bloody great stinker, knowing his weakness for someone asking fer help just at a vulnerable moment. Would he really have helped them? Or was he planning to arse things up at the last moment? Did he really believe he could re-engineer dalek DNA to convert them into a new, nice, harmless shade of their former race? Nah! Just dupe em and kill em all, at the right moment – that’s what I were shouting. And why not? Why pretend we’re ‘better than them’ by showing them mercy when they’ve spent eons wiping out entire planetary systems? Shouldn’t the punishment fit the crime? Has the Doctor gone soft? And his “See? Never waste time on a hug!” ~ definitely NOT human, Doctor.

Anyway, Martha’s going up rapidly in my estimation. Fry them all! Let’s lay on a hyowj great BBQ! Alright, so she had a bit of a Moment after she realised she’d actually killed all them ‘people’, but hey, if I’d been her I would have done exactly the same thing. Me or them? Are you joking?

Them daleks were ace too – proper baddies. They’ve even been to the James Bond Villain School of Melodrama ~ “gamma strike four minutes AND COUNTING!” Bloody marvellous! The whole “do we obey or not?” argument never got tired, ta to them doing it so well.

But that Doctor – he’s a one-man sonic screwdriver-losing machine! If he’s not frying em he’s dropping em over the edge of some bloody great landmark. Lucky Martha were there to bring it back, eh? Romana’s going to get a bit pissed off wi him constantly coming back fer a new one, after all. (Ooh, quick thought ~ she never did go back to Gallifrey, did she? So… she didn’t go down wi the ships, then? Hmm…)

And so Martha and the Doctor have had their first proper tiff; honeymoon’s over, she’s putting her foot down wi alarming regularity these days – we like! She int Rose, she’s better, and there’s nowt he can do about it. He’s thawing ~ not a lot, but just a tad. And o my dog, what did he have on his feet? Not just red Chuck Taylor’s, but red SOCKS, too! Ok, now I’m in love!

And them human-daleks… Bloody hell, I were rolling around the floor laffing. Not cos they were shite, but cos a certain couple o students I know are going to be laffing fit to burst an all ~ “But why?” ~ bloody loved it!

Ah, me, eh? So all in all, another bloody marvellous bit of Saturday night fluff. Thinking girls’ crumpet, girls wi common sense, ages-old sci-fi conundrums and even the baddie / goodie / baddie wore pinstripe this time! Woo-hoo!

I'm not saying it were scary, but...

Anyway, also in this week’s round-up: choons. I’ve had two new albums this week, both bloody ace reasons to appreciate being English and all that that brings with it: Arctic Monkeys’ ‘Favourite Worst Nightmare’ and Little Man Tate’s ‘About What You Know’. Instant favourite from Little Man Tate has to be ‘3 Day Rule’, closely followed by ‘Man I Hate Your Band’. Bloody class, both of them. I think best track ont Arctic Monkeys’ album fer me right now is ‘Fluorescent Adolescent’, wi’ the rest of the album growing on me PDQ, too. And hey, still got me tickets to the hyowj concert at the LCCC later this year, and just had me holiday rubber-stamped by’t boss, so woo-hoo, off we go! While I’m around, I think I might just go to the Museum of Science and Industry down at Castlefield too, to see a certain Up Close exhibition they have on…

Nearly there – just one more thing to do: pimp our shiny new Nathan Fillian Google Group. Oh yes, as the Doctor would say ~ adult conversation about all things Cap’n Mal Reynolds, Firefly, Serenity, Drive, White Noise 2, his arse, and just about owt else you want to say about the space cowboy. Click the link and prepare to feel much better…

That’s yer lot. I’m all done. Just waiting fert confidential on making of this ‘Doctor bloody Who’ episode, then it’s back to ‘The Lakes’…


Peach and lube, people!

Tags:
Doctor Who ~ Martha Jones ~ daleks ~ Dalek Sec ~ evolution ~ Arctic Monkeys ~ Little Man Tate ~ Nathan Fillion ~ Firefly

Simms continued ~ Or Life On Mars, but not as we know it

Now that ‘Life On Mars’ is over, we have to find other ways to amuse ourselves. Amuse or confuse, same-same, eh? And so it goes… Due to the eagle-eyed-ness and plain ol’ cunning of a Greatest Pal, got stuck into the old 1997 BBC series ‘The Lakes’ this week. You’ll recognise a few faces straight off the bat – John Simm, of course, Paul Copley (janitor as took half the Manchester Gazette hostage in LOM series 1), Kevin Doyle (Steve, the theatre-running boyfriend of Ripley Holden’s daughter in ‘Blackpool’), Mary Jo Randle (Morgan from ‘The Bill’) and even wee Marshal Lancaster (Chris ‘sorry boss’ Skelton from LOM). Oh aye, they’re all in there – and about twenty-five other people whose faces I know but couldn’t tell you where I’ve seen em. It’s a non-stop face-spotting extravaganza, I can tell you.

It’s also one of the most shameless, down-n-dirty representations of a village gone to pot that I’ve ever seen. I swear to all the major and minor deities, if yer neighbour int banging their next-door-neighbour they’re killing their wife or smoking pot, raping village bikes or stirring it fert newcomers. Bloody hell, it’s a regular Dallas-int-Lake-District – on Speed.

John Simm looks about twelve years old (as I spose he would have been about twenty-five when he made this) and puts in a very impressive performance as the wee Scouse lad who’s just misunderstood. He gets to smile a lot more and be a cheeky arse, and he should be a cute little charmer. Well, he is, butter wouldn’t melt, but there’s still summat as says ‘you can’t fancy him, he’s Sam’. Weird, but there you go. The old ‘I wouldn’t kick him outta bed’ dunt apply – lovely as he is, he wouldn’t get a look-in. Odd. Still, fascinating character and extremely well-done. As are all the rest of the cast, don’t worry. We’ve already ripped through series one, and are now stuck very firmly into series two. It’s one of them ‘just can’t NOT watch the next episode’ deals, I’m afraid. I’ll let you know if I’m impressed wi the ending...

