The Detective (C+ 偵探) ~ a review

You know how you think you’ve got over an obsession and are pretty much back to normal, to all intents and purposes – and then you have cause to dip into the source of that obsession just for a moment, and realise that you never can really be without it?

Aaron Kwok (A.K.A. 郭富城, Mr. K, Ah Wong, 阿王, Sing-Sing, 城-城, and my personal favourite: 郭舞神) is like that. He’s like that cigarette packet you really should not pick up again. Or that power button on a PlayStation (whatever model you choose). Or that wee sip of pure orange juice from a pint bottle as left by the milkman.

Whatever the analogy, he’s an obsession just biding its time before it takes over all over again.

Take for example his new film, ‘The Detective’ (A.K.A. ‘C+ 偵探’, or literally translated ‘C+ Private Detective’). Now when I caught wind this would be coming out for Mid-Autumn Festival, I asked myself two questions, and two questions only: (1) How fast can I get my hands on tickets? and (2) Why have I not got premier night tickets anyway? Seeing as how I had them for two of his three most recent films after all. I laughed me arse off, not four rows of seats away, from the entire cast and senior crew of ‘Heat Team’ and again at ‘Throwdown’ (although I laughed considerably less than the local audience at the latter – it just wasn’t supposed to be funny, which makes me wonder again about the maturity of HK audiences at times). I sat through the Director’s Cut of ‘After This, Our Exile’ and would willingly sit through it again at least three times in the near future, but it just didn’t strike me till this evening just how much some people resemble their younger selves when pushed.

Don’t get me wrong – Aaron has always had one of them faces you’d not say no to. For anything. But during ‘After This, Our Exile’ he was using it for far less scrupulous purposes than in, say, ‘The Story of Kennedy Town’ (1990). Gone was the resemblance to that wee adorable lost puppy from ‘The Bare-Footed Kid’ (1993), or even the petulant self-serving git from ‘Anna Magdalena’ (1998). It was hard to even see how he’d just been the hapless yet somehow strangely likeable Inspector Syun from ‘Divergence’ (2005). Without a doubt, ‘After This, Our Exile’ had the effect of turning him into one of them actors that, suddenly, could turn his hand to any genre and make it work. Winning two Taiwanese Golden Horses fer Best Actor in as many years only made it less of a joke in Hong Kong press and more of a wary acceptance that he wasn’t some floppy-haired music idol any more. Or was he?

(And, in a very 'kids, it'll grow back!' Dragnet kinda way, he has already grown his hair back. And aren't we glad...)

Skip over his award-winning music concert series of 2004/2005 for a moment, and he’s gone on to concentrate on films as could consolidate his new position of resigned respect in the HK film community. And ‘The Detective’ shows a side to him that, although people might have joked about in the past, now realise could not be accurate at all. His character in the film is definitely not the sharpest tool in the drawer, blaming his failure to qualify for the local police academy on his short-sightedness. We’re led to believe that, while he’s not exactly slow on the uptake, he doesn't have the kind of finely-honed intellect of Sherlock Holmes when it comes to actual detecting. However, what he does have in abundance (apart from smooth muscles. ‘Scuse me, had to be said) is an insatiable appetite for just wanting to know why, rather than leaving a case cos he’s been paid and it’s kind of sorted. Kinda.

Which brings us to one of the clever points of this film – monikers. Everyone has them, especially among friends. And Mahjong partners, certainly. Aaron’s character is never referred to by anything other than ‘Tam’ – as in short for ‘private eye’. There’s a trend here, and far be it for me to let slip any spoilers, but what’s in a name anyway?

The supporting cast is brilliant – especially the Mahjong Four and of course his purr wee put-upon policeman friend, Liu Kai-Ji (廖啟智) doing his best to keep Tam’s PI nose out of his case files. The backdrop of Thailand only makes it seem more oppressive and resistant to his attempts to unravel the mystery of the woman stalking his client. As an avid guesser of outcomes, I was thrown off the scent quite a few times, ‘Ocean’s 11’ style, until the very satisfying pay-off at the end. Now who’s not good enough to be a real policeman?

