*IS HAPPY*


So it’s been a looooooong holiday, which is kind of odd cos it was only three days and I really wanted another three tacked ont end. Anyway, those three days went by really fast but I felt every minute of them. Sick all day Christmas Day, stayed under my duvets and slept. Boxing Day was pretty much eating crap and having a real Fandom Friday (on a Saturday! I’m such a rebel!) by watching Never Mind The Buzzcocks (recent David Tennant edition) followed by a double bill of Farscape, and then the Christmas Day Doctor bloody Who to top it all off. Phew.

Sunday - writing. And writing. And writing. And Skype being a twat and cutting me off every five minutes. No pub quiz = me killing monsters and twisting knives in popular characters. In stories, you understand.

I woke up this morning to find the results of the 2009 UnGen Awards (over at Supernaturalville, the best place for Supernatural fan fiction) had been announced.

And this is where I stand on my chair and start partying like vodka’s $19.99:







Yeah, those banners (made by the lovely artists also at SPNVille) are entirely clickable and they will take you to the winning/runner-up stories. And yeah, that’s me still partying. I’ve never won owt before and this place is kind of special to me, so getting not only nominated but also voted a winner by the readers of the site has pretty much made my month. I went to work with a bemused smile on my face that later turned into a smug grin, and even though my wrist is killing me because I spent hours poring over and finishing my latest fan fiction story last night (still code-named SPN38 at the moment while I think of a cunning title), I’m still grinning right now.

… But I wasn’t even aware that ‘Abra Cadaver’ WAS a romance…

*shrugs*

And THEN I realised I hadn’t even pimped this one-shot all about Castiel!




I think that’s everything. Yeah. Hope you all had as good a Christmas as I did. Got some really cool presents, too, but I think I’ll leave that for another day. I’ve already pestered you good people enough.

Peach and lube, everyone, peach and frelling lube!

Tags:
Supernatural ~ fan-fic

Sherlock Holmes

I've just watched the new 'Sherlock Holmes' film at the pictures here in Hong Kong and I have a shocking confession:

I liked it!

I'm a confirmed Jeremy Brett fan, and there still is only one true Sherlock Holmes for me. I love the books, too. But this film was good enough. So stop fucking whinging about Robert Downey Junior being American and stop going off on one about how Jude Law should have been Holmes - it's really starting to take the piss. All you have to do is watch the sodding film and let your knickers untwist and you'll be fine. Really.

And if one more person says 'It's like Iron Man but with walking sticks' I'll go fucking spare. Try watching it first, numptie. It's good. It's funny. It's got some excellent lines and the actors are WELL CAST. Everyone does a bang-up job and the cinematography (or made-up grimy London, perhaps) is ace. Costumes: ace. Settings: ace. Dialogue: ofttimes hilarious. Gentlemen arguments made up of silent stares and jerks of the chin? Aceness.

I say: it's good. I'd give it 9 out of 10, only because I didn't get the one anti-CSI gag I was waiting for (long story).


Shut the fuck up, angsty whiny little change-haters. It was good. Deal with it.

P.S.:
Dear Mr Ritchie,
In the sequel (should there be one), can we have Clive Owen as Moriarty?
Ta,
Soupdragon.

Tags:
Sherlock Holmes ~ Robert Downey Junior ~ Jude Law

Conversations of the week

Student: Teacher, I saw a toy of Mr Potato, and he was a Transformer!
Me: Mr Potato Head? Oh - Optimash Prime, right? With a red and blue head?
Student: Yes! It is so cool - I want one.
Me: Do you know they make others, too? Like Darth Tater?
Student: Darth Vader?
Me: It’s a Mr Potato Head but he’s wearing Darth Vader’s black helmet, yes.
Student: Waa! And some more?
Me: They make others, like Artoo Potatoo and an Indiana Jones. I’m sure they must make tonnes of other cool ones, but I don’t know what they are.
Student: They could make… Doctor Who!
Me: What, and call him ‘Doctor Spud’?
Student: What mean ‘spud’?
Me: Potato.
Student: Oh. No, they can make Dalek Spud! Like a Mr Potato but no leg, only the big dalek thing - skirt.
Me: I like it! And a melty Davros face!
Student: Yes! And he no have a gun, just a kitchen thing that takes off potato skin!
Me: *rolling around with laughter*
Student: And a new toy - a Terminator spud!
Me: A Spudinator?
Student: Yes! With a bite hole for no eye and a red light there, like the old movie!
Me: *speechless with laughter*





Student: Teacher, I saw a comic and it had zombies.
Me: Cool. What was it about?
Student: Well… There have some people, and they are munched on, and they are now zombies.
Me: ‘Munched on’? *rolls round laughing* Munched on. Yeah, I like that. Munched on. Sorry, carry on.
Student: But I don’t know one thing.
Me: What’s that?
Student: Well if a zombie you can kill it with squishing his brain, what happen if a zombie attacks the man and eats his brain? Does he becomes a zombie?
Me: That would be hard with no brain. No, I don’t think he does.
Student: Oh, ok. So… how do you know if you eat the brain?
Me: Oh conkers - brain, ice-cream, brain, ice-cream - I always get those two mixed up.
Student: *laughs* No no no - what does a brain looks like?
Me: Like a brain.
Student: But like what?
Me: Uhm… scrambled egg. In grey.
Student: Oh.
Me: What?
Student: McDonald’s scrambled egg? Or real scrambled egg my mother makes?
Me: [Moment where I control myself and try not to laugh] I think probably real scrambled egg. McDonald’s scrambled egg isn’t really…
Student: Scrambled?
Me: Exactly. Yeah, definitely homemade scrambled egg.
Student: Then I don’t want breakfast.
Me: You could have boiled eggs.
Student: *quietly, thoughtfully* They look something like octopus eyes.
Me: And?
Student: I don’t want to eat eyes.
Me: You eat fish eyes, right?
Student: Sometimes.
Me: Same-same. But larger.
Student: Oh yeah.