So onto other things as have caught me attention this week – Take That. I know I’ve mentioned as how I bought the album ‘Beautiful World’ an’ it grew on me, but fer some inexplicable reason I’ve felt the need to repeat ‘Like I Never Loved You At All’ on me iPod about ninety times this week. It’s just suddenly grown on me overnight. That an ‘Starman’ by David Bowie – one of them tracks you always loved to bits and then, for some reason back int mists of time, forgot about. Then you uncover it and love it all over again, as if you’ve never heard it before. Bloody marvellous. Best way to enjoy music, I reckon.

That’s music then, onto films. The winners and losers from the 26th Hong Kong Film Awards have already sorted their DVDs and them hard-working buggers wi the marketing skills of a Ferengi over at YesAsia have collected them into one page. It’s a one-stop shop fer sorting this month’s entertainment, HK film-wise. Top of the page of course is the Aaron Kwok vehicle (for which every other bugger won an award but HIM), ‘After This Our Exile’. Strangely enough, the proper 159-minute Director’s Cut is only available in the Taiwan version – the HK one is the cut-fert-sex-scenes version. Bastards. What’s the matter, HK audiences too immature to watch it? Or the local censor bods are just too embarrassed to let it go? Whatever the reason, the Taiwan version, right now, stands at the only full Director’s Cut available. Fascists.

That’s about it – nowt left to bang on about, everything’s updated and sorted fert moment. Bloody marvellous.

Waiting fer Saturday’s new-new ‘Doctor bloody Who’, in which we find out just how he’s going to stop a couple o salt cellars and one dalek-human pinstripe-wearing hybrid. And ruminate on just how Kylie Minogue will fit into a cyber-suit fert next series…

Peach and lube, people…

Tags:
The Lakes ~ John Simm ~ Life On Mars ~ Paul Copley ~ Marshal Lancaster ~ Take That ~ David Bowie ~ HK Film Awards ~ Doctor Who ~ daleks

Motorways and Broadways

dix mille
zehn tausend
dieci mila
diez miles
10 тысяч
10천
万 萬
一萬
ten thousand

That’s how many hits I’ve managed to scrape together since February 13th, 2006. Not bad, I reckon. Especially as all I publish is shite…

I’m behind, I know that. But I were busy blogging about HK Film Awards and the like, and of course, that old chestnut, getting a few nasties off me chest. Ah, me. All done though, and now that ‘Life On Mars’ is gone, we’re back to ‘Doctor bloody Who’.

Way back int mists of time, i.e., once upon a Saturday night (14th) , we got episode three, ‘Gridlock’. A nice wee epic-etta, if you see what I mean. Inside of 42 minutes they delivered a Bladerunner-esque bleak little world, worked in a few magic continuity lines (“I’m so sorry”), a chilling set-up for Plots Yet To Come (“you’re not alone”), the promise (as always) of a better future, a few old enemies of Doctor Two and, of course, a few thrilling Doctor-gets-annoyed-and-decides-to-do-it-himself moments. All adds up to ‘bloody marvellous’, again. You can tell it’s a Russell T. Davies-penned episode from the distopian world finding freedom and light from chaos and darkness – and the married old ladies, of course. Nice touch. I loved it.

The Doctor realises he’s been an arse towards Martha, she decides to put her foot down at just the right moment, and basically tells him he has to start talking to her like she exists. Nice one, love. Another point in yer corner. Anyway, we leave them having a heart-to-heart about Gallifrey and why he lied to her. Aw, wee cottons, eh? But wait, this is Russell T. Davies, and anything you hear in a heart-to-heart is going to be important motivation fodder later on int series. That an’ another chance to make the Doctor squirm and pretend he’s not getting all teary-eyed talking about summat he normally avoids, fer just that reason. Aw, purr wee lamb. I’d have given him a shoulder to cry on. Well, that an’ any other body parts as might have helped. Who wouldn’t? Certainly not Martha, although I think her earlier “if I go with him I might be in wi a chance of a shag later” thoughts are morphing into summat along the lines of “he’s going to end up my best friend in all the worlds, if I’m not careful”.

A few thoughts: the Doctor seems to have got over his unease wi cats, then – picking up the wee kitten and playing wi it, even though he told Rose before that he were “not really a cat person”, recent events wi cat-nuns in hospitals withstanding. I did have a think when they witnessed the passing of the Face of Boe, and Martha finally getting an “aw, there, there” hug from the Doctor – I think it were him that needed the hug, more than her.

And the Face of Boe. Although the Doctor admitted he “didn’t really know” who he was (a common theme this episode), the Face of Boe called him “old friend” quite a bit. Hmm. Could it be that the Doctor knows him, but just doesn’t recognise him? Billions of years old, is he? So could he know more’n he’s letting on? Like the fact that he’s from before Gallifrey had all their planetary troubles? Is that how he knows summat the Doctor doesn’t?

Bah, stop it. I’m connecting dots wi no idea what shape the finished article is supposed to be. I’ll stop right now, ‘fore I talk myself through the entire series when we’re only on episode four. After all, I like being surprised an’ caught out. I don’t want to ruin it for meself.

Ardal O’Hanlon was mighty fine (the kittens were a nice touch) and although I thought the girlie that played Cheen was the same as played Donna from ‘Queer As Folk’ but was completely wrong, everyone int episode did a cracking job. I especially liked the hugging of Novice Hame, and the consequent “oi, wait a minute, get off!”

Best lines? Valerie and Branigan: “He’s completely insane!” / “ ~ and a little bit magnificent.”

Fast-forward to last night then, 21st. New-new episode ‘Daleks in Manhattan’ (title made me think o ‘Muppets Take Manhattan’ fert long moment, and the blue suit is growing on me, has to be said.) Loved the whole show-time musical thing, the pointed references (making way fert Captain Jack, later int series, praps?) the costumes, sets, character, stories… the quotes…

Martha: I am so glad to see you!
Doctor: Yeah well, you can kiss me later. And you too, Frank. If you want.