So getting back to what you remember about old obsessions: sometimes you rediscover them and find it’s going to be a blatant case of not-stalgia – when you revisit old childhood cartoons and realise that they were not as good as you remembered them to be. Other times you remember exactly why they were obsessions in the first place. This is a clear case of the latter: those little faces he pulls as if he’s not aware of it, being nimble on his feet when you least expect it, the way he still runs as though his shoes cannot grip a surface, the amazing torturous shenanigans he constantly puts his eyebrows through, and the unmistakeable sound of his voice, whether demanding or sincere, reminding you of times you’ve rushed out to buy the latest album before rushing home again and lying on your bed, hands behind your head, listening to it at full blast. Twice. Ahhh, those were the days…

Fab cast, witty dialogue, twists and turns, red herrings, blatant clues, sharp editing, wonderful, wonderful performances, and typical genre-bending stuff from the brothers Pang.

Sorry, Ang Lee and Tony Leung Chiu-Wai, but Oxide Pang’s ‘The Detective’ has just knocked you off the top of my 2007 fave films list.

And that’s all the review that’s fit to print. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a copy of ‘The Bare-Footed Kid’ to root out and whack on the ol’ DVD player.

Or praps that guilty pleasure, the original 'Endless Love' album from 1989...

Judgin by that wee studio shot on the right circa 1990, I think it might have to be the album after all...

Peach and lube, people!

Tags:
Hong Kong ~ Asian Cinema ~ The Detective ~ Aaron Kwok ~ 郭富城 ~ C+ 偵探 ~ Oxide Pang

‘Lust. Caution’ ~ a review

Had a strange few days. But that’s over now. Then, cos today (Wednesday) is the day after this year’s Mid-Autumn Festival and therefore a public holiday, we watched the new Ang Lee angst-fest, otherwise known as ‘Lust / Caution’, and yay, it was proper.

Buying the tickets was quite weird an’ all – went to the counter, asked the bird fer two tickets fert 4pm showing. She looked at me and asked if I were taking one of the tickets, and was me friend like me. “What, foreign?” I ask innocently, waiting for the very considerate warning about how it’s not in English but will contain subtitles for my convenience. But no, ah, wait a minute – her reply? “No, old people.” So apparently I am old people and can watch the film.

“I iz old, it can be category three film time now pleez?”

So we watched it, and we loved it. Mostly cos the story’s the star, and everyone merely players therein. And of course Tony Leung Chiu-Wai always cuts an impressive swathe through any scenery he’s put into. He can’t help it. He spends about 165 mins (yes, 165 mins) being Mr Suave, Mr Cruel and Mr Oh Noez! (pretty much in that order). Seriously dude, watch the scene in the deserted restaurant, and if yer a girl and yer not drooling, you have plumbing problems. While he’s always been on my ‘aww, cotton socks!’ list cos he’s so wee and lovely, he’s also on my ‘ooh you vicious little bugger!’ list too, and this film ably demonstrates why.

Do not watch this if the odd bit of sexual violence disturbs you. Or in fact watching them pretty much cover half of the Kama Sutra without pausing for breath.

Although, I have to say, he did most of his best work here, and I’m not being funny. You’d have to see it to understand. It’s complicated.

Anyway, Wei Tang, playing the heroine, gave a brilliant performance, as did in fact everyone. There were times Wang Lee-Hom’s chiselled face didn’t quite cut it for me, but even he did much better than some of the cack he’s been involved with over his relatively short career. The scenes were beautifully shot and scripted, the camera work superb, and I have to say the music – not from Yo-Yo Ma or Shigeru Umebayashi or any of the other Wong Ka-Wai faithfuls, but Alexandre Desplat – was very, very good. We like. It gave everything a timeless feel, and yet in moments of extreme emotion, it was strangely silent. Very well done, I thought. All-in-all it’s one ‘war’ film I actually enjoyed.