Tags:
Hong Kong ~ teaching ~ Mr Potato Head ~ zombies

The Online Identity Affair

Does this make me a lesbian? Or just living in a world that isn’t entirely real? I really can’t work this out. Hang on, back up - let me start at the beginning and maybe I’ll have a snowball’s chance of working this whole affair out.

That’s what I’ll call it, in a Man From U.N.C.L.E. kind of way: The Online Identity Affair.

I’ve been on Twitter for a while. And I do like cars. So when I stumbled upon a few role-playing people on said networking platform, and one of them was playing none other than ‘Metallicar’ of ‘Supernatural’ TV show fame, I felt obliged to ‘follow’ them. A bit of surreal flirting, a little ignorance of the fact that, as far as I’m concerned, the Metallicar is female, and lots of fun was had. I have no problem admitting my love (not lust, unless you’re talking for how she sounds) for a female car. That’s fine. Besides, the user behind the obviously fake Twitter ID was male, right? Judging by the replies and the willingness to have a harmless flirt now and again made me believe this.

As it turns out, I was wrong. Said user is female. So am I. This is not what freaks me out. What is a little unsettling is that I still kind of enjoy ‘flirting’ with this user - because, as I justify it to myself, she is still a car who is a character in a TV show. None of this is real.

Or is it?

I run my own user account for Twitter, obviously. I also have two (count them) bots that retweet my favourite show’s targeted hashtags. They do this so that, in the case of the first show, it doubles the tweets and adds more users who follow and connect, and in the case of the second show, proves there is an underground movement of people still watching and wanting to connect via the show we still love. Originally, both accounts were to be completely automated and I would have no input to them whatsoever - just the occasional check that they were running and performing as their Yahoo Pipe instructions were set. But as time has gone on, I have received replies to the bot itself, as other users become curious or simply leave friendly feedback. That’s when you get into multiple ID (and therefore, personality?) territory. Writing as one ‘bot is easy - it’s just me, minus the swear words. Writing replies as the other demands thinking like the character in the TV show. It also involves using different Twitter clients on my iPhone, so that people can see my three different identities accessing Twitter from different software - not the same person in the same location using the same client. That would give the game way, after all.

All this is easy. This is fine. It’s when you throw a totally brand new Twitter ID into the mix that it gets complicated. Yes, folks, I have two perfectly good Twitter usernames - and while everyone knows the original one is actually me, the actual identity of the second one is a closely guarded secret. It’s fun because I can write stuff that people who ‘follow’ me would not stomach - and I can criticise or take the piss out of all kinds of stuff that I wouldn’t normally. It really is fun.

But it calls for yet another Twitter client on my iPhone, and another time zone. Pretending to be someone of a different gender in a pretty much opposite time zone turns you into James Bond as far as checking when and how you tweet goes. And the spelling. And the fun of having to understand how channels work over the pond so you don’t get caught out mentioning you haven’t seen a certain season of a popular show when it’s been aired on their continent.

Still, good times. Which brings me back to my problem: does flirting (albeit online because you’re bored and in need of a Monty Python-esque conversation) with a female character (of a car) who actually does turn out to be female mean you have lesbian tendencies? When you still check all the online photos of your favourite actors, none of which are female? Or does it just mean you like a bit of both?

Answers on a postcard, please.

Tags:
Twitter ~ Supernatural ~ Metallicar ~ lesbian

Storm Warriors

Aaron Kwok, wewungwung and the Pang Brothers. Sold.

Bought tickets, got to the cinema, fucking loved it. It has without doubt the most epicly beautiful scenes of wewungwung ever filmed.


It’s not the same as the first one - Storm Riders (and the name change for number two comes due to some argument over the rights to the title, I believe). It’s bigger, bolder, brasher, and of course, has more CGI. The brothers Pang obviously watched 300 about three hundred times and made copious notes. They did it well - aesthetically stunning with cinematography to die for. They left quite a few threads hanging at the end, so hopefully there will be another sequel at some point. As long as Bo Ging-Wan is back in the form of Aaron Kwok, I’ll be there. And if they could possibly find a way for Charlene Choi’s character to die, that’d be great.


My, my, Bo Ging-Wan, what a large sword you have.


At this point I have to point out that I'm jealous how amazing Aaron Kwok's wig looks. I wish my (real) hair did that.


Oh yes, almost forgot - Cheng Yi-Kin was back, too, as Nip Fung. His hair was also a main cast member, but not as impressive as Aaron's.

And I do have to point out that while Bo Ging-Wan (Aaron Kwok) was clad in far too many layers for most of the film, he did at least get his top off for some gratuitous sword practice for a few moments. It was worth the wait.

And that's about it. It's crazy late here and I just want to go to bed. Hopefully, I'll see you all again sooner than we think.

Peach and lube, everyone!

Tags:
Hong Kong ~ Storm Warriors ~ Storm Riders ~ Pang Brothers ~ Aaron Kwok ~ 郭富城

Oh, the porn!

The following post is inspired by two things:

1. Ben Browder's birthday (11th December), and

2. The particular scene in ‘Farscape’ ('John Quixote') where wicked Crichton Headroom chats to John in the lift using his eat-me-beat-me voice: "Floor please? Ohh-ohh-ohh-ohh - the penthouse. Mmmm."

Picspam dedicated to the amazing ball of charm, crazy genius and all-round big damn hero that is Ben Browder is HERE, at my sister-ship.

Don't say I never give you owt.



Peach and lube, people!


Tags:
Ben Browder ~ Farscape