Tallulah: You got yourself a forward-thinking guy with that hot potato in the sharp suit.
Martha: We’re not together.
Tallulah: Oh sure you are. I’ve seen the way you look at him – it’s obvious.
Martha: Not to him.
Tallulah: Oh! I should have realised – he’s into musical theatre. What a waste… Still, you gotta live in hope!

Doctor: [seeing a dalek] They survived. They always survive, while I lose everything…

Not a happy bunny, is our Doctor. Little bit of genocide ont cards, methinks. Revenge is so much more fun when you can be sure you have every last one of the buggers, eh? There’s no question he’d do it ~ the question is whether Martha lets him, and if he can do it in time.

Nice evolution twist too ~ I don’t know, that Dalek Sec, eh? He’s quite a card. Managing to overturn all the ideas the other daleks cling to, talking em into letting him get on wi it, then – and some might say, bravely – using himself as the experiment. I liked his comment about ‘if we’re so superior, how come we’re nearly extinct?’ He’s been reading the Tao of Arthur Dent, and no mistake. Tallulah – not bad fer a 1930’s broad: she didn’t go nuts when she met Laszlo again, much as I thought she would. Very tolerant, that bird. But not good at directions (dare I point out that she’s blonde, too?). Young Frank was lovely (and he’s got that accent) and Soloman was a nice touch.

So all we have to do is wait a week fert ending. Easy.

GAAHHHH!

Tags:
Doctor Who ~ David Tennant ~ Martha Jones ~ Freema Agyeman ~ Gallifrey ~ Ardal O’Hanlon ~ Russell T. Davies ~ Bladerunner ~ daleks

Do you want stabbing int eye?

Right. This post is going to be vitriolic, scathing, potty-mouthed. Think of my pottiest-mouthed post and add an extra pint of potty-mouthness. Why? You want the short list?

Alright then, let’s start at the top of the mountain of things as have fucked me off Big Time:

Blogger. I’m told that if I want to use the new Sergeant Pompous and the Fancy Pants Club Band Layouts jobbie, I, and I quote, “must use Firefox or Internet Explorer 6”. Pardon? Must? Must? How dare you. Now, if you’d written summat like “please use…” or even “only works in…”, then I wouldn’t have stared at me poor monitor like it’d just dribbled on me shirt. Must? MUST? What is this use of external obligation you think you can throw at people about which you know NOTHING? Why do you think that you can tell me what I ‘must’ use? Ooh, here’s an idea: how about ‘fuck a long way off, you bastards’. Just make it work on Safari (and Opera. Let’s not be fascists).

And while we’re ont subject, NOTHING ever works properly on IE anyway, so why bother pretending that if even I wanted to dirty me USEFUL and EFFICIENT Mac by putting some fucking Microsoft shite on it, it’d make my net experience better? Fuck off. If you want ME to continue using YOUR products when there are other ones available, then you’d better fucking pony up and make the damned thing work with up-to-date web browsers. What, do I build a car and then say “you can only drive this on dirt tracks, cos it dunt work on tarmac”? Have a think, and then come back when you can do better.

Now when I post to Blogger, I don’t get a fancy-arsed ‘html’ page, wi little buttons to press to format the post. No, no, no, cos y’see, I’m using Safari 2.0.4, and Blogger dunt seem to support this. It’s Cap’n Mal’s Independence technology in the face of Alliance programming. It’s dirty wee rebels hiding in forests on moons of Endor. It’s Gordon Jackson forgetting to speak German as he gets ont train to freedom. Anyway, the upshot is that I have to write all the html tags meself. I’m used to it. I found a resource ont web and found all the easy ways to do it. It didn’t take long.

But this means that I should fucking well know what’s making the text and/or appearance fuck up once the post has been published. After all, I put the damned tags in int first place. I should be able to trace em back and find the mis-matched tag, or the wrong letter, whatever it happens to be. So I don’t appreciate it when the fucking thing displays text on every single line, instead of the 1.4 spacing it’s supposed to have. It makes yer eyes funny. It gives you a headache reading it. I cite my previous posts on ‘Doctor bloody Who’ as examples. An’ there sure as fucking ‘ell int a good reason for it. I know, cos I’ve looked. More than a few times.

But, don’t worry, where’s there a net fuck-up there’s a solution – and as usual, it’s by outside smarties. If you want to fix that little line spacing horror, do what I did and go here. Sorted mine – see the wee waving Sam Tyler down there in the End Of Life post? Well the text on his right were all bunched up and screwed. Their little recommendation had it all straightened out again.

Also a while back I asked if anyone knew how to add the ‘Previous Posts’ html jobbie back to yer sidebar after ‘upgrading’ to the new Layouts. No-one seemed to know. A quick Google later, and ~ ta-dah! All my questions answered. As you can see, I now have that very widget in me sidebar again. Bloody marvellous.

I thought I were done. But no.
Now I don’t mind people asking me how I made the jump from PC to Mac, cos after all, it’s one of life’s great mysteries how anyone could put up wi a PC fer long. Anyway, I cheerfully tell people the truth: I decided one day, in a fit o rage (no change there then) to junk my fucking piece of noncy-arsed crappy laptop and get a piece o kit that dunt crash or simply re-start itself FOR NO DISCERNABLE REASON. Result? An hour int Apple Mac shop, pointing and asking questions, playing and trying to be perverse and downright obtuse. Didn’t work ~ went home wi a Mac Mini (before the advent of Intel in Macs, I might add). Now I had shitloads o programmes and shite that I really did not want to lose. But here’s the thing: I didn’t know how to use a Mac (apart from the obvious ‘click it and see what happens’ fun int shop) and I didn’t have any clue what I were doing.