The questions remain over the use of ‘stunt bums’, as the lead actors did have stand-ins credited. I only share this info cos we were watching some recently-discovered (by us) ‘Doctor bloody Who’ footage. It featured one Mr John Barrowman, pointing out the stand-ins for the Big Damn Heroes who are the Doctor, Martha and of course Captain Jack, do all the dangerous things that the actual insured actors can’t do – like sit in cars when they’re stationary.

Anyway, the point was that wee Tony isn’t so wee, and is altogether very fit when he’s in the altogether. Bearing in mind this was a category III film here in Hong Kong, which means you have to show ID to get in if they think yer under 18 years old. (No, they didn’t ask us. We obviously look 19, the pair of us.)

Apart from that, really have to chuck out my Mid-Autumn Festival Lantern from this year’s efforts, as the music is already turning me into a psychotic drunk. No wait…

Anyway, that’s yer onion. Have to go and relieve some aching muscles in a hot bath, then brave my painfully crappy mattress for the last few nights, before it’s consigned to the IKEA exchange truck.

Soopytwist.

Tags:
Hong Kong ~ Mid-Autumn Festival ~ Wei Tang ~ Asian Cinema ~ Ang Lee ~ Tony Leung ~ Jack Harkness ~ Doctor Who ~ YouTube

You’re a handsome devil, what’s your name?

So yeah, we watched ‘1408’ last week, and it were ace. We luuurve John Cusack long time, baby. So much, in fact, that I’ve gone back to me bookcase and been mightily upset that I’ve lost half me JC back catalogue. You cannot imagine the anguished wailing of absolute despair (unless you’ve seen ‘The Princess Bride’, that is) that echoed round me flat when I realised I’d not only NOT got a copy of ‘The Sure Thing’, but that I couldn’t find me copy of ‘Better Off Dead’, neither. Blood-curdling screams of torture, I tell you. However, I did have a copy of ‘Grosse Pointe Blank’, so that did the trick this evening. I swear to Sean, if John Cusack is not one of the coolest actors int world, there’s summat fundamentally wrong wi’ the universe. Wait: 6 x 9 = 42? Oh.

Anyway, loved ‘1408’. Loved Samuel L. Jackson, loved the ‘fucking evil room’, loved the mind-bending sanity-torture (can you ever really get out?), loved all the tiny weeny things that didn’t scream at you, cos they’re sposed to be subtle, dontchaknow. ‘Cept we’ve all clocked em, so it’s fine. It’s damned fine. It’s a DVD wi’ ‘BUY ME’ stamped ont cover – ‘cept we know half them really fancy SFX ain’t gonnae come out on a DVD. Ah well. Fantastic effort though lads, well done!

And laffed me arse off all through’t ‘Grosse Pointe Blank’ too (yeah, I know this pic's from 'Better Off Dead' - gotta love those drag races!) – gawd, that man is so good at off-beat, weird humour. The blackness, I tell you. He’s ace. In a big way. Although I did also roll around to Joan Cusack’s demands for some bird ont phone to get her shipment of live ammo in, too. She’s ace, an’ all. And did you clock the other Cusack sibling as Amy, the drunk bird at table in the The Hippo Club? Aye thank you…

What were we talking about? Oh, ‘1408’, I remember. Did I say it were ace? Ok then, job done. Onto choons, methinks.

This week I have mostly been listening to Soler’s new ‘X2’ album (don’t laff, they’re actually really good), Air Traffic and of course Ben’s Brother. And I have to say, socialite girl’s-girl / lad’s-girl / girl-about-town that I am, I also attended a ‘senior’ CD launch par-tay for a new CD by one Luke Chow. Whose warm-up act, Joves, had a beautiful voice like Billy Holiday (kinda) an’ blew me away wi’ her incredible acoustic guitar an’ soulful vocals. Ooh, I like that: ‘soulful vocals’, LOL.

Did I just type ‘LOL’ in a blog post? I did. Slap me, somebody.

Has it stopped raining yet? I need to get outside for a cigarette.

