Sunday 17 June 2007

Boxes and captains and watches, oh my!


Where do you start? Literally, where do you start? To say that last night’s ‘Doctor bloody Who’ was an epic of Roman Coliseum proportions would be calling the Roman Coliseum a seven-by-seven foot bedsit in Birmingham.

So many things to try to put into words. So few words with which to do it...

First off, we have Sir Derek Jacobi, sweet old granddad and maker of lovely lovely skience, who HEARS DRUMS IN HIS HEAD AND I’VE HEARD THAT RIFF BEFORE AND O MY DOG I KNOW WHO’S HIDING IN HIS HEAD –

Sorry. Hang on a tick, let me calm down. Right:

We have John Barrowman, shiny-shiny-grin-grin Captain Jack Harkness asking why he were abandoned in a ‘nobody like de smelly puppy’ kinda way – AND HE HAD THE HAND IN THE BACKPACK AND MARTHA DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS TEN’S AND

Sorry. I’ll take a deep breath. Right:

And we had more drums and HE HAD A POCKET WATCH AND NOW WE ALL KNOW WHO’S HIDING INSIDE AND MY HEAD’S GOING TO EXPLODE FROM EXCITEMENT COS NO-ONE ELSE IN ME HOUSE HAS CLOCKED IT AND IT’S THE MOST SQUEEEABLE MOMENT IN TV HISTORY

Sorry, again. Really. And then it all comes to pass, and purr wee Davey Doctor realises the awful awful truth about pretty much everything cos MARTHA’S CLOCKED THE WATCH AND KNOWS HE’S NOT THE LAST TIME LORD AND

I’m just not doing very well, am I? Deep breath… Deep breath…

Ok. And then we get A MASTER REGENERATION SEQUENCE AND HE TURNS INTO THE MOST EE-VIL CRAZY BASTARD IN THE UNIVERSE – JOHN BLOODY SIMM!

Ok, so we knew John Simm were coming. But I were having doubts about him actually becoming The Master. I mean, that old Face of Boe could have been selling porky pies ont quiet. And yet… and yet… What genius was that? You Are Not Alone = Professor YANA. Inspired! Genius! Stellar!

Russell T. Davies: you are monumental. Sir Derek Jacobi: you had me fooled. John Barrowman, you can have my phone number fer when yer man’s out working. John Simm: ‘Why don’t we stop and have a nice little chat where I tell you all my plans and you work out a way to stop me – I don’t think! End of the universe: have fun! Bye-bye!’ You are an acting god. Freema Agyeman: I want to be you when I grow up, and David Tennant: calm it mate, you’ll burst a blood vessel.

Does TV get any better than this? Does it? Does it? I like to think NO.

Can’t really put everything into words right now. Have to think. And watch it again. And prepare for the Oncoming Storm that will be… The Big Hyowj John Simm v the Tennster Bish-Bash-Bosheroo Showdown Two Part Season-ender.

I just don't want the last two episodes to come, really. No, really. Cos then it'll really be over. And that's just not fair. I cannot imagine a Saturday night without Ten and Martha. But then... but then... The Master! He's back! Gaaaaah! Can we wait till next week? Can we bloody hell as like!

Deep breath… Deep breath…

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6 comments:

* (asterisk) said...

You're clearly either a Doctor Who fan of some standing or very attentive. Or both. A few weeks ago you were on about that Saxon blokey, I think, and the name meant nothing to me. But it's all coming around, ain't it?

Good to see the Master back, though. I remember him from the olden days. I seem to recall he had a little beard or Fu Manchu moustache or something, from when I used to buy Doctor Who comic, when it was a weekly with comic strips and villain profiles, rather than the glossy monthly it is now.

It's good having the Doctor back. And better than ever. And we're big Martha fans, too, even though neither the missus nor I want to be her when we grow up. I hope that works out for yer.

Anonymous said...

I like to pretend I'm a wee bit of both, LOL

Apparently next week's Confidential is all about The Master - fert newbies, I suppose, ROFL

Martha's cool. She slaps and shoots!

SD

Anonymous said...

Even I peed in my pants a little in excitement at this one! Although seeing all 3 of them in the same episode did make my gaydar go DING! DING! DING! Have you seen 300 yet? Have you? Hmmmm. mmmm?

FOUR DINNERS said...

A good'n 'n then some. Best show on't box by miles. Can't wait for me box set at Christmas. Get a couple of mates round early morning and watch series 1 - through to the end of this one. Bliss

Anonymous said...

Have I seen '300'? Are you joking?

ROFL

I'm more than a little miffed that the boxed set's not out till end of November... We have to wait that long? GRRRRRR.....

Just as well I 'record' each week, int it?

*insert big grin here*

SD

weenie said...

*sigh* - another cracking episode missed.

It'll be sod's law that when my social life hits rock bottom, there'll be nowt but rubbish on tv!