Didn’t matter. If you’ve used PCs fer more than MSN, and know which end of a cable goes in a USB port, it really does not take more than ten minutes to work out that all you need is Version Tracker. Need summat to replace Trillian? Get Adium X. Need Bit Torrent fer Mac (even though Transmission is so much better!)? Got that too, as well as about five other kinds of P2P client. Free stuff from all over the ‘Verse, in all shapes and sizes, as well as actual commercial downloads from people like Adobe, an’ all available in one place. I can safely say there is nothing I need right now on me Mac – I have everything I want (and even a few things I don’t). So don’t, fert love of Sean Bean’s arse, tell me I have to go and ‘update my Java’ or ‘download the new version of IE’, cos I’ll stab you in the eye with a blunt pencil.

It just gets on my tits. I can’t be doing wi it. Really.

So when I then get people ask me how I run Windows on me Mac, I have one of them Moments. You know, like in True Lies, when Bill Paxton (support your B-movie actors!) is talking, trying to sell Arnholt a car, and he’s looking at him imagining him dying horribly. Yeah, one of THEM Moments. I want to just grab em and slap them across the face a few times, asking them why the fucking merry hell would I want to buy an Aston Martin and then rip out the hand-made Corinthian leather seats an’ sit on paint cans? Why would I buy a DVD player and try to push VHS tapes in it? Why would I haul Oscar the Grouch out of his bin and replace him with Elmo?

Gaaahhh! I can’t believe I started blogging about this. It’s not helping, it’s just making me worse. I’ve been sick, you see. But like the house, I’m better now. But I’ve not had a single sniff of alcohol or a cigarette in eight days. It’s been the most boring week of my life. I feel like Lindsey in Teachers – when you start to actually care about yer job. And then you get bored, realising that you don’t need to be watching just fert second… and then yer mind wanders. You realise you’ve lost half the conversation, and then a voice says:
“Teacher Sooz, does the Doctor have two hearts? And why?”
And you, still not actually concentrating, go:
“Well the Doctor’s a Lungbarrow Old-Blood, he was only Loomed with one heart to begin with. But Time Lords need two hearts to survive a regeneration, so they –”
There’s a nervous silence int classroom and then I chuckle.
“Just kidding. What do I know about science-fiction, eh? Finished that grammar exercise yet, then?”

Talking o which, must get onto last week’s ‘Doctor bloody Who’ episode, ‘Gridlock’. (Happy birthday to David Tennant, by the way. Hey mate, if yer short on birthday cheer, stop in at my gaff ont way home. I’m sure I could think o summat as would make you feel better.) Been a bit busy round here lately, what wi film awards and such.

Soopytwist.

Tags:
Blogger ~ html ~ Mac ~ IE ~ Safari ~ Opera ~ Trillian ~ Adium X ~ Bit Torrent ~ Doctor Who ~ Firefox

The 26th HK Film Awards

First off, ta to Man Utd and Wayne Rooney fer getting ‘Doctor bloody Who’ to me on time, and me cheque’s int post.

Long story ~ no tickets fert film awards this year. However, not crying about it too much, as it means I don’t have to suffer any Jay Chau fans screaming like murder every time his name is vaguely hinted at.

Anyway, it all took place just a few hours ago at the Cultural Centre (a little different from last year’s Coliseum arrangement, eh?). So here we are: a quick squiz at some o the bigger categories. For the complete list, take a look at the homepage.

Winners appear in yellow.

Best Film ~ 最佳電影

After This Our Exile 父子
Exiled 放‧逐
Election 2 黑社會以和為貴
Curse Of The Golden Flower 滿城盡帶黃金甲
Fearless 霍元甲

Best Director ~ 最佳導演

譚家明（父子） Patrick Tam Ka Ming (After This Our Exile)
杜琪（放．逐） Johnnie To Kei Fung (Exiled)
杜琪峯（黑社會以和為貴） Johnnie To Kei Fung (Election 2)
張藝謀（滿城盡帶黃金甲） Zhang Yimou (Curse Of The Golden Flower)
張之亮（墨攻） Jacob Cheung Chi Leung (A Battle Of Wits)

Best Screenplay ~ 最佳編劇

譚家明、田開良（父子） Patrick Tam Ka Ming & Tian Koi Leong (After This Our Exile)
張艾嘉、胡恩威、鄧潔明（生日快樂） Sylvia Chang, Mathias Woo & Theresa Tang (Happy Birthday)
阮世生、方晴、羅耀輝（我要成名） James Yuen Sai Sang, Jessica Fong & Lo Yiu Fai (My Name Is Fame)
游乃海、葉天成（黑社會以和為貴） Yau Nai Hoi & Yip Tin Shing (Election 2)
莊文強、麥兆輝（傷城） Felix Chong & Alan Mak (Confession Of Pain)

Best Actor ~ 最佳男主角

郭富城（父子） Aaron Kwok (After This Our Exile)
劉青雲（我要成名） Lau Ching Wan (My Name Is Fame)
梁朝偉（傷城） Tony Leung Chiu Wai (Confession Of Pain)
周潤發（滿城盡帶黃金甲） Chow Yun Fat (Curse Of The Golden Flower, Election)
李連杰（霍元甲） Jet Li (Fearless)

Best Actress ~ 最佳女主角

毛舜筠（大丈夫2） Teresa Mo Shun Kwan (Men Suddenly In Black 2)
劉若英（生日快樂） Rene Liu (Happy Birthday)
梁洛施（伊莎貝拉） Isabella Leong (Isabella)
李心潔（鬼域） Lee Sin Je (Re-Cycle)
鞏俐（滿城盡帶黃金甲） Gong Li (Curse Of The Golden Flower)

Best Supporting Actor ~ 最佳男配角

吳澋滔（父子） Goum Ian Iskandar (After This Our Exile)
任達華（黑社會以和為貴） Simon Yam (Election 2)
張家輝（黑社會以和為貴） Nick Cheung Ka Fai (Election 2)
周杰倫（滿城盡帶黃金甲） Jay Chou (Curse Of The Golden Flower)
劉燁（滿城盡帶黃金甲） Liu Ye (Curse Of The Golden Flower)

Best Supporting Actress ~ 最佳女配角

林熙蕾（父子）Kelly Lin (After This Our Exile)
梁洛施（妄想） Isabella Leong (Diary)
余安安（我要成名）Candice Yu (My Name Is Fame)
周迅（夜宴）Zhou Xun (The Banquet)
田蕊妮（師奶唔易做） Kristal Tin Yui Lee (The Mother Is A Belly Dancer)