Anyway, full week coming up: karaoke, Tony Leung’s new category III-fest, ‘Lust / Caution’ (from the emo-master that is Ang Lee) and then Aaron Kwok’s new eye-candy-fest (hey, I’ve clocked the poster and his arms, thank you very much), ‘C+ Detective’. It’s going to be a full week.

And I’ve even posted me new ‘Doctor bloody Who’ fan-fic ont archive too, so don’t say I never give you owt.

I think that’s it. Can you tell we’ve been ont vodka till it ran out? Still waiting for me optic to arrive, or would that just measure what we already suspected?

Almost forgot, what wi’ being three sheets to’t wind an’ all ~ new ‘Doctor bloody Who’ vids on YouTube as have had me in stitches (before I were pisht, I might add). First off, we have Babel Colour’s amazing light-hearted, line-dancing, foot-tapping, Cyber-snapping, Who-cracking, finger-wagging, Babel-blagging rodeo video that just had me wetting meself fert ‘5, 6, 7, 8!’ bits, and then we have the ‘I Like The Way You Move’ effort – raving Cybermen! How fab is that!

That’s it, I’m off (insert sarcastic ‘smell’ remarks here). I should get kettle on and remember I’m working tomorrow. Unless this T1 ‘tropical cyclone warning of the weeniest fanniest pussiest wussiet has-to-ask-its-mam-‘fore-it-goes-out level’ continues as such and dunt develop into a full-blown T8. Which would be nice, as that means a whole day off fer me. And Wednesday being a public holiday fer Mid-Autumn Festival already ~ woo-hoo!

An’ I even hear they’re shooting the new Batman film here in Hong Kong. Woo-hoo, double woo-hoo, and an extra pint of woo-hoo fert weekend!

Peach and lube, then.

Tags:
Hong Kong ~ Mid-Autumn Festival ~ Aaron Kwok ~ 郭富城 ~ Tony Leung ~ Ang Lee ~ Lust. Caution ~ 1408 ~ John Cusack ~ fanfiction ~ Soler ~ Ben’s Brother ~ Doctor Who ~ YouTube

L.A. Without A Map

So since Thursday I’ve just been watching DVDs and drinking. No change there then. But I have managed to pull of a coup of major proportions in getting hold of a Johnny Depp film that even me Deppster-crazed sister dunt have (as yet). Oh yes, we’re talking ‘LA Without A Map’. How amazing am I? Don’t answer that.

After having patted meself ont back a few hundred times, I then settled in to watch it and found that (1) I were disappointed as all hell to find that Johnny Depp were in it fer praps… ooh, ten minutes (and we’re counting moments where he’s just ont poster in background), and (2) thrilled beyond measure to find that David Tenninch Tennant not only had his real voice on, but also peddled out a rather fine array of alternative language that pretty much had us in stitches. But you know when yer raised on ‘Ghostbusters’ as a kid (and yer family regularly fawn over the line ‘if someone asks you if you’re a god, you say YES!’) and then, years later, you watch ‘Grosse Pointe Blank’ and Dan Ackroyd swears like a sailor? And you kinda sit there, illusions shattered, because you’ve finally realised that actors are grown-ups too, and this ain’t a kids’ film? And oh my dog, did ‘Ray’ just say the F word nineteen times in one sentence?

Well that didn’t happen. Cos (1) I don’t believe for one minute that David Tennant is a grown-up, and (2) you can pretty much see him, big Doctor coat on, bleeping out all the naughty words he’d like to say in his head, cos the Doctor has no need of such filthy language. At least, not out loud. Anyway, back to the movie, and apart from sneaking in some fab one-liners, he does do an impressive range of faces, and his delivery of the classic grandmother joke in a Bradford accent so broad you could use it as a source o solar power fer half of England just had us squeeeeeeing fer hours.

Add in Vincent Gallo, who is indeed a rare find as The Bro Man, and a whole host of perfectly cast also-rans, and basically you’ve got a really good, really funny glimpse of long-lost Scot living in Bradford who gives it all up to chase the girl of his dreams back to LA only to find it’s not all shits and giggles and nearly goes off the deep end before getting his life back again, which is so rare these days. I shall forever remember the moment I nearly fell of me chair watching him electrocute himself trying to cook a sausage, and the ensuing mains jokes. And then of course you have his Johnny Depp poster that advises him through life without ever having to utter a word – honestly, we all know that the Deppster doesn’t need words to convey anything he’s thinking, but he does it so well wi a few raised eyebrows and knowing scrunches of the mouth – but only when purr misunderstood Davey’s watching, of course. Inspired.

The choice of music were also inspired, but try as I might I can’t find most of it. Gits. But anyway, if you ever see this for sale anywhere int world, just do yerself a favour and buy it. You’ll be glad you did.

Talking of the Doctor (like you didn’t know this were coming), a funny thing happened ont way to the lunch break, Saturday morning. I’m teaching, minding me own business, and I pull out me folder to write down progress notes fert kids currently creating compositions about families. Now, me folder has shitloads of stickers on it, mostly cos students sneak em on when I’m not looking. I have a plethora of Mickey Mouse, Lightning McQueen, and Doctor Who pictures (ta to my Primary Four students as have family int UK). Off to one corner is of course a picture of the Doctor, a typical look of slight confusion on his face. Anyway, one student leans over (cos I swear to Sean I have never met a nosier bunch of students than Hong Kong ones) and points to said picture.
“Who’s that?” she asks, “He’s hot.”
I just look at her, flicking through all of the responses queuing up in me head and choosing the most appropriate one fert occasion.
“How do you mean?”
“He’s got that big coat on. He must he hot.”
“Ah. Yes. Quite.”
Out of the mouth of babes, eh?

And so to choons. I know I haven’t mentioned music in a long time, but I really really have to bang on about Ben’s Brother and their album ‘Beta Male Fairytales’. I have never used the phrase ‘achingly beautiful’ to describe an album by anyone in my life, but I will now. This album is an absolute joy to take in, especially at the end of a long day – or any day, come to that. I’m totally in love with ‘Time’ and ‘Find Me An Angel’. Oh, and ‘Bad Dream’. And practically all of the tracks ont disc. It’s sublime, touching, amazing. Just downright must-have, so I expect you all to have rushed out and bought it ‘fore next we meet.

That’s about it, really. Oh, except Wallpapers of the Week have been updated again. Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll go and try to add a bit more to me amazing ‘Doctor bloody Who’ fanfiction masterpiece that’s going to take Tinternet by storm. Well, kinda.

Peach and lube, people.

Tags:
Vincent Gallo ~ David Tennant ~ Johhny Depp ~ Hong Kong ~ teaching ~ students ~ Doctor Who ~ film ~ Ben’s Brother

Filmtastic

I have to confess, I’ve been banging on about the unfairness of certain firms as have not provided Mac versions for paying customers, on the assumption that they couldn’t possibly NOT have access nor inclination to use a PC. It does seem that at least one body also find this unfair – the watchdog thing that checks the good ol’ Beeb is actually spending license money where and when it should also thinks that their iPlayer heap should already be working fer lovely cuddly Mac people. So, yay Mac people and Beeb watchdogs, I suppose.

Should go some way to stop people downloading shite they shouldn’t – or will it? If you’ve been lucky enough to read any of me past posts since I started this attempt at grown-up drivel, you’ll notice I live overseas and have had to resort to ‘alternative measures’ to get certain programmes I love to watch (and, inevitably, more on that later). So it’s no surprise to anyone that people in the UK are also helping themselves to shows from’t overseas companies too. After all, why do we have to wait fer top-rated shows when people blab what happens in em not five minutes after the damned episodes finished (pointing no fingers, and especially not at meself).

Speaking of TV, this George W. Bush piss-take is apparently doing the rounds, and I have to say, I laffed me arse off (ta to big sister for sending me the link).