Best New Performer ~ 最佳新演員

吳澋滔（父子） Goum Ian Iskandar (After This Our Exile)
霍思燕（我要成名） Huo Si Yan (My Name Is Fame)
裴唯瑩（狗咬狗） Pei Pei (Dog Bite Dog)
孫儷（霍元甲） Sun Li (Fearless)
Matthew Medvedev（寶貝計劃） (Rob. B. Hood)

Best Cinematography ~ 最佳攝影

李屏賓（父子） Mark Lee Ping Bing (After This Our Exile)
林志堅（伊莎貝拉） Charlie Lam (Isabella)
鄭兆強（放 . 逐） Cheng Siu Keung (Exiled)
劉偉強、黎耀輝（傷城） Andrew Lau Wai Keung & Lai Yiu Fai (Confession Of Pain)
趙小丁（滿城盡帶黃金甲） Zhao Xiaoding (Curse Of The Golden Flower)

Best Original Film Score ~ 最佳原創電影音樂

金培達（伊莎貝拉） Peter Kam Pui Tat (Isabella)
譚盾（夜宴） Tan Dun (The Banquet)
陳光榮（傷城） Chan Kwong Wing (Confession Of Pain)
梅林茂（滿城盡帶黃金甲）Shigeru Umebayashi (Curse Of The Golden Flower)
川井憲次（墨攻） Kenji Kawai (A Battle of Wits)

Best New Director ~ 新晉導演

羅永昌（天生一對） Law Wing Cheong (2 Become 1)
吳彥祖（四大天王） Daniel Wu (The Heavenly Kings)
葉念琛（獨家試愛） Patrick Kong (Marriage With A Fool)

Best Asian Film ~ 最佳亞洲電影

小孩不笨２ ( I Not Stupid Too) ~ 新加坡 Singapore
千里走單騎 (Riding Alone For Thousands Of Miles) ~ 中國 China
死亡筆記 (Death Note) ~ 日本 Japan
瘋狂的石頭 (Crazy Stone) ~ 中國 China
韓流怪嚇 (The Host) ~ 韓國 Korea


So Mr K (Aaron Kwok / 郭富城 / Gwok Fu-Sihng / Sihng-Sihng / God of Dance / Ah Wong, etc.)’s film 'After This Our Exile (父子)' garnered no less than ten nominations ~ as if we were counting. We just wanted him to actually win in Hong Kong fer a change. Two Taiwanese Golden Horse awards are lovely, an’ all that, but there’s nowt like winning at home, now is there? Come on folks, what the bloody hell does he have to do fer HK audiences and judging panels to appreciate him? Fucking ‘ell, what do you want, blood? Just not right. To be honest, I haven’t seen all the other performances, but I’m still mightily miffed our Aaron didn’t win. Well, kind of thinking its monumentally unjust, actually. That was a towering, bloody magnificent performance. And if that dunt deserve to win, I honestly don’t know what does.

At least we got Best Film, and Tony Leung Chiu-Wai gave out the award, and was wee and lovely. But small consolation ~ we wanted Aaron fer Best Actor! Just not right, I tell you, just not right…

But I have to say, I love Chow Yun-Fat fer his little presentation-speech-ont-sofa piece. Aw, lovely ~ “just want to bite him all over”, as Kaylee would say. And wee Ian won Best Supporting Actor and Best New Performer – not bad fer ten years old, I think. A bit disappointed that ‘Deathnote’ didn’t win, cos it were a bloody cracking piece of film. But never mind, eh? Praps it were a bit fast-moving fer HK audiences. I bloody loved it, though.

So a little bit of a roller-coaster then. At times fun, at times plain funny (Cheung Ga-Fai is a riot as a presenter), but ultimately disappointing ~ again. When will they finally give Aaron the award?

I’ll call England and have a rant. No peach and lube tonight, no smiles and nods. Just plain time fer bed, said Zebedee.


Tags:
Hong Kong ~ HK Film Awards ~ Aaron Kwok ~ 郭富城 ~ 父子~ After This Our Exile ~ Patrick Tam ~ Golden Horse Awards ~ Taiwan ~ Deathnote ~ Chow Yun-Fat

End of Life as we know it

Evening.
Well, let’s get down to business, shall we? No need to ask what everyone and their brother is talking about – that last ever episode of ‘Life On Mars’. And o my dog, it were a real doozy.

WARNING ~ this post will contain SPOILERS left, right and centre. You have been warned!
Gratuitous picspam can be found on me sister-ship over here.

Right. You know yer at a panto and yer sposed to shout at the leading ladies/men in drag, etc? The old “he’s behind you!” malarkey? Well who didn’t do that t’other night at Sam Tyler / Williams / Tyler? Well, not “he’s behind you”, obviously, but more of “he’s lying to you, Sam!” and “don’t listen to him, Sam!” and “don’t be such a dozy muppet, Sam!” etc. I know I did. I think I must have upset the neighbours wi me shouting and thumping the desk, directing Sam as if he could hear me. Then again, I expect countless others did too, around Blighty and the far-flung places where downloads are also available (hey, where’s there’s a net connection, there’s a way, eh?).

Now you lot all know I don’t live in Blighty. I used to, that much is also obvious. And after I’d been here in Hong Kong a while, I began to think I missed a few things about the old place and thought about going back. Now, bear wi me, cos this does actually have a lot to do wi Sam Tyler and why he jumped.