Meanwhile, back here in Hong Kong, the annual Battle of the Mooncakes is hotting up again. With a bit of luck we will NOT be getting relentless Joey Yung ads, cos I have to say, she really does get on me tits. Not literally, of course. Stop it, all of you. Anyway, I’ll be getting St, Honore ones in again this year, and yeah, it’s cos I’m shallow enough to be swayed by large pictures of Aaron Kwok Fu-Sing selling em. I’m that kind of girl. Also speaking of the lovely Aaron (who does qualify for the ‘People You Would Lick All Over’ category, along wi John Barrowman and Gerard Butler), it seems he not only has another film out soon (‘The Detective’), but oh lookie, what’s that coming over the hill? Is it a concert? Is it a concert? Well maybe it is… and yer all assuming I know of tickets and seating… Well, you might think that, but I couldn’t possibly comment. Suffice to say: excitement itself.

And talking of excitement – Jet Li and Jason Statham going at each other? Sounds good to me. The vehicle, ‘Rogue Assassin’ (or ‘War’ in other parts of the world) opens here tomorrow (yeah, films change on a Thursday round here. Cool!) and rest assured, I will be tagging along to see it at some point. Which is ironic, cos I haven’t been to the cinema since… ooh, ‘The Invasion’, I think. Other than Jet Li, I’m well up for Ang Lee’s latest, ‘Lust / Caution’, simply because it features the impossibly suave wee Tony Leung Chiu-Wai (Chan Wing-Yan from the ‘Infernal Affairs’ trilogy, to the uninitiated). I’m sure it features other top-notch people as well (Joan Chen, anyone?) but they shall pale to insignificance beside the Acting God that is Wee Tony. Also ont cards is the Stephen King thriller-type thing with the inimitable John Cusack (we liiiiiiike!) and some bloke called Samuel L. Jackson – ‘1408’, also starring our own Paul Kasey (without him, you wouldn’t have a single walking/moving alien in ‘Doctor bloody Who’) in what I suspect will be a ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ moment. But at least he’s in there, eh.

So after I’ve got over that glut of potentially mind-bending films, praps I’ll get back to sorting me wallpapers of the week and generally keeping up wi Real Life. I tell you what though, some days it hardly seems worth it.

Anyway, soopytwist, and I shall see you all again quite soon.

Tags:
Hong Kong ~ BBC ~ George W. Bush ~ mooncakes ~ Aaron Kwok ~ 郭富城 ~ Jet Li ~ Jason Statham ~ Rogue Assassin ~ Ang Lee ~ Tony Leung ~ 1408 ~ John Cusack

Semantic stuff

So I asked the kids what the capital of France was, a while back. The answer? Yeah, you’ve guessed it, ‘F’. Nice. There then followed a semantic debate about whether that could actually technically be the answer to that particular question. Then I asked a class of four-year-olds to tell me the name of public transport that flew. The answer? A bus. To which I replied, “no mate, buses don’t fly.” Laffs and giggles all round. But he wouldn’t be put off. “Yeah they do, if you throw them really hard,” he says. A little ping went off in me head and then some loud Italian sports commentator suddenly shouted “Goooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaalll!” I’ve still no idea why.

Anyway, got me arse totally and completely kicked on that “Is it ‘and on-sy’ or ‘allons-y’?” debate. Well and truly. In his corner, matey cites the ‘Doctor bloody Who’ episode ‘Doomsday’, and a conversation about the Doctor wanting to meet someone called ‘Alonzo’ just so he could say “Allons-y Alonzo”. So obviously I lose Big Time. Which still doesn’t explain why he clearly said ‘and on-sy’ during that series three ‘Evolution of the Daleks’ episode. Ah well. What’s life without a little mystery, as Remington Steele once said. Anyway, doesn’t really matter, cos I managed not to include the phrase in me latest ‘Doctor bloody Who’ fan-fic, ‘Take Two Companions and Call Back In The Morning’. That’ll be number eight, now. And I thought I were only ever doing the one…

And finally to PCCW, then. Which, contrary to popular belief, does not stand for Pacific Century Cyber Works, but actually Poxy James Blunts and Conniving Wankers. Or rather, it would do if anyone over here knew what that meant. Basically, I’m trying to stop my phone contract of four years. I’ve called three times, the bloke as set up the contract for me has called twice, and still they can’t work out where my contract is cos they couldn’t find their arses with both hands and a Maglite. I give up. I’ve decided I’m going to stop the AutoPay (DD) and chuck the fucking SIM in the harbour. Then we’ll see if they can suddenly magic up a record of me having a contract. Something tells me they will.