Anyway, I’ve been abroad for going on five years, now. And I don’t get back very often, sometimes it’s a good twelve or fourteen months before I go back. I hate the whole trip, it’s just so much hassle. Anyway, last time were fer some unfortunate funeral business, so I went. I left Hong Kong’s twenty degree, semi-humid (70%), easy weather and air, and got on a plane. I had a twelve hour flight which I slept through completely, making my flight actually about only twenty minutes (I tend to do this a lot. I get bored easily, alright?). I got off to find I were in Gatwick, it were seven degrees and pissing it down. Bloody marvellous, eh. The air’s different, the ground’s different, every bastard thing’s different. It’s familiar, and it starts out comfortable, cos it’s the thing you should be wanting back. But as time goes on you already know that you’re not staying. Whether you’ve actually given the coherent thought time to flit across yer grey cell(s) or not, it’s already been decided. You’re not staying here. Why? Because it’s not what yer used to any more. It’s familiar, and it’s home, but summat about it just int right. It’s just not going to be.

I came back to Hong Kong. I’ve stopped nagging about a few wee things as pissed me off, and I’m starting to appreciate more of what I do actually have out here. Before it were taken fer granted. Now it’s fucking marvelled over, I tell you.

And that’s why he jumped – clock his face as he’s in that board meeting. I mean, bugger me, but were he just dying to shout “yer all a lot of useless bloody pencil-pushing nonces!” and storm out, or what? And he’s not like he’s needed there – he’s the same as every other fucking copper int place, he’s nowt special. At least in 1973 he’s doing summat useful, bringing in changes or making arrests that count. And I knew he couldn’t leave Annie.

But blagging that he’s reading a Kingsley Amis piece in a porn mag? What were he reading, his theories upon the ‘comic inferno’?

So a nice ending, then (‘specially the moment he tuned the Guv’s radio into David Bowie). Loved it, loved it, loved it. But now what? No more sayings brought us by the letters N, O, N, C or E from the Gene Genie? No more insults or witty come-backs? Bugger, I were enjoying them. And he kept giving em, right to the end. His “Get off! I’m not a fairy!” as Sam tries to help him up had me in stitches, fair to say, but I were so emotionally fagged-out by that stage that I would have found the shipping forecast the funniest fucking thing since Morecambe and Wise did that routine to “The Stripper”. So, once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more? Alrighty then – Huntisms are afoot.

Sam: “Where is it? Your gun? You were waving it about like Charles Bronson on crack a few hours ago. Where is it?”

Gene: “What I call a dream involves Diana Dors and a bottle of chip oil.”

Gene: “Whereas me – slept like a baby.”
Sam: “Yeah, a twenty stone baby that burps, snores, farts…”
Gene: “I do NOT snore.”

Gene: “You know what? My squirrel instinct tells me he’s even more of a bastard than I first thought.”

Gene: “Grab ‘em by the balls and their hearts and minds will surely follow. That’s policing.”

Gene: “Oh shut up, you noncy-arsed fairy-boy.”

And of course, praps me favourite throughout the entire two series:
“Breath that could strip the fur off a badger!”

Was it me though, or was 2006 completely surreal? A quick wake-up and back to work routine, was it? Just didn’t seem real. Or was that the point? Even though I was shouting at him to go back, I have to admit that, given time, he would have got used to 2006 all over again. Would have found his Virgin mobile, his photocopiers and PCs. If he’d been trapped there more’n a week, would he still have jumped? And just when he did jump – how did that send him back? Or did it not, did it just put him back in a coma? Or were he never in a coma to begin with?

Ah me, eh? The end, then. Sam’s happy, Annie’s happy, Ray’s happy (“like two Cox’s Pippins in a bag”), Chris is happy (“what do you mean, ‘going to be’?”), Phyllis is happy (“I’m not just a sex goddess, you know”), and even Gene’s happy (“I am the law!”). What else is going to occupy the gossip channels and net boards? It’s been a rip-roaring two series, I’ll give em that. The best telly (bar ‘Doctor bloody Who’, of course) the BBC’s had in… ooh, yonks. And it’s been so much more than just a telly programme. Just Google the name and see what comes up. Boggles the mind.

I mean, yeah yeah, there’s this new ‘Ashes to Ashes’ thing, but is it really going to work? Some might say series two was already showing some creaky bits, me included. And the first series were about eight years int making. So do we really need a slapdash spin-off just now? After they already did it with ‘Torchwood’ and found it’s divided the country more’n, well, the issue of same-sex civil registrations? Shouldn’t they just quit while they’re ahead? After all, whether this new series about the Gene Genie in 1981 wi some buxom bird giving him some right lip is going to be a success or not in its own right dunt come into it – it’s never going to hold its own again the pure genius of ‘Life On Mars’.

Mind you, that’s what they said about series two of ‘Doctor bloody Who’, after Chris Eccleston left. Hmm…


Ah well. Time fer bed, said Zebedee.

Tags:
Life On Mars ~ Gene Hunt ~ Sam Tyler ~ Gene Genie ~ BBC ~ Ashes To Ashes ~ Huntisms ~ Doctor Who ~ Chris Eccleston ~ Torchwood

Saving The Globe, one witch at a time

So here we are, beginnings and endings. The last ever, ever, ever, EVER episode of ‘Life On Mars’ will be broadcast in Blighty in just a few days, promising to be a TV event of millions n’ hundreds proportions, audience-wise. Can’t wait. Do you reckon he’s really in a coma, then? Do you reckon he’s really in 1973? Does he even want to go home, still? I clocked his face at the end of episode seven, when the replacement DCI told him he’d find a way to ‘bring him home’. Was that a face of horror, due to realising that the bugger knew about Sam wanting to get home and in effect, being in on it? Or horror cos he realised that praps he dunt want to leave 1973 after all? I mean, come on, Mya’s gone. Apparently. And Annie’s much nicer, I reckon. Do you reckon he’ll stay where he is, even if it means living on ‘life support’ or whatever his fevered brain’s been telling him? Go back to the normal, mundane, familiar 2006? Hmm… Tough decision. I don’t what I’d do. I might be tempted to stay – the feeling of superiority that comes from knowing ‘the future’, the fun and games of working wi the lads an’ lasses in the dingy, diffuser-free lighting, the freedom to drink and smoke whenever you want – at work… I don’t know. Tough. After having lived amongst them and having all that, would you really leave it behind? For Blair and Virgin mobiles, Vauxhall Omega force cars and McDonald’s? PC thinking and government censorship? Tough, definitely tough. Could you really walk away from all that? And Annie?