Thinking of going to Hutchison Whampoa and getting a 2G but fancy phone (Motorola, me thinks). One as lets you have yer own ringtones as message tones, too. And has a nice big screen for me Wallpapers of the Week, which, by a startling coincidence, I’ve just updated this very evening.

So that’s yer onion. No, shallot. I’m off to look up fab phones on Tinternet and look up alternative network providers.

Peach and lube.

Tags:
Doctor Who ~ David Tennant ~ fanfiction ~ Hong Kong ~ teaching ~ students ~ PCCW

That’s not a word!

I do not believe it. I literally Do. Not. Believe. It.

You know when you think yer right, but the entire Universe is saying yer not? When you privately believe you’ve the right of it, but have to bow to popular pressure and concede that this time, you just ARE wrong and everyone else is right?

Guess what happened to me, then.

I’ve written a load of fan-fiction fer ‘Doctor bloody Who’, that’s no secret. But I were using the phrase ‘and on-sy’ fer them bits where the Doctor decides it’s time to do some stuff. However, heaps of people told me I were wrong, and it should actually have been ‘allons-y’ (as in the French).

Now I believed I were right, thinking he were just doing his normal thing of taking words and adding ‘y’ ont end (‘monky-monk-monks’ / ‘Mickity-Mick-Mickey’, anyone?). But seeing as everyone int known Universe were adamant I were wrong, I accepted the fact that this was one of them times you have to realise that you will never see the other’s point of view, and just put up and shut up.

So I trawled through about four fan-fics and changed all the ‘and on-sy’ bits to ‘allons-y’. Sorted.

Or so I thought.

Skip forward in time (snerk) to Friday night, and a much-enjoyed re-watching of the series three ‘Doctor bloody Who’ episode ‘Evolution of the Daleks’. Skip to the bit about… ooh, Martha’s just roasted all them pigmen int lift, wi help of wee Frank and Tallulah (three ‘l’s and an ‘h’), and the Doctor’s legged it up there to find they’re all alright. And then he instructs everyone to get a wiggle on.

He’s turned mostly toward the camera, and the position of that famous Scottish inverted-cleft tongue is clearly visible. And then he says, as if to twist the knife in me purr wee RSI-suffering wrist, ‘and on-sy’.

No tongue. No ‘l’. Not even a suggestion. There’s an unaspirated ‘d’ though. Oh yeah. Right there, clear as day. But I’m not feeling vindicated – more confused, due to the following:

i) Why did I not trust that I were right int first place?
ii) Why has it taken me this long to stumble over the place I probably first heard it?
(I thought it were actually in the series two episode ‘Girl In The Fireplace’, as some of them were set in France, and it’d make sense – but on second watching, he dunt use the word at all.)
iii) Is this really important in me life anyway?

Well, clearly it is, cos I’m blogging about it now. I think it’s the MOP (Matter Of Principle) thing, and of course the ‘why don’t I ever listen to meself?’ thing. And I’m not ruling out the ‘I’m just upset cos I’ll have to go back and change all them bloody fan-fics again’ thing.

Anyway, that’s about it. Nowt else really on, accept I’ve now discovered that the Motorola thing I wanted int nearly as customisable as it should be. So it’s off me Christmas list. What is on me Christmas list is a Life, so if anyone wants to make me a very happy geek and send one over that’d be great.

Soopytwist, everyone.

Tags:
Doctor Who ~ David Tennant ~ fanfiction ~ phonics ~ Martha Jones