But that’s an ending – save the US remake that we’ll cough at, shuffle our feet over and politely ignore as only English people can, thank you very much. I won’t go on, I just think it’s wrong. Hey, here’s a tip, fellas – we know the ending! However, re-writes and remakes are hotbeds of quirks, surprises and different endings. We can hope. Although, judging by the level of imagination used in certain other remakes, I’m not holding out much hope.

Alright, alright, stop right there! I’m being negative and peevish. And anyway, I should be on about beginnings now, right? I should be happy and pretending to be a well-adjusted member of society again, right?



There we are ~ much more like it! So, apart from boogying round danger like a sold gold dancer, what else was the Doctor up to, in last night’s episode two of the new series three? Hmm…

I have done my best not to include spoilers, and there won’t be any about the actual episode, but maybe a few about the characters…

It struck me quite early on that the Doctor’s not interested in finding out about his ‘one trip and then home’ charge, Martha. As they’re walking down a street and she has to remind him of the fact that she’s “not exactly white”, he kinda looks at her like he’s only just noticed, in true Doctor fashion. It’s not that it dunt matter, it’s that he never saw it int first place. In a very Mickey Smith kinda way, he’s not bothered. And even when there could have been a very awkward moment, when they find out there’s only one bed int room they’ve been given, still all he can talk about is how Rose would have stated the obvious and the problem would have been solved. Martha, of course, is one step away from rolling her eyes, realising he’s less than a foot away and already looking very comfortable on an Elizabethan bed. But come off it – this is the Doctor, and that’s not what he’s about. She just doesn’t know it yet. He actually states quite clearly that another character’s feminine whiles definitely won’t work on him, and to cut it out. Nice one, Doctor – he’s back to normal, then. Well, as normal as you can be after your best playmate int all the worlds has been taken away from you, and you’re left to play on your own. Cos that’s all he’s really in it for, int it? It’s just one bit of fun to the next – and sometimes, the dangerous bits get in between. But that’s alright, cos he is the cleverest being in the known universe. Or is he?

I liked this episode for the fact that the brown suit was back – yay! – and they’d stopped arsing around wi his hair. All back to normal. (And we even got a few GBS as he leaned over the TARDIS controls, using his foot to knock the far buttons. Bloody marvellous.) And for his admission that, ok, maybe he isn’t the cleverest being int all the worlds, and for the whole “I’ve only got one heart working – how do you people cope?” scene, and the moment he quoted Shakespeare and the bard realised it were his work, and of course, Dean Lennox Kelly as Shakespeare is fab. An excellent choice.

I’m really struggling now – not cos of the episode, but cos I’ve been dying of food poisoning fert last 24 hours. Sleeping on and off while I’m not spewing from either end fert last 18 hours has not helped, so I thought I’d get up and do summat worthwhile. I just can’t keep the monitor still to see what I’ve written, so apologies if some of these sentences don’t make sense.

And on that note, I’m going to watch gratuitous amounts of ‘Firefly’ to amuse me and make me forget I’m aching all over.

‘Night.

Tags:
Life On Mars ~ Gene Hunt ~ Sam Tyler ~ BBC ~ Doctor Who ~ David Tennant ~ Freema Agyeman ~ Martha Jones ~ Dean Lennox Kelly ~ Shakespeare ~ food poisoning

Sir Gene of Hunt, the Eminently Quotable

We’re up to episode seven in series two of ‘Life On Mars’ now, right? So just one more to go… Actually, I’ve just finished episode six, I have seven but just haven’t had time to watch it. More on that in another post.

So, quite a while ago (March of last year, I believe) I had a post about the many varied and amusing sayings of Gene Hunt, or the Gene Genie, from series one. ‘Huntisms’, if you will. A few classics from series one:

“There’ll never be a woman prime minister so long as I’ve got hole in me arse.”
“It’s whiter than a ginger bird’s arse!”
“It’s 1973, almost dinnertime. I’m having ‘oops!”
“Anything happens to this motor, I’ll come round to yer houses and stamp on all yer toys!”
“I’m not catholic myself but doesn’t it say ‘thou shalt not suck off rent boys’?”
“If me uncle had tits he’d be me auntie.”
“This is Salford. You’re more likely to find an ostrich with a plum it’s arse.”
“Bloody ‘ell, I’ve seen road accidents look more cheerful than you.”

It’s occurred to me that, since we’ve had series two, I’ve not made owt of his further tirades, quips or straight one-liners. So here we go, a few from, I think, episodes one and five (who doesn’t love the Camberwick Green moment?)

Sam: “Well, going on the fact that you broke my door down, I take it it’s [the case] is big?”
Gene: “Like Shelley Winters’ arse!”

“That’s faker than a tranny’s fanny.”
“Black suits you Eddows, do you want an eye in the same colour?”
“Good work Raymond-o, I’m bumping you back up to DS. Only this time, make it stand for Detective Sergeant and not Dog Shit.”
“Sounds like a vendetta. Tell me, was he boffing your mother up the Harris and eating all your cream horns while he was at it?”

Gene: “What’s up with you?”
Sam: “I’m dying.”
Gene: “Rubbish, I look like you do every Sunday morning.”

[Chris farts in the van] “What’ve you been eating, Pedigree Chum?”

And one of my personal favourites (knowing of the Gene Genie’s penchant fer supportin the Blue Mancs):
“You great soft-sissy-girlie-nancy-French-bender-Man-Utd-supporting puff!”

Class. But let’s not forget Sam. He’s been learning from the guv, and no mistake:

Gene: “We’ll get the Doc in here with her big –“
Sam: “BASTARD big!”
Gene: “Bastard big sedative…”

And THEE classic line from episode five, otherwise known as the ‘Sam Does Speed / Camberwick Green’ episode:
“Listen you! I can just about handle you driving like a pissed-up crack-head and treating women like beanbags, but I’m going to say this once, and once only Gene: stay out of Camberwick Green!”

Don’t worry, I’m not posting any spoilers here. I have enjoyed the new series so far, but at times it’s felt like they’ve tried too hard to make everyone caricatures o what they were from series one, wi the notable exception of Annie Cartwright. Big eyes, bouncy hair, and not a complete plonk after all. Although sometimes I wonder just what Sam’s unleashed, making her a DI… Her standing over that matey, having chained him to the bed, brandishing a leather whip had me in stitches ~ “he were just about to talk, guv!”

And the casino / intensive care murdering one. Hmm. I were watching, thinking, I know that matey, that blokey called Tony Crane. I’ve seen him just this week, I’m sure I have… Now, where would it have been… What other BBC stuff have I been watching just -.
Ah. ‘Doctor bloody Who’ strikes again. Mr Marc Warren, if I’m not much mistaken, the lovely Elton character from ‘Love and Monsters’ – yeah, the episode famous fer Peter Kay's absorbablob-thing, and of course the Doctor’s Dick Van Dyke rendition of “Elton! Fetch a spade!”

Yep, that’s the lad, Marc Warren. Not to be confused wi the local nonce-master Warren, who had the nightclub and was gay “as a bloody Christmas tree” in series one. Curiously enough, I were sitting, thinking about summat completely different (always the way, right?) and I realised that Marc Warren was none other than Captain Rymer, from that ‘Sharpe’ episode about him climbing the walls (literally) to get into Badajoz before his sorry excuse for a slice o the British Army got in there and started divvying up the local birds – one of which was Teresa Moreno, lookin after their wee girl Antonia. So this matey Marc Warren’s been in pretty much everything, then. The Kevin Bacon o UK TV’s Six Degrees games, you could say. Hmm…

Well, I think that’s me done. I’m keeping a sharp ear out fer more from the Gene Genie, cos he does make me laff an spit out me tea when he comes out with them one-liners so fast, and lookin like it’d be rude not to.

So, waiting fer tomorrow night… BBC 1, 7pm… Shakespeare! Shakespeare! And according to Russell T. Davies, he’s kinda like one o the Gallagher Brothers. Except, I’m betting, he dunt have a Moss Side accent. Can we can hope fer another "Judoon platoon upon the Moon" moment, too? “Weeell…” as the Doctor would say…

Peach and lube then. See you ont other side.

Tags:
Life On Mars ~ Gene Hunt ~ Sam Tyler ~ BBC ~ Marc Warren ~ Huntisms ~ Doctor Who ~ Sharpe ~ Oasis

Saturday night’s alright for frighting

So, watched the new-new episode of Doctor Who season 3 (29) Sunday night. A little late, but then, I am five thousand miles from Blighty. But I would walk five thousand miles and I would walk five thousand more to watch it, so absolutely nowt would stop me getting to it.

Enjoyed it much like a ten year old would, I imagine. Rhino-aliens, running, shouting, sonic screwdrivers both broken and new, human-looking aliens, thunderbolts and lightning – very very frightening, the moon, Chuck Taylor’s, new girls with half a brain, old Doctors with omnipotent ones… it were all there, alright. What’s not to like? I have to say, as a series opener it hit the spot. Not a lax moment there.

So New Bird seems up to the job, then. But of course she does, otherwise she wouldn’t be int series. Seems very nice. I might even like her, seeing as she’s not a complete brainless bit of eye candy. Not that she’s not a stunner, but that’s not all that she’s there to do, I think. And the Doctor’s… well, the Doctor. Crying over his broken sonic screwdriver – and then getting a replacement. Where does he get them, anyway? Is it summat you just buy off a shelf? Or do you go int shop and find a sign saying ‘please ask at counter fert sonic stuff’?

And a quick-change of shoes, too. I have to say, I was rolling around laffing as he was trying to ‘expel the radiation’. Although, after the Tennster’s turn on The Friday Night Project and Graham Norton, there was a looooong moment of horrible trepidation as I wondered just how he’d accomplish this. But then, this is a kid’s show for grown-ups, so you couldn’t have him plumbing the depths of slapstick just fert TV’s sake. Except then he did as he tried to get his rather fine red Chuck Taylor off. Leaving him as The Man With One Red Shoe! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-haaaa!

No, seriously, he’s done well not being a complete replica and yet not being too over the top – yet. I did sense a rather weird Casanova-type moment when he was pretending NOT to believe the alien was The Bad Alien. I half-expected him to say “go on, you’re an alien, aren’t you? Aren’t you? I spied you!”

And him sat up in a hospital bed ~ how does someone manage to look so innocent and so omnipotent at the same time? Boggles the mind.

But what did they do to his hair? Seriously, that peak of Dover-like proportions needs a good stiff drink to make it relax ~ it’s way too rigid. It were alright when it were just kinda floppy and all over the shop. Much more Doctor-ish. I mean, come on, does he look the type to stand in front o the mirror and arse about wi his hair? Really?

Music – ah, now then. I am a sucker fer film and TV music, anyone’ll tell you that. I think I’m liking the new “Martha’s Theme” thing, but I noticed they used an outstanding “Song For Ten” score all the way through, too. Beautiful.

And nice to see the girlie who used to help Messers Fry and Laurie wi all their early skits (yes, the 'you scumbaaaaaag!' wifey). And there were so many nice touches of dialogue, so many wee tweaks that kept it amusing and light and fluffy and everything that Saturday night telly should be. I think there were only two moments of ‘now if I appear to be carefree, it’s only to camouflage my sadness, and to shield my pride I try to cover this hurt with a show of gladness’, but they were over swiftly enough. I did like Martha’s dig at his suits, the tie gag, the rain going up, the shedding of the shoe, and his mouthing along to her shocked realisation that the TARDIS is “bigger on the inside!” Much like his pockets. Apparently.

Anyway, that’s yer lot, I have to go work. Soopytwist!


Tags:
Doctor Who ~ BBC ~ David Tennant ~ Freema Agyeman ~ Casanova ~ Martha Jones ~ TARDIS ~ Chuck Taylors